


The Words that Bind Us

by Kendrickhier



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Soulmate AU, background Superlane, featuring Kara & J'onn, with appearances of Non & Indigo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9873371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kendrickhier/pseuds/Kendrickhier
Summary: Astra has been waiting for decades to get her soul-mark, a tattoo that shows the first thing your soulmate says to you, and when she does get it she isn't too happy about it. When Alex gets hers, her parents aren't too thrilled about it either, while Alex is slightly concerned. Will these two stubborn women find their way together in the end?...Who am I even trying to fool, this is fanfiction, just sit back and let me guide you through this soulmate AU where the two characters we love find love.





	1. "Alura"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first words soulmate AU that nobody asked for, until I made a post about it. Then two people did ask for it.
> 
> Quick note for those who need it: "..." is in English, <...> is in Kryptonese.

Fort Rozz really was a nightmare, one with no escape. It was a maximum-security prison like no other, with prison guards who didn't answer to anyone while they were aboard, who were honored for putting themselves through the same kind of torture the prisoners faced. To a lesser degree, of course; while only having the endless abyss of the Phantom Zone as view was a torture all in itself, it didn't compare to being defenseless among the worst criminals of the galaxy.  
  
That was the true horror of this place. Not the miles of pitch-black space, not the bleak foresight of possibly being here until the end of time, but being among the worst creatures and losing yourself to them.  
  
Astra had prided herself on being able to keep track of the passage of time, no matter where she was held captive, no matter the circumstances, but in the Phantom Zone? There was no time to keep track of. At first she'd tried, using her circadian rhythm as an indicator, but that had only lasted a month or so. It changed, adapted itself to the lack of day and night cycle, and now it was like being awake and being asleep were one and the same.  
  
She'd believe you if you'd say it had been 5 years as much as she'd believe you if you'd say it had been 5 centuries. It didn't matter to her, or any of them, how much time had passed. It was a pointless way to abide your time in a place where unspeakable things happened daily; death would be a mercy that wouldn't ever come.  
  
The woman sighs, staring at the ceiling blankly. There isn't anything to do but to think, think, and think some more. Back on Krypton she could appreciate her times alone, for they wouldn't last forever, not in a world filled with soulmates. She'd always been told that once she did find her soul bond, she'd never want to be alone again.  
  
On top of that she had her twin sister, Alura, who she'd been inseparable from. Alura, whom she loved dearly. Alura, who'd believed her warning regarding Krypton's destruction. Alura, who bears a soul mark.  
  
  
  
_Alura is five years old when the skin on her upper arm starts to itch and she squeals in excitement. From the other side of the room Astra looks up to her twin sister, seeing her roll up her sleeve. A sentence was starting to take shape and it didn't take long for Astra to catch up, eyes gleaming with anticipation and happiness for her sister._  
  
_Her sister was early, the mark of a soulmate not usually appearing before the age of 10, but it wasn't unheard of. It was different for everyone; not just the words, but the way it appeared and behaved as well. Typically they would appear somewhere during the teenage years, with a light sensation, and wouldn't fade until one or both were dead, but for all intents and purposes, these tattoos were as unique as the people themselves. Some would change once the words were spoken, some would thicken rather than fade upon the death of a soulmate, some would call your attention when you're near your soulmate even before words are spoken._  
  
_Not even their most advanced technology could predict what it would be and when it would happen; they were a mystery, but one they'd embraced as a society. It was believed that Rao orchestrated these soul bonds and were therefore considered sacred. Not all of these bonds were of a romantic nature, but the great majority of them were._  
  
_Kryptonese words appeared and were visible enough to read by now. <You look bored> it read and Astra laughs at that. The only time Alura gets bored is when she draws the short end of the stick and switches places with her, so clearly she is going to win another bet in the nearby future. _  
  
_Neither of them expected them to be said at that very science fair where Alura took Astra's place the same day. She spun around and faced Zor-El, beaming when she spoke the words that were carved onto his stomach, <”It's you!”>_  
  
  
  
When Alura had told her about it, Astra had been thrilled for her and demanded to meet him at once. How eager she'd been to get her soul mark after hearing her sister's experience with it, how warm it had made her feel and how lovely her mate is. All she'd been able to think about was what her own soul bond would be like, what the words could possibly be, if they'd be as nice as Zor-El was.  
  
She kept hoping for that, day in and day out, waiting for the day it would appear. She didn't fool herself into thinking that she'd be early like her sister - just because they were genetically identical didn't mean Rao had the same path in mind for them - but surely it should appear around the same time of her peers.  
  
But it didn't and those peers would make sure she remembered that every day, with their relentless teasing. It wasn't anything new to her as they'd teased her before for being a twin; it was a phenomenon that shouldn't have happened in the first place, or be possible at all. A mistake of the Codex, that's all she was to them.  
  
  
  
_Astra is thirteen when she decides that enough is enough. It's not easy being a twin on Krypton, in a place where a machine fabricates Kryptonians to the point of perfection, where there is only one person needed to fill a position and no place for a second. Ever since Alura's gotten a soulmate, Astra's been getting the brunt of it, as if having a soul bond somehow proves that she's the original and Astra is nothing but her copy._  
  
_She's tired of being seen merely as Alura's twin, of the disappointment she sees on everyone's faces when they discover it's her and not her counterpart, and of the pout Zor-El makes at her whenever she takes Alura's place. He always knows when it's Alura because his mark tingles when she's near, something he doesn't have with Astra._  
  
_The cruelty of her peers she can handle, but she doesn't want Alura to face it whenever she takes her place, and so she decides she needs a mark of her own. Her own soul mark has not come in yet, but even when it does, there is no guarantee it will be in a visible place. She needs something that is obvious._  
  
_So she decides to burn away the pigment in a strand of hair on her temple. Perhaps it's not her most brilliant plan, especially not when her parents find out about it and her father In-Ze scolds her for at least a solid hour, but it's effective._  
  
_When Alura sees it, she merely smiles. <”I think it suits you, sister,”> she says, and it's enough for Astra to gain confidence in her decision, returning the smile with ease. _  
  
  
  
Astra's finger had found her way to her hair, part of the white strand wrapped around it, the same smile from back then gracing her features as she reminisced.  
  
Her peers had found a way to spin that change into something bad, of course, comparing her to the most oblivious creature to roam their planet, most recognizable by the highlighted streak in its fur. Again they tried to bring her down and make her feel like an incompetent, but it hadn't mattered. They left Alura alone after that, everyone knew they were talking to Astra rather than her twin when speaking to her, and that was all she'd wanted out of it.  
  
From that moment forward, Astra started to embrace their differences and build upon them to become her own person. She was drifting more and more towards becoming the brawn of the two while Alura was the brain, despite the two of them having the same intelligence, as her sister had an undeniable knack for diplomacy that she didn't seem to have.  
  
So while the soul-bound twin was well on her way to becoming the best Judicator Krypton had ever known, Astra ended up turning to the Military Guild.  
  
  
  
_Astra is twenty and her soul mark still hasn't come, so the Military Guild had seemed like the best option. She'd familiarized herself with various battle strategies and turned out to be an excellent tactician, and without anything to lose, she was quick to rise the ranks._  
  
_Naturally, her fellow soldiers were somewhat skeptical in the beginning. What was she fighting for if not for the protection of her soulmate, after all? But she'd quickly earned both their respect and that of their superiors by working hard and being fearless._  
  
_There was no objection to Astra being reckless with her life. After all, there is no soulmate that will be left behind, heartbroken and dysfunctional by her absence, because there is none. It's both an advantage and a disadvantage at times, but she makes it work; fighting for Alura is enough, as it always has been._  
  
_She wonders, sometimes, if her lack of soul bond is because she is a twin. There aren't any other twins that she knows of and can ask about it, but it wouldn't surprise her if there simply hadn't been space for a soulmate of her own. Maybe Zor-El was actually her soulmate - she was supposed to be at that fair, maybe she'd have gotten the tattoo instead of Alura if she'd gone instead - but it didn't matter now. He's Alura's, not hers._  
  
_That doesn't mean she's given up on the notion however, Astra still silently hopes that one day she will have a soulmate too and prays to Rao it will be sooner rather than later._  
  
_Until then however, she will keep Krypton safe and explore the rest of their galaxy on her missions._  
  
  
  
A military life wasn't a bad one by any means. She'd picked up on at least twenty different languages along the way, just so she could communicate with the populace of the planets she visited. Astra would always bring along a trinket from local markets, in whatever shape they came, as a memory of the good times.  
  
The bad times didn't need an object to be remembered, those would be burned into her memory. They still plague her to this day, the few times she'd failed to save people in time, or was forced to act with lethal force.  
  
It was all worth it in the end though, especially when her list of people to protect expanded.  
  
  
  
_Astra is twenty-three when she gets a message from her brother-in-law, grinning broadly at the news of them getting to pick up their child. She rushes to their home as fast as her vehicle lets her, eager to meet this new addition to their family._  
  
_She practically runs through the building to find them, almost knocking Zor-El over when he happens to round the corner, but coming to a stop just in time. Before she can open her mouth to ask, the man smiles and gestures for her to follow him. <”Come meet your niece, Astra.”>_  
  
_When they step into the room, Astra gasps at the sight of her sister with the little one. Alura is positively glowing with the infant in her arms, who is gurgling happily. But it's not until she gets closer and really gets to take a look at the young Kryptonian that her heart melts completely; she is so beautiful._  
  
_< ”This is my sister Astra, Kara. She's your aunt,”> she can hear Alura say, the warmth evident in her voice, matching the smile she's been donning._  
  
_Innocent blue eyes gaze at Astra's curiously when she's close enough, and she smiles. <”Hello there, little one.”>_  
  
_It's a major relief when Kara Zor-El lights up then, making grabbing motions towards Astra, making Alura chuckle. <”I think she wants you to hold her.”>_  
  
_She didn't have to be told twice, gently taking over her niece and bouncing her softly. Kara immediately reaches out for the streak of white hair, playing with it and giving it an experimental taste. The child seems satisfied with the result it gave her, continuing to toy with it._  
  
_It warms Astra's heart more than she can describe, to see her niece enraptured by the one feature that is exclusive to herself, and she vows then to protect Kara to the best of her capabilities._  
  
  
  
Her habit to pick up a trinket on her missions grew to bringing a second one along for Kara then, with the promise to one day take her there when she was older. The excitement of her Little One made it all worth it and became something to look forward to.  
  
Astra might not have made the vow to protect her official in any way, but she'd kept it. It isn't worth much now when she's trapped in Fort Rozz and she'd seen Krypton implode on itself, but she'd done everything in her power to make sure Alura's child would be safe.  
  
  
  
_It's eleven years after Kara is born, when she is a respected General, that she discovers Krypton won't be around for much longer. She noticed a spike in the gravitational pull and went to the Science Guild personally to have it checked out. This is where she meets Non, who seems to be the only one willing to help her and not dismiss it as a miscalculation or malfunction of the system's readings._  
  
_The results are nothing short of terrifying._  
  
_It wasn't surprising with how they'd been abusing their planet's resources, but it came as a shock to see just how bad it was. The support for their crust was barely existent anymore and at this rate the whole thing would collapse on itself within a year, two years at best._  
  
_She's gone before Non can blink, speeding towards her family. There was no time to spare, not with a core this unstable. All Astra could do was hope she wasn't too late yet, dire as the situation may seem._  
  
_By the time she finds Alura, she is panting in the door opening, looking very frantic. <”Where is Kara?”> She checks, stepping inside and sealing the room. She doesn't want her niece to worry about this; brilliant as she is, she is still a child, and no child should have to bear a burden such as this._  
  
_< ”On a trip with Zor-El.”> She frowns as she takes her sister in. <”Are you alright, Astra?”>_  
  
_Shaking her head, Astra quickly takes the seat opposite to Alura. There is no time to sugarcoat any of this. <”Krypton is dying, Alura.”>_  
  
_For a moment, she doesn't respond at all, frozen in her seat. The only indication that the woman is still alive is the rise and fall of her chest, but then her expression hardens, voice carefully controlled. <”Are you certain of this?”>_  
  
_< ”Yes, I wouldn't come to you otherwise.”> Astra sighs. She found the information, but doesn't know what to do with it, nothing that isn't illegal anyway. Her sister has been working with and against the system for years however, so if anyone knows how to do this properly, it's her. _  
  
_Alura's plan involved telling the Council what is happening and letting them deal with it. Surely they'd want to preserve the planet they were in charge of, or so was her reasoning. When that preservation involved stopping the drain of the planet's resources however, their greed seemed to stop them from taking any action._  
  
_< ”Whatever happens next,”> Astra told Alura, grabbing her by her arms. <”If the situation calls for it, you get Kara and get her out of here.”>_  
  
_Her sister nodded, cupping her cheek gently. <”I promise you, I will bring Kara to safety, no matter what.”>_  
  
  
  
That is all Astra'd needed. Soul marks be damned, she had no need for one, not when Krypton and her own blood needed her full attention. As far as she was concerned, the planet was her soul bond.  
  
So she'd gone back to Non and together they started the Myriad project, trying to convince the ordinary people that they needed to change their lifestyles. That Krypton wasn't a playground for them to destroy, but that it was as alive as any of them and needed to be taken care of.  
  
But nothing they did had been enough, nothing they could say would have changed their minds, so they'd tried it through fear. Neither of them had meant for any casualties, but drastic measures had to be taken in order to get anyone to listen. They destroyed the equivalent of a power plant that was harmful to the planet to send a message, and it brought 18 people to Rao's light.  
  
Astra mourned them all, knew their names and faces, still remembers and gets haunted by them. She was the one to decide when they were going to strike, had gone into their database to figure out the least devastating moment, and this was the best she could do.  
  
Myriad was completed mere moments before Kara summoned her with her spy-beacon. They were going to activate it the next day, use Argo City as a supercomputer, thousands of minds working together for a solution to save the planet, but it wasn't meant to be. Alura had decided on that very day to lure them in and capture them, the visit a trap for Astra while her husband had been caught elsewhere.  
  
They were sentenced the day Myriad was supposed to go live. Instead of the day they'd save Krypton it had been the day to condemn it, and that was perhaps the worst thing about this situation. One more day and her family and planet would still be here. Just one.  
  
It was hard not to hate her sister for that, possibly her niece too. Sweet Kara, the bait in Alura's plan, or perhaps the mastermind of the plan itself. Had Alura known Kara would summon her and taken advantage on the spot? Had Kara known Alura would use this opportunity? The uncertainty made Astra hate them both, but Rao, she still loved them so much, she'd give anything to see them again.  
  
But the longer she was here, the more love turned to hate. It was only a matter of passing moments until it would all be gone, all memories bitter; she'd be just another monster in Fort Rozz.  
  
Astra jerks up when she's drawn back to reality - whether she had been asleep or lost in thought was a mystery, though irrelevant - her wrist burning violently. She hisses and grits her teeth against the pain, staring at her wrist as angry red lines start to appear.  
  
<”What in Rao's name?”>  
  
More lines, and it's now clear that this is not written in Kryptonese. Not even in the worst handwriting on her planet would the symbols look so curvy and loopy. The harsh lines of red are now seemingly welting, turning a harsh black and finally, finally it stops burning, a relieving breeze of cold passing through before it's just another part of her skin.  
  
The woman stares at it curiously, trying to make out what writing system this is. It's not any she is intimately familiar with, not a fluent language, and the fact that this is handwritten makes it even harder to decipher.  
  
When it finally hits her, she lets out a bitter laugh. The script is of the planet they had chosen as their safe-haven, should the time for running arise. It is of Earth, and while she hasn't mastered any of the languages yet, this is one of the very few words she did know how to read.  
  
"Alura" it reads, and of course even her own soulmate would know of her sister. Always Alura's twin, even to her mate.  
  
Astra tries to squash the blooming hope that this could mean her sister was alive and well back on Earth, Kara with her and perhaps even Zor-El. Maybe they'd taken along Lara and Jor-El too, them and whatever they named the child that the woman carried when she last saw them. But it wouldn't do to hold onto hope when she was stuck in the Phantom Zone, for there was no getting out.  
  
Her soulmate would have to live without her, just another burden to bear for eternity.


	2. "I've been waiting quite some time..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! Within a week! Hell must have frozen over.  
> Enjoy! (I hope.)

It's rumored that soulmates get their tattoos simultaneously, or at the very least on the same day as each other. In the majority of cases this does seem to be the case, but it's not the case for Alex and her mate. They won't be able to check in hindsight, but Astra got her mark when Alex is born, whose skin was a blank canvas still, as it should be.

The record for youngest human to get their tattoo is 2 years, 5 months, and 24 days old; no one is born with it.

Alex does get hers fairly early on however.

It's during dinner one day when she is eight years old, talking animatedly about her day at school, when she suddenly bursts out laughing hysterically in the middle of her story. Her parents are confused and she tries to explain that it's like someone is tickling her side, but she can't breathe long enough for any words to come out.

Instead Alex gestures to her right side and Eliza is beside her in a split second, lifting her shirt to take a look at it. She hears her mother gasp and now her father is at her side too, staring with wide eyes. The girl wishes they would say something, tell her what's going on; her own vision is too blurry to take a look right now and she's pretty sure that she's going to pass out if this tickling doesn't stop soon.

Thankfully it does and she scrambles to dry her eyes to take a look. There are words now and suddenly it clicks for her. A soulmate tattoo. She's the first in her class to get one and while she'd heard that all of them were unique, she'd never imagined hers would try to  _tickle_  her to death.

The sentence is placed vertically, turned so she can read it herself, spread out over two lines. It's a bold font, all straight lines and sharp angles, the black standing out harshly against her skin. Upon closer inspection there's a lighter line that contours the letters, something close to white. It takes her some effort to read it properly, but when she does read it, Alex suddenly understands the shock on her parents' faces.

"I've been waiting quite some time  
to get one of you alive."

No one can be certain of the context of the situation, but the implications are loud and clear. This is not something you say to someone under normal circumstances; this is the kind of thing you say to someone you've kidnapped.

Alex immediately thinks of the movies she's seen, the ones she sneaks around for so her parents don't know she watches them. She likes to watch horror as a sort of challenge to herself, to muster up the courage to keep watching when the scary bits happen. The first few times ended with her crawling in bed with her parents, scared of the imaginary monsters she was sure they would protect her from, but she'd gotten better at it now.

She's both a little scared and a little thrilled at the prospect of getting into one of those situations herself in the future, with her soulmate no less. They wanted her alive, so she could say the words of their tattoo; there was no doubt in her mind that this would have a happy ending.

The following week she attends her first karate class on her own insistence; it wouldn't hurt to know how to defend herself after all, just in case her mate doesn't care for soul bonds.

\-----

She's fourteen when her parents tell Alex she's going to have a little sister. Not a baby sister though, quite the opposite; Kara should be her age, younger by a year, physically and mentally speaking. When it comes to their time in this universe however, things get more complicated: her new sister isn't from Earth and was born before Superman was.

That's not important however, what's important is that this is now going to be her sister and that she's suffered great losses, bigger than Alex can even begin to imagine. Not for a lack of effort, because she'd tried, but it hadn't the same effect when you're still on the same planet while doing so.

It's uncomfortable at first with Kara around. Her parents' attention is now divided between the two of them rather than solely on herself and it's not easy for her to adjust to this. It starts with resentment, not just for the lack of attention from her parents, but also for the constant need of Alex's attention and the new task her parents have given her; looking out for the girl at all times.

She does look out for Kara, though begrudgingly at first. Alex isn't too thrilled about losing her friends because her sister always has to join them, but it's the last push she needs to really introduce her to humanhood. It's how the subject of soulmates eventually pops up.

"Soulmates are kind of a big deal to us," the older sister explains, settled next to Kara, both sitting on the blonde's bed. "It's impossible to marry anyone who isn't your mate, the government won't allow it."

For a moment Alex thinks she's made a grave mistake, because Kara suddenly looks sad again as she ponders this, but surprises her by perking up again. "Do you have your mark yet?"

Alex nods and bares her right side, revealing the harsh words. They concern her more than they did when she first got them, but she's still convinced it'll work out just fine.

To her credit, Kara doesn't gasp like Eliza and Jeremiah had when it had first appeared. Instead she strokes it gently. "What was it like?" She asks, studying it closely, like looking at it will reveal the secrets of the universe somehow.

"It tickled," she answers and grins mischievously as Kara looks back at her. "Like this." Alex practically dives for her sister's side and starts tickling her, delighted to find out she's as ticklish as humans are.

Contrary to her own experience however, she does stop when Kara begs her to, letting her catch her breath. Kara's still chuckling when she comments, "If that's what it felt like, I'm sure they'll be great."

All Alex can do is smile in return, because for once someone doesn't immediately assume the worst of her soulmate. It makes her happier than she thought it would.

They grow closer after that, truly start to grow into being siblings. She learns that Kara was an only child just like herself, and learns that she doesn't have a soul mark. Alex reassures her that it's still possible, just because it hasn't appeared yet, doesn't mean it won't. Superman is bonded with Lois after all, so surely there would be someone out there for her too; clearly species wasn't a hindrance.

\-----

When she's in her junior year of high school, her life changes drastically once again. This time it's not due to an addition to her family, but a loss. It's Jeremiah, her  _father_ , who dies in an accident. The man who taught her about the stars, who supported her as much as he could, who made her feel proud of the things she accomplished. To say it was devastating would be the understatement of the century.

They'd gotten home that day to find Eliza curled up on the couch, sobs wracking her body. She was surrounded by crumpled up tissues, but had apparently given up on using them at some point, considering she attempted to dry her face with her sleeves when she noticed their presence.

Alex didn't need to ask if she was okay, it was obvious that she wasn't. "Mom, what happened?" She questions instead and she wishes that she hadn't when she hears the answer.

"Jeremiah died."

She freezes, unable to move, unable to think and it feels like she can't breathe, but when she hears the choked gasp coming from her left and sees her mother break down in front of her all over again, her gears get kicked back into motion. Alex has to be strong for the both of them. Her mother just lost the love of her life, her soulmate, and Kara's already lost her whole world, she can't even imagine what this must be like for her sister. Right now the most important thing is being there for them.

So that is what Alex does, she huddles them up on the couch and holds them while they mourn the loss. They talk, but mostly they cry, and Alex does her best to soothe both of them. She makes sure they stay hydrated too and actually eat something, even if only it's a single delivery pizza split between the three of them.

Alex doesn't let herself mourn her father's loss until later that day when Kara's passed out in her room, settled on the roof and watching the stars when it all crumbles. Even now she's silent as tears roll down her cheeks, remembering how he'd leave in the morning with a sappy "I love you, Alex" and a kiss pressed to her forehead, doing the same to Kara, as if he'd never see them again.

She usually protested, feeling smothered, but this morning she'd accepted it. As if she'd known.

Alex didn't believe in a higher power, but if there was a god out there to make sure that happened, she'd yell at that god for not preventing the accident in the first place. Or worse, for causing the accident, because who knew how that would work. Her father was a great man, he didn't deserve to die, not today, not until many years and  _damnit_  she needed him.

She goes back inside after about an hour, not having any tears left to spill. Alex goes back on the roof the next day, and the day after that, on the day they bury an empty coffin, and after that it becomes a habit. She watches the stars in his memory every night whenever she's at home and never lets herself forget how great he was.

It's tougher without him: with Eliza more on edge Alex gets criticized even more and her mother's insistence of keeping Kara in line for her protection gets more fierce. It doesn't help that her Kryptonian sister doesn't just have superpowers, but that she's also a genius, and she complains regularly about having to keep a low profile regarding both those things. It's hard not to feel inferior, perhaps even impossible not to.

And so Alex works harder than anyone, graduates with honors, earns her black belt in karate, wins several surfing competitions, and goes for her MD-PhD. It's not until her last year that it gets too much for her, the stress of... Well, everything crashing down on her.

She breaks and seek solace in hard liquor and loud music, parties away the night, but luckily always ends up back in her own apartment even when she can't remember how she got home. That doesn't change the killer headache she has to deal with, but that's something she knows how to handle at least.

Except the one night she ends up in a sobering cell and gets a visit from Hank Henshaw, who recruits her for the DEO. Her karate lessons had nothing on the training she faces there; it's not just sparring with humans she's being prepared for, she's being prepared for extraterrestrials who have extra limbs, are much faster or stronger than she is, or spit a deadly poison. Needless to say she hadn't enjoyed that particular preparation; the memory of being covered in spit still makes her wince.

It's not just fighting either, she learns how to face interrogations and torture, how to fool a lie detector, how to dismantle bombs, and everything there is to know about Kryptonian physiology. Alex finishes her degree during her training period as well, and a year later she's officially a bio-engineer who is capable of kicking some serious ass. Keeping Kara safe is easy with the DEO keeping tabs on her whereabouts at all times, something she's definitely not going to be telling her sister about even if she was allowed to. Which she's not.

If she entertains the thought of this risky job increasing the chances of meeting her soulmate, well, that's no one's business but her own. She's certain Hank won't appreciate Alex meeting her mate on the other side of the battlefield, but she'll deal with that when the time comes.

\-----

Astra was in her cell when the shift in view drew her back to alertness. Instead of the vast blackness of the Phantom Zone, it was an ever-changing light show that could only mean they were moving. Fort Rozz wasn't supposed to move, but that didn't mean it wasn't capable of it with an escort. They hadn't been informed of any changes - not that she expected to be informed if there were any - so then why were they traveling with at least a thousand times the speed of light and who was escorting them?

She got half the answer about a day later when the prison slowed down, a solar system coming to view. Astra focused on the planets, finding her sight better than she remembered, and recognized the third planet from the yellow star: Earth. There wasn't an escort in sight from what she could see, but they were apparently headed for her established safe-haven.

When they crashed on the planet, they broke out and collectively took down their prison-guards. Some fled the scene rather than fight, afraid to be taken by their captors again, but most of them fought. Astra fought too, noticed how much lighter on her feet she was; the gravity of Earth might as well be non-existent, especially when she discovered she could fly.

The battle was over relatively quickly, their sheer numbers too overwhelming, and Astra took her chance to seize control of this reckless bunch. She didn't know everything about Earth, but she knew nothing good could come from releasing them into the world on their own. Either they would die at the hands of the humans, or they'd tear through the humans and destroy the planet in their attempted survival.

In the end she managed to convince the majority of them, with some of Non's help. There are 7 billion humans on this planet and they'd be fools to think they weren't going to have trouble fighting all of them on their own. There was power in numbers, stronger together, so they had to stick together too if they wanted to survive. That, and they barely knew this planet. In exchange for their loyalty to her, she'd provide them with all their needs, both in the shape of information and substance.

She learned English quickly, within a week or so, and added Spanish to her repertoire for her own benefit. If her soulmate was on this continent they'd likely speak at least one of those two languages, and she'd like to be able to communicate with them. There wasn't any time to look for them though, not while having to keep the other escapees satisfied and having to live up to her rank as General.

Astra kept them busy with training, teaching the other Kryptonians how to harness their new abilities - while figuring it out herself in the process - and training all of the former convicts that kept their lust for battle. She didn't have a real plan until they discovered Earth was treated the same by the humans as Krypton had been by them prior to its destruction. She could save this planet like she couldn't before, there was more time and all they'd need was resources; she'd already been keeping it safe from the galaxy's worst criminals anyway, might as well keep it safe from ecological destruction. So after telling Non, the Myriad Project was back on.

It felt good to have a purpose again.

Everything was going well until she saw the news broadcast on a girl saving a plane from crashing. It drew Astra's attention because she could only be Kryptonian, and she knew the blonde hadn't been aboard Fort Rozz with the rest of them. This 'Supergirl' appeared to be in her twenties, which was perhaps the most puzzling thing of all, because Krypton had been destroyed about 36 years ago, according to Indigo's calculations. She couldn't be offspring either; there was only one other Kryptonian on this planet, and he was too young to have a daughter Supergirl's age.

Looking at her made her think of her niece, but that couldn't be. If Alura had managed to send her to Earth like they'd planned, Kara would be older than Superman - who could quite possibly be Kal-El - not younger.

Except she wasn't the only one reminded of Kara, or rather, of her mother. One of her captains informed her of Supergirl too, and when she'd ordered him to find out who it was, she trusted the Kryptonian would be able to handle herself in battle against the Valeronian Vartox, who relied too much on his strength.

When it was confirmed that it was indeed Alura's daughter, Astra couldn't help remembering what had happened back on Krypton, of how she'd ended up in Fort Rozz rather than saving the planet. Anger and hatred accompanied that memory, having festered during her time in prison, and it blinded her, only able to think of her niece's betrayal and interference. So the general ordered them to kill her, for she wasn't going to let Kara stop her from saving this planet. Not this time.


	3. Meeting At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pieces are in place.  
> The stage is set.  
> Are you ready for this?  
> ...  
> I wasn't either, but it's too late to back out now, you're stuck with me in this ride. Buckle up, soldiers, it's time for our ladies to finally meet!

When they started looking into the Hellgrammite, Alex hadn't expected him to snatch her from the DEO vehicle. In her year on the field this was the first time something like this had happened, and it was far from what she'd imagined as a child. First of all, she was in a lot more pain than she'd hoped, and secondly, she wasn't as thrilled as she'd expected to be. After her training she'd learned to focus on the mission, so her soulmate had been the last thing on her mind.

The guy had dragged her to some dimly-lit warehouse and she'd immediately looked for ways out. Unless you could fly the only way in or out would be through the entrance, which was reassuring as much as it was concerning; easy to see new threats coming, but harder to escape. Not that Alex would be able to escape with her injured leg, not unless she could injure her captor.

Alex shifted, getting in a better position to get up if need be. She paused when she heard someone approach.

"Where's the Kryptonian?"

She stilled; Alex knew that voice. She'd heard it before, back in the DEO, in the room she'd built for Kara. That was the voice of Alura, if her AI's voice was anything to go by, the voice of Kara's mother. Alex wondered what she was doing here, why she was here, how she was here in the first place. If she'd escaped Krypton's explosion, why had she sent Kara away on her own, why hadn't Alura just crawled in the pod with her daughter?

Alex couldn't hear what the guy replied, mind racing as she thought about Alura and the many questions that arose with her presence. She'd mentioned a Kryptonian, which made Alex wonder if she'd sent for Kara to be captured, and why she'd prefer capturing her daughter over simply meeting her.

She could see the Hellgrammite leave and Alex turned to look at the woman as she crouched down to the agent's level. There was no mistaking it, she looked exactly like the holographic Alura.

"I've been waiting quite some time to get one of you alive," she commented with an eerie smile, reaching out and stroking Alex's cheek gently with her index finger.

Alex froze in recognition. As if the words weren't enough confirmation, her side started burning uncomfortably in response; her tattoo recognized it too. This was her soulmate, there was no doubt about it, and Alex didn't know how to feel about it. This was her sister's _mother_ and that was wrong on so many levels, but it was her soulmate.

She had no idea how that was possible though, she remembered Kara telling her about Alura, about the fact that her parents had been soulmates and had lucked out in that regard. If Alura had Zor-El as soulmate, would that mean her bond was one-sided? Alex had never heard of an occurrence like that, but she could imagine people would want to keep it under the wraps if it were a possibility.

"You're bleeding," the woman, her _soulmate_ , commented, and Alex couldn't tell if that was concern in her voice or not. She'd gotten up from her crouch somewhere during her musings and started walking around Alex. "Human beings are so fragile, it's amazing any of you make it out of infancy."

Alex should say something, but her mind didn't get much farther than the bafflement of who was in front of her. She needed to know though, enemy or not, Kara's mother or not, she needed to be sure. She settled on just the woman's name.

"Alura."

\-----

Astra froze dead in her tracks upon hearing her sister's name, not missing the tingle on her wrist where the name was written. She hadn't expected to meet her soulmate like this, on the opposite side of the battlefield. She knew they were bound to be on this planet of course, and she had faith Rao would make their paths cross, but this was a surprise. That could wait however, _had_ to wait.

What she needed to know was how this human knew of Alura, how she could recognize her on sight and voice, if her sister had made it to Earth after all, if the agent's organization had captured the sister that condemned her. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with that information, how to feel about the hope and hatred that grew inside of her simultaneously, but it was crucial information to get.

"How do you know that name?" She demanded, before turning around. Laying eyes upon the human now, injured and fragile, knowing it was her soulmate made Astra unable to stop the softening of her harsh demeanor.

Her mate moved to take a better look at Astra. "I saw a hologram of you, a message from Krypton. It was in the ship that brought your daughter..." The injured woman paused, before seeming to correct herself. "That brought Supergirl to Earth."

Astra shouldn't be feeling disappointed by the news, the news that her jailor wasn't here on Earth with them, the news that the woman who betrayed her was as dead as she thought she'd be. Alura had condemned her, had condemned the entire planet by doing so, she didn't deserve to live while millions of others died.

No, she shouldn't be feeling relief at her sister's death being reaffirmed. It was still her family.

Astra was about to respond when a noise drew her attention to the entrance of the warehouse.

"Aunt Astra?"

Supergirl was standing there, her dear niece, her traitorous niece, her little one, stunned upon seeing her aunt for the first time in decades. Astra wasn't faring much better herself; there were too many feelings to simply set aside, nothing her training or time in Fort Rozz had prepared her for.

Anger, there was so much anger and hurt that had crept into her heart during their separation, unsure of what had transpired exactly, but doubts having overshadowed all rational thought in the end. Intentional or not hadn't mattered in the end, her niece had still shared blame in her imprisonment.

But now seeing her again after all this time, the love for her surged forward once again, something that had not happened in Fort Rozz. She'd grown to become such a beautiful young woman; that screen humans deemed to be high quality had not done her justice in the slightest. Love and relief that Kara had made it off Krypton, that it had all been worth it after all. There was some pride in seeing her niece like this too, donning the proud symbol of the house of El.

It was bittersweet, realizing how much she'd missed out on. How Astra'd wanted to see her grow up, to continue teaching her about the universe and its marvels, for things to be peaceful and warm still. Instead there was actual bitterness present too.

It was too much, in between her soulmate and her sister's death once again confirmed and seeing her niece, the daughter of said sister. Astra was tearing at the seams and she knew it, knew she couldn't ignore it, knew fate would be decided right here and now.

If Kara was to remain her enemy, if she was to reveal Fort Rozz was her idea, blood would be shed. Her own blood, may it be from her body or her niece's.

If Astra and her soulmate were to remain on opposite sides, one of them was bound to die in the end. Considering her invulnerability, it would most likely be her mate and not herself.

But if at least one of them would accept her, she knew she would do anything for them. Astra had always been fearless for she'd had nothing to lose, and it would remain that way after the hell she'd gone through in Fort Rozz. Nothing scared her anymore, even if the risks would be increased when she _would_ have something to lose.

"Little One," Astra breathed out, relief and pride eventually taking precedence in the war of her conflicting emotions.

Kara's lips were moving in an attempt to form words, but no sound was coming out. "Y-you died... When..." That was all the girl was able to voice, clearly struggling to comprehend the situation.

Astra shook her head, understanding what her niece was trying to say. "I wasn't on Krypton when it perished," she stated. Some of the anger aimed at Kara was fading now and Astra's voice was much smaller than she'd wanted it to be when she followed up with the question that had been eating at her ever since she first got captured. "You didn't know?"

Her niece shook her head, and Astra could feel a weight fall off her shoulders. Kara hadn't been the mastermind, she was still her little one. For a moment it didn't matter they were opposite sides, right now they were just family.

But then Kara frowned. "I thought you were trying to save Krypton, why weren't you there?"

Astra could hear the pain behind it, knew that tone of feeling betrayed and hated that the truth wouldn't fix that, but she couldn't lie to Kara about this. Not when a bitter anger surfaced at the thought of what happened, which was audible when she spoke. "I was aboard Fort Rozz, banished by your mother for speaking the truth of Krypton's impending doom, for trying to salvage it."

Kara softened at that a little and, sensing the shift in atmosphere, the human agent piped up. "So are you Alura's twin or something? Astra, was it?"

Her mouth twitched, not having been referred to as a twin in a long time, and she turned towards the agent - her soulmate, she reminded herself, and Rao, what had she done to deserve meeting her after all this time - who had managed to sit up properly. She nodded once. "I am General Astra In-Ze, and what is your name?"

For a moment the woman seemed conflicted, as if she weren't sure she should divulge this information. Astra supposed she couldn't blame her, it was much easier to track someone down when you knew their name, but these weren't ordinary circumstances. They weren't simple enemies in war, they were bonded for life under Rao's blessing. She knew the humans valued it as much as they did back on Krypton, even if they believed in a different origin.

"Special Agent Alex Danvers," the human - Alex - answered after a few beats.

Astra smiled lightly at that, an amused sort of smile. She never did quite understand why humans insisted on shortening their name, but she found it endearing in a way. "Short for Alexandra?"

Upon Alex's look of disgust, Astra's amusement merely grew, her smile becoming more of a smirk. She made a mental note to ask about that at a later time, assuming she'd get the chance to. "Yes, but I prefer Alex."

"Alex, then." They should probably address the fact that they were soulmates, about what that meant, about where to go from there.

Some noise outside drew her attention back to the reality of the situation, something that sounded like a battle. Astra could hear the Hellgrammite fire off stingers, and in return she heard the sound of guns being fired.

That couldn't be good. She had to get out of here, before...

"Stay where you are!" The voice of a man boomed through the warehouse.

Before _that_ would happen.

Astra looked at the man who'd barked the order, noting the couple of soldiers behind him, all their guns trained on her. She looked back to Kara, whose gaze was alternating between the agents and Astra, then to Alex, who had tensed up and was looking at the General with hostility, though it was tempered. Even so, it was a harsh reminder that this wasn't a cozy union with her niece and soulmate, that she was their enemy, even when she knew they had the same goal in mind; protecting the humans. They didn't know she didn't have any ill intent, however.

Astra was torn.

She wanted nothing more than stay with her niece, her only remaining family, her blood, to reconnect with her. Kara was everything she had left of Krypton, everything good, that is.

Non and the other Kryptonians were less than kind, hardened by Fort Rozz like she was, but with a lust for blood and a hunger for power. There was a reason they'd ended up in the most secure prison of their galaxy. Many of them had been in that place for years before she arrived there with her husband, for things that weren't done with the greater good in mind. Without her leadership they would resort to plain violence.

But if she were to return to her soldiers, she couldn't appear weak, which meant she wouldn't be able to be with her niece, or get to know her soulmate.

If she didn't continue the Myriad Project however, they wouldn't have a planet to live on in the first place.

But what was life worth if she had to fight against Kara and Alex both?

What Astra needed was time to think, which wasn't something she could do among the convicts. If she surrendered herself to this organization of theirs, her soldiers wouldn't suspect a weakness, she'd have time to think, and she could be near the two women in front of her.

There wasn't anything they could do to hurt or contain her anyway, nothing on this planet was capable of that. Even if they did have something to keep her there, Non would eventually come looking for her and break her out. It wasn't a good backup plan by any means, but she didn't think she'd need one in the first place, so it was good enough.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The woman listened to her surroundings closely, hearing for any nearby soldiers just in case, finding none to her relief; her soldiers would never know that she hadn't even tried to fight.

When she opened them again, Astra rose her hands in surrender slowly. "Do what you must."

The buff dark-skinned man - who seemed to be in charge - approached her then, an odd look on his face, like he knew something about Astra that she didn't. He carried a set of handcuffs with him that looked so fragile in comparison to the cuffs they used on Krypton, that seemed ineffective for they wouldn't attach her hands to her torso. She could still fight in them, choke someone with the bar between the cuffs, they'd hardly be a liability at all.

Not that she was planning to fight, but even so, they shouldn't allow that possibility.

The only thing that stood out was the way they glowed an eerie green color, a color that was associated with poison on this planet. It was slightly unsettling, and Astra noted how she felt heavier the nearer they came to her. So perhaps this organization did have something to weaken her, but it Astra deemed it too late to go back on her word now. She offered her wrists with all the poise of a General, refusing to show the worries that were creeping into her mind.

Astra threw a last glance at Alex and Kara before she was being led out, noting how her niece was worrying over her soulmate and hugging Alex. She wondered what their relationship was; clearly it went beyond being fellow soldiers. Friends or lovers perhaps, the woman figured. Yet another thing to ask about when given the chance to.

She hoped that chance would be soon.

\-----

Back at the DEO, Hank had debriefed Alex on what had happened outside while they apprehended Astra. The Hellgrammite had been captured as well, though he hadn't gone nearly as peacefully as she'd had; two soldiers of the Bravo team had been struck by one of his stingers, though thankfully not in a life-threatening position. They'd shot him with tranquilizers after that and now he was locked in one of the cells like the Kryptonian General was.

The Kryptonian General who she really needed to talk to.

Alex had so many questions, both professional and personal, to ask General Astra. She wondered what was next for them, if this surrender was something that had been part of her plan - whatever that plan was - or if she'd done it because of them being soulmates. She wondered what Hank would think of her if he knew the two of them were mates, if he knew Alex wanted to act on said connection with an alien criminal.

Her guess was that she didn't want to know, and that it was better if he'd never find out. Alex could already imagine being sent to Pam of HR, with the paperwork and seminars that would follow, which was the best case scenario. Worst case she'd be charged with treason and be made to disappear.

No, definitely no telling Hank about this. Besides, she didn't know what Astra wanted to do about this either, which was something she needed to find out first.

Once she'd tended to her wound, she made a beeline for the woman's cell. They'd set her up with Kryptonite emitters on 18%, not deeming it necessary to increase it beyond that. When the doors opened she could see Astra sitting on the bench, her head snapping towards the entrance, and seeming to be pleasantly surprised at seeing Alex there.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon, Alex," Astra spoke. The woman looked down at her injured leg, frowning slightly at it. "Shouldn't you be resting? You are still injured."

Alex shook her head, "Complete recovery takes too long to sit around for, it'll heal like this too." She wondered if Astra had spent any time around living human beings prior to this at all, remembering the earlier comment regarding their fragility.

That wasn't important though, not right now, business before personal matters. Alex straightened, her look hardening as she looks at the General, whose mask fell in place in response. "You were planning to capture Supergirl," the agent stated plainly. "Why?"

"She is my niece. I wanted to see her again."

"Do you always trap people to get their attention?" Alex lifted an eyebrow as she questioned this, almost teasingly. Almost. This was serious business and not the time, after all. "Why not just visit?"

Astra licked her lips and diverted her gaze. "It's complicated."

"That's not an answer."

The General appeared conflicted, and Alex's best guess was that she was weighing her options. It was only a matter of seconds before Astra met her eyes. "My men would overthrow me if I displayed that kind of weakness," she started. "It was a risk I was not willing to take, not at Kara's expense. They wish to kill her as a means of taking revenge on Alura and I cannot let that happen."

Alex frowned. "So, what... You planned to keep her safe by putting her in a cage?"

"If necessary," Astra admitted with a solemn nod. Her voice was softer when she continued, but no less steady. "I had hoped she would side with her family."

Alex swallowed back a growl, wanting to yell at the woman that she was her family, that Kara was her sister, but knew she couldn't do that right now. She needed to keep her cool, couldn't let this get to her, not now. Later with some whiskey, perhaps. "Supergirl _helps_ people, she would never turn against them, let alone kill them."

"That's what you think my plan is? To kill humans?" Astra's voice was filled with disbelief and she shook her head, "I am here to save your planet from the fate Krypton suffered. I do not wish to inflict harm on its inhabitants."

She thought this over, her frown still in place. If she recalled correctly, Krypton had perished due to the core's instability, caused by Kryptonian greed. Kara hadn't told her much about it, hadn't known the details and only remembered that Astra tried to stop it, but Alura's hologram had proven to be a valuable source of information.

"You think Earth is dying." It wasn't a question, but rather a conclusion. The gears in Alex's head were working rapidly, things starting to fall into place.

This wasn't a woman out for blood, even after her time in prison. This was a General who had failed her mission and had possibly seen her planet explode from a distance. This was a woman who likely hadn't been able to deal with that traumatizing experience properly.

"It is," Astra said, sounding so defensive and so sure of herself, only further solidifying her suspicions.

Alex shook her head, "It's not as bad as it was on Krypton, our core is still stable. It's not dying, not yet, but I'll admit we haven't been treating Earth as well as we should, not since the industrial revolution."

The General gave her a look, like Alex had just made her point for her, as if this realization would make her see Astra was right about the planet dying.

"It's not the same," Alex insisted. "We know our ways are damaging the planet and many people are finding alternatives for getting what we want without injuring nature. It's taking some time, but we'll fix it before it's too late, there's still time."

Astra still didn't look convinced, and Alex decided she should provide her with evidence, to truly make the woman see that Earth was still doing alright, that it was only just starting to complain about the mistreatment through global warming (due to the pollution) and superficial earthquakes (due to gas retrieval).

So she did.

Alex fetched one of the tablets to show her anything she wished to know regarding the planet's state and didn't stop until Astra finally did see that Earth wasn't on the very brink of ecological destruction. It was heading there, absolutely, but even at the rate they were going right now the people currently living on this planet wouldn't live to see the day of its destruction, not by a long shot.

By the time she was finished, the General looked both relieved and a little bit lost.

"Thank you for the enlightenment, Alex," Astra said eventually, looking up as she did. The agent could see her defenses were back up completely, like they were back at the start of their conversation. "Is that all you wished to speak of?"

"There is one more thing..." Alex took a steadying breath, trying to convince herself this was just following protocol and not her own curiosity, like there wasn't a small bud of hope waiting for any sign of her soulmate to acknowledge and accept their connection, like said hope couldn't be easily crushed by whatever Astra was about to answer. Like the answer couldn't get her in trouble, because they were very much being watched through multiple cameras. "Why did you surrender yourself?"

Astra looked down at her lap then, pulling at her left sleeve slightly, enough to reveal to Alex that her tattoo was settled there. That the name of the wrong twin was there in a thin, grey, loopy script that looked suspiciously like her own handwriting. When she made an effort to make it look neat, that is.

The General looked up to her then, her face still not giving away anything, save for a light shimmer dancing in her eyes. "You know why."

She gave a nod and a brief smile, which prompted Astra to cover her wrist again. Alex was glad Astra seemed to understand they couldn't talk about this now, which hopefully meant she understood why Alex couldn't show hers in return; it was a lot harder to lift a shirt without drawing attention to it, after all. Her left hand moved to her right side, settling on top of her own tattoo, hoping the woman would get the hint on where it was hiding.

"I think I do," Alex said, before dropping her hand back to her side. "That was all." With that she turned around to leave. There was no reason for Agent Danvers to be near this prisoner any longer.

"Alex."

The woman whipped back around and looked back at Astra questioningly. "Yes?"

"Do you think I could speak with Kara soon?" And oh, the woman's mask came apart completely when she spoke of Kara, her voice not certain and steady like the General's, but soft and insecure. Unsure of whether her niece would want to visit and whether or not the DEO would allow it.

All Alex could do was smile what she hoped would be a reassuring smile. "I'll see what I can do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y'all, Imma need some help with this, because I can't settle on Kara's soulmate. I'm partial to Karolsen because the show did them dirty, but there are so many ships out there that I like too. Heck, I even considered President Marsden as her soulmate, can you imagine? 
> 
> Point being, let me know who you want Kara's soulmate to be, literally anyone is game except for those that are paired up already. (So... Alex/Astra, Alura/Zor-El, Eliza/Jeremiah.) Also not Kara's current canon partner, don't even try, lol
> 
> EDIT: I've come to a decision, but if you still wish to contribute, I'm curious. What's your opinion on Kara having a polygamous relationship?


	4. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The angst isn't quite over yet, I'm afraid, because Kara and Astra have to sort things out between them. There's a lot of baggage that, baggage that goes by the name of Alura, so they try to unpack a little.

When Alex left the woman, Astra had settled to reassess the situation now that it turns out Earth's peril wasn't as great as anticipated. Change was still needed of course, but nothing immediate would be required. Myriad could still prove to be helpful in the path to recovery though, it had uses beyond looking for a quick solution, it could help humanity look for long-term solutions without fear and greed clouding their judgment.

She didn't get to chance to think more on that as her thoughts were soon interrupted by the doors opening again, mere minutes after Alex's departure. Astra was pleased to find it revealed the figure of her niece, a genuine smile lighting up her features. "Kara." Astra stood up and walked towards the glass, getting as close to her little one as she could from her containment unit.

Kara was still dressed in her Supergirl suit, hands clasped together in front of her and fidgeting slightly. Seeing her for the second time today made it obvious that the anger was no longer present, but it was still bittersweet. How her little niece had grown, not so little anymore now; she'd become such a beautiful young woman in the decades they'd spent apart. But mostly Astra was happy to see her again, especially without the restriction of onlooking Fort Rozz escapees.

"Aunt Astra..." Kara says and her voice is so small, like they're right back on Krypton where they left off, like things are as simple as them being a family and Astra's returned to stay with her and all is well. "I can't believe it's really you, I... I've missed you. So much."

"I've missed you too, Little One." It's not the whole truth - it's ignoring the time spent hating her and blaming her for what happened - but it's not a lie either; Astra had missed her niece more than anyone or anything else in this universe. Even when she'd fooled herself into believing she didn't.

"Alex told me you were there because you wanted to see me. You've been here over a decade, why now? Why didn't you..." Kara's voice cracks then and oh, what Astra wouldn't give to hug her in that moment. If she could she'd burst through those reinforced glass walls, but she can feel how much she's weighed down here - it has to be due to that green light, she has yet to ask about it - and deems it futile to try.

Instead she settles for reaching out a hand and places it against the glass. "I didn't know you were here, and I wasn't certain when I saw you on the news." Again it's only a half-truth and Astra isn't sure how much more she should say. She wants to tell Kara everything, has never been one to keep the truth from her, but she also doesn't want to ruin whatever good they have right now. Doesn't want to hurt Kara more than she has already.

Kara seems to notice her hesitation however. "What aren't you telling me? Please, aunt Astra, just tell me everything, secrets don't help anyone."

Astra swallows roughly, bracing herself. She can't deny Kara this, because she's at least partially right; secrets, even kept for someone's protection, will always end up hurting people. Her hand dropped back to her side. "I didn't know you were here, but I was hoping you were. I made your mother promise to get you to safety and after much deliberation, we'd decided Earth would be best."

"You told Mother to send me away?" There's anger and hurt hiding in the astonishment of Kara's voice. It's not an accusation, not completely, but it might as well be, because Kara has been alone after Krypton's destruction when she didn't have to be.

"I'd hoped she would come with you, that it would be reason enough to save herself," Astra said, shaking her head sadly. She tried not to think of Alura too much, letting it be a passing thought, keeping her focus on Kara. Thinking of Alura would only serve to anger her and Kara was hurting enough as is, she did not need to deal with that too. "I'm sorry she didn't, Little One. I never meant for you to be alone."

Kara's eyes were watering and she closed them, likely in an attempt to keep them from falling. She wiped them out of the way and Astra could see her swallow before she opened them again. "So if you suspected I was here, why didn't you come look for me?"

Astra bit her lip briefly and looked down to her feet. For the first time in a long time the woman felt something akin to fear, fear of the unknown parts of that fateful day that Kara might be able to fill in. If she explained this to her, it would undoubtedly come up. With a last steeling breath, Astra looked back at her niece. "There are two reasons. I could not leave the other prisoners of Fort Rozz unattended, they would tear this planet apart if they had no purpose, and it would be a massacre on both sides. So I seized control. There are still casualties, but it's kept to a minimum."

Her niece nodded. "And the other reason?"

"The other reason is far less honorable." She sighed. "I've... been blaming you for things that happened a long time ago. I was angry, I thought you helped your mother set up a trap to imprison me." At Kara's look of confusion, Astra continued. "That night when you summoned me with the spy-beacon, that's when she caught me. Was it your idea to message me?" The General wasn't certain she wished to know this, but the uncertainty has been eating at her for far too long; she needed to know. "Or was it Alura's?"

If Astra wanted to hold her niece before, that urge was nothing compared to this moment here. She wished she could take away the hurt that appeared on her little one's face; it told her enough, Kara didn't have to answer the question, it was clear that it hadn't been Alura's idea and that Kara realized this now. The same realization she'd had when she first thought of it being a trap rather than an opportunity taken.

Astra couldn't help the anger that flared now, anger aimed at her long-dead sister yet again, this time not for imprisoning her, but for hurting Kara this way. For being too stubborn to save her own life and not thinking of how it would affect her daughter if she weren't there by her side. For using Kara and making her take part in capturing their own blood. Perhaps it hadn't been easy for Alura either, but she had made the decision herself and had not only hurt her sister but her own daughter in the process.

That was unacceptable.

If the woman hadn't been dead already, Astra would have strangled her. She still wanted to and became acutely aware of the deceased woman's name on her wrist. How often she'd wanted to get rid of it, but hadn't been able to due to either the lack of opportunity or her Kryptonian invulnerability here on Earth. Her right hand covered her left wrist reflexively, nails digging into the fabric on top of her skin.

That mark also made her think of Alex now though, it was no longer simply a reminder of her dead sister. Rao had brought her to her soulmate, through her family no less; it being tied to the person who'd betrayed her was a small price to pay.

"Just because she suggested it doesn't have to mean..." Kara's voice drew her out of her thoughts. She didn't finish her sentence, didn't seem to be able to, couldn't believe this newly revealed side of the woman she'd admired and loved. "She couldn't have... Could she?"

Astra took a steadying breath, trying to swallow down her hatred and bitterness for Kara's sake. Seeing her niece like this pained her; the woman wanted to make it better, not worse. Before she could think of something to say however, Kara looked back at her with that same pained anger.

Somehow it hurt less to see that anger directed at her than it did when it was aimed at Alura.

"And you," she started, crossing her arms over the symbol on her chest. "I understand you couldn't leave, but you could have at least let me know you were alive. You didn't even have to visit me, you could have told Kal-El to relay the message, just..." Kara threw her arms to the side in frustration, "anything!"

Well, that confirmed Superman was Kal-El, at least. Never mind that they'd been trying to stay off Superman's radar for a reason; he was sure to interfere with their business if he'd known there were other Kryptonians here.

Even so, her niece had a point that Astra could not argue. "I should have and I'm sorry I didn't, Kara. If I'd known..." The woman cut herself off and shook her head, a self-deprecating smile flashing as she did so. Whether or not she thought Alura was with her didn't matter; this wasn't about the girl having been alone, this was about Kara thinking her aunt was dead when she wasn't. "There are no excuses to justify the decisions I've made. All I can do is hope for your forgiveness."

Kara moved towards her cell quickly despite the Kryptonite, and for a moment Astra thought she was going to try to break through the glass, to try and hurt her after all the pain she'd caused, and frankly Astra wouldn't have blamed her for it. She would have deserved it, there was nothing she could do to make up for this, nothing she could do to take it away.

But when she looked at her niece's face she saw the anger had melted away, that only the hurt was left in tearful eyes, and all Kara did was place a hand against the glass like Astra had done before. The sight of her little one breaking down broke her heart all over again. "Oh, Little One..." Astra whispered, placing her own hand against Kara's. She internally cursed the glass for being in their way, for not being able to feel the touch, for _Kara_ not being able to feel it.

"When I first came to Earth," Kara starts, choking back a sob. "All I wanted was my family back. I kept hoping another pod would land here eventually. I mean, I was late, so maybe they got lost in space too." She shakes her head, sniffling and seeming to compose herself a little more, successfully so. "Until I finally accepted that all of you died on Krypton, and that my family was here on Earth now."

A silence falls, the weight of their past heavy in the air. Astra finds herself wishing she was still part of Kara's family, not just bound by blood but actually being a family. She knows wouldn't have changed what she'd done if she could go back however, perhaps with the exception of telling Kara she was still alive.

It was clear to Astra that her niece loved her human family, if the way Kara calmed down by thinking of them was any indication. A sparkle had returned to her eyes, one that wasn't caused by unshed tears, and Astra was at least glad she'd had a home to return to here. "Will you tell me about them?"

Kara turns to look at Astra then, really look at her, and quite honestly it unnerves Astra slightly to see her niece look at her like that. Like she's searching for any ill intent, and there's a pang in her chest when Kara ends up frowning. "I'm not sure I should..."

It's not a no, and Astra realizes why it isn't a yes when Kara glances at one of the ceiling corners, the one that contains a security camera; she's a prisoner here and Kara is right not to trust her completely. Knowledge of Kara's family could be used against her, should it get out in the open somehow. Astra shakes her head lightly, "You don't have to reveal their identities, Little One, I understand that's unwise. I simply wish to know what they are like."

It goes unsaid that Astra wants to know what she's missed out on in Kara's life, that she wants to know if they've treated her better than she could have, had she decided to leave Fort Rozz in favor of finding her niece. That she wants to know if Kara's been happy.

If it distracts her from thinking of Alura and what she'd done to them, that's an added bonus.

Kara nodded, smiling, before she starts telling Astra about the family that took her in. She speaks of a woman she views a mother figure, how she'd first tried to call her mother, but that it had been so strange and uncomfortable that even the woman herself had noticed and reassured her that she could just refer to her by her first name. Alura isn't mentioned, she doesn't have to be; they both know who that title really belonged to, even after all those years.

They've been apart from the woman longer than they'd been with her by now, and it's not that thought that unsettles Astra as much as the fact that she had spent more time being angry at her sister than she'd spent loving her.

Thirty-seven long years.

Astra forced herself out of those thoughts, listening instead to her niece talking, who was now speaking of her own older sister. The words are fondly spoken, telling Astra about the mischief they'd gotten into and how her sister always seemed to get most of the blame for it, despite Kara's insistence of it being her idea, and how protective her sister was of her even now.

Kara was perking up the more she spoke of the woman, and Astra found herself smiling as she listened. She was glad to hear her niece had someone like that in her life, someone who Kara clearly admired and who cared for Kara. Perhaps one day she could meet this woman and express her gratitude personally.

There was an ever-present undertone of wistfulness however, and Astra wondered if that would ever fade when it came to her niece.

Somewhere during the conversation they'd changed from standing to sitting opposite each other, both in similar cross-legged positions. Astra hadn't consciously registered it until a silence fell, after Kara had told about her foster mother's soulmate who had passed away.

The woman's mark hadn't changed upon his death, but not everyone's does. She couldn't imagine what life must be like after being bonded and losing your mate after many years blissfully spent together.

Astra wonders if she'll find out, considering her mate is a human: so much more fragile.

She wonders if Kara will find out.

"Little One, have you found your soul bond yet?" Astra questions, erasing the heavy tension that had accompanied the silence. And oh, that is interesting, Kara's hand wanders to the back of her left shoulder; it tells Astra enough to know she's at least gotten her mark. She wonders if her niece had gotten it during the year she missed on Krypton, or if she'd gotten in after it was already gone, like herself. If her mate is human like her own, or if it's some other species that wanders this planet.

The General sincerely hopes it's not one of the former inmates of Fort Rozz. She knows her soldiers, she knows their soul bonds and what happened to them, knows it can't be one of them, but there are more prisoners out there that she doesn't know beyond name and species.

"Not yet," Kara answers, and she taps lightly on her shoulder with her fingers. "But the tattoo appeared about two years ago, when I started working at Ca-" Kara's eyes widen comically and her hand moves to cover her mouth instead. She takes a breath to compose herself and drops it to her side, before correcting whatever she was about to say. "When I started working my current job."

"May I see it?"

"Oh, I..." Kara shifts and lowers her suit from her left shoulder, exposing the back to her aunt. "It was kind of warm when it appeared? Like I was sunbathing, it doesn't really say much, but... I like it."

And on her shoulder there was a sentence written in auburn letters, a neat cursive, though a less loopy version of it. "Hey, it's nice to meet you, Kara" is what it reads, and it eases Astra's mind. Whoever Kara's mate is, they likely hear of her before actually meeting her, and the sentence sounds friendly enough, too informal to be said by any bitter Fort Rozz prisoner.

It also appears to be a simple start to their relationship, unlike hers and Alex's. At least Kara isn't likely to be forced to fight her bond.

Kara covers her shoulder back up and smirks slightly, grinning as she speaks. "So have you met yours?"

Despite decades spent without a mark, Kara doesn't seem to doubt she has one now, and Astra wonders if she'd done anything to give it away. She mentally checks the position of her body to see if her hand had wandered to her left wrist without her consent, but finds both hands situated in her lap like before.

Before Astra could respond, the main entrance opened up, drawing both their attention. It revealed Alex, who seems surprised at the scene laid out before her, and Astra found she didn't mind the interruption too much. If anything it was welcome; this wasn't the place to tell Kara about her soulmate after all, nor the time, and showing Alura's name would probably reveal too much by itself.

Alex looked at Astra first, and she could feel the agent seizing her up more than she could see it, before looking at Kara. "I hate to interrupt, but Kara, it's getting late, don't you have that _thing_ to get to?"

Kara's eyes light up in recognition and she frantically scrambles to her feet. "The thing, right!" Her voice is rather high-pitched and for a second Astra is glad her hearing is impaired with this strange radiation - she really needs a name for it - or she's certain she would have cringed. "She's gonna kill him if I'm late," her niece mutters, and Astra doesn't need her super-hearing to understand.

Supergirl is already walking out of the room, when she seems to remember something and turns back to her aunt. "I'll be back soon, I just... Really have to do this thing."

Astra does wonder what this thing that's got her niece so scrambled is, but smiles rather than ask about it. "It's alright, Little One, go. I'm not going anywhere." Astra's smile turns a little wry when she realizes what she's said, gesturing to her cell. No, she really isn't going anywhere, even if she hadn't meant it this literally. "Obviously."

Her niece gives her a sympathetic smile. Then she appears to remember her obligations and moves to get back into motion, but Alex puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her first. "Meet me back here when you're done, I have something to show you," she announces softly, just loud enough for Astra to make out - though she probably shouldn't have been able to - and Kara nods her assent before rushing out of the room.

"Alex," Astra calls, Alex turning to her and raising a questioning eyebrow. "Thank you, for letting me speak with Kara."

Alex grins her amusement, scoffing out a soft laugh. "Oh that wasn't me, I couldn't have stopped her if I tried. She was very eager to see you."

Astra has to smile at this too, glad to hear her niece hadn't changed much in that regard, despite the years that had gone by. After reconnecting with her today, Astra is hopeful. "Must you also attend this... _thing_?" Her tone is teasing and there's a slight grin on her face; for once it's playful rather than a condescending intimidation tactic.

"No." The agent's voice trails off as she says this, and Astra can see her glancing at the camera in contemplation, much like Kara had done earlier.

It reminds her of the more intimate moment the two of them had shared in the warehouse, when Astra got taken away, the touching and worrying, and once again she wonders what their relationship is. Somehow she doubts she'll get an honest answer if she were to ask now.

But she mostly wonders if Alex wants to stay as much as Astra wants her to stay. Alex is under no obligation to stay, if anything she is undoubtedly encouraged to leave by protocols. Is she wondering if anyone is watching the camera feeds, or is she wondering if it's worth the risk?

The silence lingers for a few more seconds, seconds that feel like eons to Astra, and then Alex finally breaks it and looks back at her. "What was the military life like on Krypton? Did you have to go off-planet often?"

Astra smiles then - something that seems to be a frequent thing around both her soulmate and her niece - and starts enlightening Alex on the subject. "Like this planet, we were stationed on Krypton most commonly, but there were many missions that required us to travel elsewhere-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for helping me out on deciding who to pair Kara up with, counting all votes (including ones from tumblr & friends) it ended up in a tie, and well, I'm sure you can figure out who I ultimately chose :P 
> 
> This scene kind of escalated, I had another one planned, but sometimes the characters just don't do what you want them to do and you have to roll with it. I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless, thoughts are always welcome \o/


	5. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex shows Kara her surprise, Astra does some thinking, and the Danvers sisters talk, pretty much.

Astra and Alex talked for the better part of an hour. Astra spoke of the military life very factually, revealing nothing personal save the odd success story that had earned her a reputation and the rank of General, in the end. Alex had been hoping to get to know the woman better when she'd asked initially and while it wasn't exactly what she'd expected, she found herself intrigued nonetheless, eager to learn more of what life on Krypton was like.

Kara had only been able to tell her so much, she'd only been a child at the time after all, whereas Astra had been an adult, had an actual life she'd lost. Krypton's ways had been her life for decades; her time on Earth had only been a fraction of that while not having a need for adapting to their ways.

While Kal-El grew up with humans and Kara had assimilated for the most part, Astra, for all intents and purposes, was still completely Kryptonian.

It was pleasant to listen to the stories the woman was telling, and Alex could understand why the military woman had risen through the ranks as quickly as she had. Even when keeping in mind that Krypton was more focused on performance than time of service, being 32 when getting promoted to a General is very impressive. Alex doesn't doubt that if the woman hadn't surrendered, they'd be in for one hell of a war.

They still could be.

Much as Alex would like to believe it's all going to work out now, friendly and peaceful as Astra seemed to be, they couldn't be certain of her alignment. The part of her that had been trained by the DEO reminded her constantly of the fact that this could be a trap, reminded her of the words spoken before Astra had known she was talking to her soulmate, of how fragile she considered humans to be and likely didn't perceive them as a threat. That she couldn't be trusted, that they should anticipate a counter attack.

Yet Alex wasn't worried about that. Everything about Astra's body language told her she was being genuine, that this wasn't planned, that she was here for Alex and Kara and not because of some plan. It's why the agent was here, listening, against all better judgment.

When Astra finished her latest story - rescuing countless civilians from being slaughtered by an army of Icroigs without shedding any blood on either side - and a moment of silence fell, Alex checked her watch. "Oh, crap, I should go."

"Kara, of course," Astra acknowledges, prompting Alex to look back at her. "And what exactly is your connection to my niece?"

The agent really, really shouldn't answer this question honestly, shouldn't even consider it, yet she does entertain the thought. This is definitely the kind of intel you should not give your enemy, even if they are your soulmate, but Astra already knows they are close, that much is clear by the look on her face.

No, even keeping that in mind she shouldn't, so she doesn't. Alex stands up from where she'd taken Kara's place - cross-legged on the floor - and tries to seem casual as she shrugs. "We work together."

Astra scoffs lightly, a grin passing over her face briefly, and for a moment Alex thinks she's going to argue, because it's blatantly obvious the woman doesn't believe that's all there is to it. "Thought so," she says instead. "You better not keep her waiting."

Alex gives a nod, turns to walk out, opens the door, and widens her eyes upon seeing Kara leaning against the wall next to the door. She's not entirely sure what to make of her sister's expression, but she thinks there's an amused twinkle in her eyes. "Have you been standing there for long?"

"Just a few minutes." Kara shrugs and pushes off the wall, walking towards the door opening where Alex is still standing. "Don't worry, it's not like I could hear anything with that Kryptonite." She teases.

Of course, the Kryptonite, there is no way for Kara to user her super-senses in that room. The radiation would go through the walls, although dampened, and the only way to prevent that would be lining the walls with lead, which would still mean it was impossible to hear what was happening inside.

Alex isn't sure why she was worried about it in the first place, she hadn't said anything that she couldn't pass off as interest in Krypton rather than the woman herself. She shakes her head and closes the door, but not before Kara waved at her aunt, and if her smile is anything to go by, the gesture is reciprocated.

Then she headed in the direction of the room she was going to show Kara, gesturing for Kara to follow her. "How did the interview go?" Alex asked on the way there.

Kara looks a bit sheepish when Alex looks at her, and that's already not a lot of great news. On top of that the hero's voice is a lot more squeaky than usually, which only really happens when she messed something up. "It went fine! You know how Ms. Grant can be."

Alex sighs. "That's what I'm afraid of, Kara. What did she manage to pry out of you?"

"Nothing!" Alex throws her a stern look and Kara winces. "Or maybe Superman being my cousin might have slipped out?"

Groaning, Alex turns the corner. There was no doubt in her mind that this could cause extra trouble, as the man of steel had made quite some enemies along the way that would happily focus on a weaker target, or rather, a more inexperienced one. "That's it, no more interviews for you. I don't care if James begs you to, next time the answer is no."

She pouts, but at least Kara has the decency not to argue with that as she changes the subject. "So where are you taking me?"

They round one last corner and come to a halt in front of a reinforced sealed door with an electrical panel attached to it. "It's something I've been working on. Your cousin has been able to commune with his ancestors in the Fortress of Solitude, and well... See for yourself." Alex gestures towards the panel, "It'll only open for you."

Kara frowns slightly, confusion clearly written on her face, but she obliges and presses her hand to the panel to open the door. It slips open silently and reveals a room tinged in blue and her sister enters, Alex following quietly. In the middle of the room is a hologram.

A hologram of Alura.

"Mom?" There are many emotions in her voice, there's some hurt, confusion, and anger, but there's also some hope. Mostly Kara sounds stunned however, and it shows in the way she stays back.

The AI smiles, and sounds surprisingly warm when she speaks. Like it's a recording rather than a programmed holographic interface. "Hello, Kara."

Kara makes a choked noise, before she takes a breath and turns to Alex. "I don't understand." It sounds more like a question than a statement, and Alex hears the unspoken questions in it. _How is she here? What is this thing?_

"The message in your pod, it was part of an interactive artificial intelligence program, one that's called from living memory." Alex explains quickly, and some of the confusion in her sister's eyes fades. "It's not really her, but... It's close."

Hologram Alura jumps in with her own explanation. "Kara, I have been programmed to offer you assistance here on Earth. You may ask me anything you would ask Alura."

And she had been. There wasn't a whole lot Alex had to do, all the elements needed had already been written in the code as far as she (and Hank) could tell, it was just a matter of assembling it without the instructions on how to do it properly. It had taken her longer than she'd hoped for to do so, and even now Alex wonders how much better it would have functioned if a Kryptonian had done it rather than her.

Kara looks torn on whether to approach the AI or not, and Alex can practically feel how overwhelmed she is. Tears are welling up in her eyes, but her fists are clenching at her sides. "You know everything my mother knows?"

"Yes."

"Then tell me about Aunt Astra. Did you use me to draw her out of hiding?"

Alex's eyes widen slightly, only hearing this now. She'd been watching the security feeds of their talk in the beginning to make sure Astra wasn't a threat, but had left the audio off, unwilling to invade her sister's privacy. She'd seen some anger, but when that and the tears had gone, so had she, leaving them to their own accord while they seemed to reconnect. Alex hadn't had the chance yet to ask what they'd been talking about.

"Yes."

That was clearly the wrong answer, because Kara's fists clench harder and she's definitely approaching the AI now, but it's all aggression. "Why? How could you do that?"

"Astra had broken the law. You were the only person she trusted enough to meet. It was necessary."

Kara seemed ready to throttle her, and frankly, Alex didn't blame her, she was ready to have a piece of Alura herself. Alex knew how much Kara had loved her mother, still did, and how much it hurt her that Alura hadn't come with her to Earth. It hadn't put the woman in her good graces, abandoning her child, but this took it to a whole new level.

She hadn't just sent her own sister to prison - something Alex knew she wouldn't be able to do, she knew she'd try to help Kara escape should something pop up, would run away with her if it was necessary - she'd used her daughter to do so. Who does such a thing? Why would anyone turn against their own family in such a way, especially a family that sounded so happy and close?

"Could she have saved us?" There was a desperation in Kara's voice now.

Alura didn't exactly give it an answer, once again making Alex wonder what kind of woman she was. "She was a criminal."

"But was she right?"

"I am not programmed to give you that information."

"Tell me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm not programmed to give you that information."

This wouldn't go anywhere, so Alex started to move towards the control panel to shut it down if necessary, which it likely would be, because Kara's anger was still increasing. She was proven right when the Kryptonian continued.

"You let everyone that I love die! You left me! You left me alone! You sent me away! How could you do that?!"

It was good that Kara's anger was getting a release, but it pained Alex greatly to see her sister like this. She couldn't imagine this kind of pain, even after years trying to do so. The sorrow of a lost world. Alex waited for a moment to see how the AI responded, and promptly shut it off when it continued to inform Kara she hadn't been programmed to answer those questions, when Kara lost it and raged, screaming and burning.

Alex is by her side quickly, hugging her from behind so the heat vision couldn't reach her. "Hey, hey, hey. It's not really her."

Kara's heat vision subsides in favor of turning and curling into Alex, sobbing lightly. "She lied to me."

She shakes her head, holding Kara tightly and rubbing her back. "I'm so sorry, Kara."

They stood there hugging for a while longer, Alex just letting her sister cry as much as she needed to. She hadn't anticipated this when taking her here. Of course she knew Kara was likely to ask questions about why she'd been left here, but didn't think the intelligence would refuse to give her answers of any personal nature.

When the sniffles and tears started to subside Alex pulled back, holding onto her upper arms instead. "How about we go home and get some potstickers and ice cream? My treat."

"That sounds good."

\-----

When the two younger women left, Astra was alone at last. She reveled in the earlier conversations, letting them warm her a little longer. The way Kara had lit up like this planet's night sky when she spoke of her time spent with her human family, the fact that she wanted to see her at all; it almost felt like forgiveness. Astra wasn't naive enough to think it would be that simple, it never was and frankly she didn't think she was deserving of it, but it was something and she was grateful for it.

And then Alex, her dear soulmate, how she'd lingered. The way she'd smiled at her stories reminded her of Kara when she'd been younger - when Astra'd tell her niece of her adventures - while simultaneously being nothing like it at all. Kara's smile was more like the yellow sun, bright and warm and beaming, while Alex's wasn't quite as beaming, didn't assault the senses to where it was too much, but no less warm.

Alex's smile was like Rao's light.

Astra smiled at that thought, of the woman reminding her of home, of the good and beautiful parts that had still been left. She shook her head at herself when she caught herself comparing the woman to the beautiful sunrises she'd watch during her early exercises, feeling too much like those adolescent humans so often portrayed in films. She was a General of Krypton, not some lovestruck teenager.

She needed to strategize, to figure out what she wanted, now that she finally had the chance to think and process the new information Alexandra had given her about Earth's state. It was still very much headed for destruction, but still in the beginning stages. If she could make the humans see what needed to change and make them change it, Astra could prevent the untimely destruction from happening. Every planet died at some point, but there was no reason for Earth to do so just yet, not with their young and healthy sun.

It would be so easy to accomplish with Myriad, she could give the humans the courage to make the necessary changes to get it off this destructive path, could teach them what to keep an eye on and how to act before any drastic actions were needed.

_Your monstrous plan would have deprived people of their very freedom._ Alura's voice echoed through her head, not for the first time during these past 37 years, and Astra sighed. Loathe as she is to admit it, Alura had been right about that part, or at least would be this time. Back on Krypton it would have been worth it, their last resort, but here on Earth there was no such reason to justify it.

_There is always another way._ Alura's voice reminds her, and Astra thinks of Alex and how different she'd been from what she knew of humans. If there were other humans like her out there, she was sure she could reach them without needing to control their minds. Many different methods that were far less invasive came to mind in an instant, and it was enough to convince her there was no need for Myriad here.

Astra moved a thumb beneath her sleeve to rub her mark absently. She pulled the fabric aside when she noticed what she was doing, looking at it for the first time since it had tingled in the warehouse. Astra was surprised to find it didn't look the same as it had before. Whereas first they were thick black lines - standing out harshly like burns more so than a simple pigment change - they were now much thinner and more a dark gray color, far less aggressive, instead looking like most marks she'd seen.

Looking at her mark's change, she thinks she'd made her decision on this matter the moment Alex said her sister's name, solidifying it when the General had decided to surrender rather than flee. All she's ever wanted is a home with her family and now that there is an opportunity to get it, she's not going to let that chance slip from her grasp.

\-----

"Switch."

Alex passed her tub of ice cream - Chocolate Therapy - to Kara, who in turn passed her own tub of Ben & Jerry's - Milk & Cookies. She'd let Kara pick their flavors tonight, whereas usually they'd each pick one, and Alex couldn't say she complained about her choices. When they got to Kara's apartment the potstickers were ordered immediately and the TV had come on just as quickly; there happened to be a Friends marathon, which was the perfect distraction.

They'd first watched in silence, Alex not sure what to say and Kara not seeming to want to talk about her mother any more than she'd wanted to when they were kids. That silence had been broken when Kara'd eaten her 5th potsticker, teasing coming easily after that and relieving the tension that had been hanging around them like a dark cloud. Kara'd managed to eat the last one of course, though this time Alex hadn't put up much of a fight, one of her sister's pouts enough to give in.

Kara was looking at her now like she was searching for something, and that same mischief that danced in her eyes back at the DEO after Alex'd talked to Astra was in her eyes now.

Alex narrows her eyes, "What?"

"Just wondering," Kara says, sounding oh so innocent, which only served to make Alex narrow her eyes even further. "You and my aunt seemed cozy."

Alex scrunches up her nose at the reminder of their familial connections. Technically there was nothing, Astra wasn't _her_ aunt, but it's still weird to think about her soulmate being her sister's aunt. At least it's better than who she'd initially thought the woman to be, an aunt she could deal with, Kara's mother she's not certain she could handle.

There's also the issue of them being enemies for the moment, but outside of the DEO she didn't have to worry about that. Or rather she forced herself not to think about it.

Alex takes a steeling breath before looking directly at her sister, who didn't seem bothered by the idea of them being 'cozy'. That was the only reason she's gathering the courage to say this, because she's already messed one thing up for Kara today and she didn't want to add this complication to the list. "She's my soulmate."

She watches a grin creep up Kara's face, eyes lighting up until she's flat out beaming. "I knew it!"

Alex frowns; out of all responses she'd imagined, this was not one of them. "What do you mean you knew it?"

Kara just laughs. "Alex, you've been my sister for twelve years. You got kidnapped and I saw the way you looked at her, how she looked at you, it wasn't hard to figure out."

Blinking, Alex makes a mental note not to underestimate Kara's intelligence and perceptiveness again. They did theorize abduction was the most likely to happen with the sentence that had appeared on her side, and while she knows she played it subtle back in the warehouse, of course Kara would be able to see right through her.

Perhaps the lack of hostility in the situation, until Hank showed up, had been a dead giveaway too.

She closes her eyes briefly, shaking her head, before looking back at Kara. "So you're not weirded out by this?"

"I mean, it's a little strange to think about, but it's not like you get to pick who it is, and I'm happy both of you found your soulmate." Kara scrunches up her nose, "Please spare me the details, though."

Alex snorts. "That I can do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was one day. One. Day. Things should speed up now, I think, I hope, I swear I'm still writing this by the end of the year if it doesn't speed up. Let me know what you think, I hope you enjoyed this!


	6. Keeping Up With The Kryptonians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Middle Of The Story as told from Astra's POV, alternatively called filler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, it's taken a little longer than I'd like, but! It's a little longer than usual too, and I finally finished it. I couldn't wait to share this when I was about halfway, so yeah, finally, hah.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy, and remember, you're stuck with me :)

Astra was, frankly, bored out of her mind. There wasn't much to do in this fish tank of a cell but think, much like Fort Rozz, though now there were things to distract her from the chaos of her mind, unlike back then. Now she occasionally gets visitors, may it be a guard to bring her food, or someone who is actually there to talk.

That, especially, was the biggest difference between here and Fort Rozz; there were people she could talk to, actually talk to. It wasn't diplomacy in an attempt to make an alliance for a mutual increase in security, it wasn't intimidation to get others off her back, nor was it a manipulation of emotions to get information. It wasn't seduction to distract from the fact that she might as well be powerless in comparison to her adversary, it wasn't carefully planned out words to keep up a facade she no longer cared for to remain in charge of the situation.

It was just talking, the way others were able to speak, of the weather and the news, of thoughts and feelings. No ulterior motives, nothing beyond genuine care, curiosity, and entertainment. It had been strange to adjust to that again, and she can't say she did get used to it, but it's getting easier.

The first person to visit after the day of her arrest had been Director Henshaw, though entirely for professional purposes, of course. He'd been there to interrogate her, to learn of her plans and anything he could possibly learn about the other Fort Rozz escapees. Astra'd admittedly been disappointed at first, she had hoped Alex would do the inquisition now that she was willing to share things that mattered, but speaking to the man in charge had turned out to be almost pleasant.

Almost. It had been incredibly uncomfortable to expose herself without it being an exchange of sorts, she had to _trust_ it was the right path to take to not be locked up for the rest of her life. By Rao, never again, one life-sentence was more than enough.

So she'd told him about Myriad, to show she no longer posed a threat. If she didn't trust anyone but herself to control the mind controlling device, well, that wasn't relevant information. What was relevant however was that about a hundred others were still going to want to implement this system and needed their General to do it.

Astra wasn't stupid; she knew this system was bound to be used for less than honorable things when given the chance, so she was the only one with access to it. Non wasn't stupid either however, so she didn't doubt he'd be able to find a way around it eventually, but it would take time.

Once satisfied with the information on her former plans and men, the Director had shifted the conversation somehow to her current intentions, mainly towards Kara. It would have been simple enough if it weren't for the way he'd chosen his words, and Astra'd had the distinct impression he'd been referring to Alex at times. It felt oddly like one of those conversations she believed the humans called a 'shovel talk', and once again she'd found herself wondering about what connection the agent had to the people around her.

The woman in question visited her the next consecutive days, still attempting to justify being there beyond simply wanting to be there. Astra wondered for whose benefit that was, if it was an excuse to give her Director, or if she wasn't convinced she should be commuting with an intergalactic criminal that wasn't even her own species. She knew of the xenophobia of humans, and while Alexandra didn't appear to be judgmental, it was entirely possible she was simply good at hiding her disdain.

Astra shook her head at that thought; that was implausible, all things considered. Justifications aside, Alex had clearly been trying to bond with her during those evenings. Earth had been the dominating topic of their conversations, Alex finding out what Astra knew of the planet and had experienced, while Astra got a more human outlook on what the world was like. Despite still not being particularly fond of the creatures, Astra found she actually enjoyed that part.

Kara visited her too, only slightly less frequently than Alex. It was two days after her surrender that her niece come to speak with her, rather enthusiastically.

 

_"Aunt Astra! I found her!"_

_The doors had barely opened when her niece came barging in, beaming in that way she used to when she was younger. It didn't take much to figure out what Kara was talking about and Astra found her own heart swelling right along with her little one. "You have found your mate?"_

_Kara nodded rapidly, "Yes! She's amazing, she's gorgeous, she's smart, and she smells nice..."_

_Astra smiled, "I am so happy for you, Kara. Tell me, did your mark respond to her? Did hers?"_

_Her niece was more than happy to answer her and practically told her every detail of their dinner date. Astra was content to sit back and listen with a smile that could almost rival Kara's. It was nice to hear Kara gush over her soulmate, about how the woman's laugh spiked her heart rate, how her heart was in the right place and how she could 'kick some serious ass', and once again about how nice the woman smelled. It reminded her of home apparently, of a certain beverage Kara had loved as a child. As an answer to her actual question, Kara told her that her own mark did respond to the other - still unnamed - woman's words, but that hers hadn't responded to Kara, which Astra had reassured wasn't uncommon._

_Once she was seemingly done with her own story, ending with a wistful sigh, Kara looked back at her aunt. "So what about you? Have you found your mate here?"_

_There was a glint in her eyes that gave Astra pause, a sparkle she couldn't quite place. Mischief, perhaps?_

_At her pause however, Kara chimed in again, a little more frantic this time. "I know you didn't have a mark on Krypton, I just thought that, maybe, since it's been a while, you'd have gotten your mark too?"_

_Astra had to smile at that, reminded of her niece's faith even back then, of the girl's insistence that she would get her mark too eventually. That her soul-bond simply couldn't form yet for some reason, but that it would. Kara'd thought of so many reasons why her bond was delayed, having researched it as much as Astra had when she'd still cared. One of those reasons, while being cringeworthy at the time, had been correct; her mate hadn't been born yet. "It's alright, Little One, you were right, I've gotten my mark."_

_"Can I see it?"_

_If it were anyone else, Astra wouldn't show it, wouldn't even give it a thought, but she'd never been great at denying her niece anything. So she'd pulled her sleeve aside and showed her. Unlike Kara a few days ago, she didn't say anything, rather remaining silent._

_Kara's eyes widened briefly at seeing her mother's name there, before she bit her lip. For a moment Astra feared she'd burst into tears, her shoulders shaking lightly, but then it became obvious she was refraining from laughing._

_Astra frowned at that and yanked the fabric back over her mark roughly. "Why does this amuse you?"_

_Kara closed her eyes and let out a chuckle, before she composed herself, likely enough to talk. "I'm sorry, I can't say, but you'll find out."_

 

Astra'd had the distinct feeling afterwards that Kara knew more about her soulmate than she did, somehow. Alex and her niece were certainly close, she'd suspected it before, but hadn't known to what capacity. She hadn't spoken of anything personal with Kara after that.

Usually - unlike the conversations with her soulmate - the main subject of their talks was Krypton. Things Kara hadn't experienced or didn't remember properly, legends of their lost world, and any other good things to be remembered. It was more pleasant than she'd expected; the glass walls surrounding her were easy to ignore during these moments where it was just Kara speaking with her Aunt Astra, to ignore the weight that burdened them still. Easy to ignore the bad memories that haunted her at night by remembering Krypton fondly rather than angrily.

It didn't keep away the night terrors, though. They'd returned with a vengeance after speaking of Alura again. The first night in this cell had been the worst, though the other nights had hardly been better.

Memories of Krypton plagued her, of finding out the planet was on the verge of destruction, of the unwillingness of the High Council to change, of their indecision that had quite literally gotten them killed. Of visiting Kara and being arrested by Alura, trapped by her own blood, of standing in the citadel with Non, watching him get beamed away and dreading what would come next. Of looking at Alura's face in those final moments, of the touch of her hand, one she couldn't bear, of the final 'I love you' she didn't return.

Memories of Fort Rozz, of the loneliness of that cell, the isolation of staring into miles and miles of nothing but pitch-black space, barely any stars visible from this point of vantage. Of the times among other prisoners, creatures with abilities she did not have at the time, having to be on guard at all times in anticipation of the next attempt on her life. She was Alura's dead-ringer after all, they wanted their revenge, and they wouldn't care what the prison guards would do in their attempts to prevent death.

Memories of landing on Earth and the chaos that had immediately ensued; prison guards being killed with the help of both old and new-found abilities, overwhelming them in numbers now that they were with more than just a small random selection. She didn't think the smell of death would ever leave her nose after that, and in a way it hadn't, the memory still attached to the images.

Memories of every person she'd ever had to kill, even those as collateral, the faces of their pictures coming to life in her dreams. It was hard not to feel like the monster she was thought to be after those particular nightmares.

 

_"Astra!"_

_Astra bolted up, noticing a presence and not hesitating to grab them in a chokehold, pressed against the glass of the cell. One moment she'd been in Fort Rozz, super-powered criminals looming over her, always having to be on guard, and the next she'd been awake. Astra blinked upon hearing a choked sound and a hand covering her own, finally focusing on reality and instantly letting go when she noticed who she was holding. "Oh, Alex, I am sorry, I..."_

_Alex coughed as air became available to her again, slumping against the glass slightly. "You were having a nightmare, I know."_

_"Are you okay?" Astra asked, then frowned upon remembering everything of her current situation. "Why are you in here?"_

_"I'm fine, don't worry about me." That would have been more convincing if Alex's voice hadn't still been a tad raspy. "You were screaming in your sleep, I wanted to wake you, but you didn't seem to hear me from the other side. Are you okay?"_

_Astra wanted to tell her she was fine, usher her out of the room and deal with this herself as she always had, find a distraction and forget about it. She didn't need the amount of sleep humans needed, even less so when, back on Krypton, she'd been taught how to stretch her limits._

_The truth, however, was that she was far from fine and hadn't slept in over a week. She was tired to her bones, weakened by this Kryptonite, as Kara had called it, on top of everything. Astra wasn't certain if the nausea was caused by the green substance or her nightmare._

_So instead she ignored the question and instead focused on not wanting to get Alex into trouble. "You shouldn't stay in here, I'm certain your Director won't approve of this." Astra glanced at the still open entrance to make her point._

_The outer doors were still sealed, though the control panel of the Kryptonite was on the inside and if she could figure out how to deactivate them she could break out without too much issue, strength regained. Especially while Agent Danvers was still catching her breath. Instead of making any move to escape however, she simply moved to sit on the bench inside the cell._

_Alex cleared her throat and pushed off the glass, shaking her head lightly. "He can reprimand me later, I don't care." Astra startled slightly when Alex sat down next to her, pushing her to the side for some proper space to sit. "Talk to me."_

_It wasn't often that Astra found herself speechless, but Alex had managed to make her so. While she wasn't particularly interested in bringing up old memories, they were already in her brain and supposedly talking about them would work. Part of her craved to share, the part that was tired of repressing it to no avail. "I wouldn't want to burden you," she tried lamely, a last ditch effort._

_A hand found its way to Astra's leg, warm and soothing, and Astra met Alex's eyes. "Try me."_

Astra'd shared everything of that dream with Alex then, and Alex understood somehow. Understood having to do what's necessary, even if it went against your principles. Understood sacrifice. Understood _her_. Alex had stayed until Astra'd fallen asleep, and it had been the first night in a long time to be completely peaceful.

That night had marked a change for them. Alex stopped pretending to be near Astra for any other reason than simply wanting to be there, and in turn Astra had felt much more at ease, like the underlying tension of being on opposing sides and having to tread carefully had vaporized.

Alex hadn't told her what her Director's response had been, if he'd responded at all. She'd attempted to broach the subject the next day, but let's say that had gone less than graceful.

 

_Astra didn't have to look up to know who was entering the room, recognizing those footfalls with ease by now. She didn't cease doing what she'd been doing, continuing her push-ups as she spoke. "I'm surprised your Director still allows you near me, Alex."_

_Fifty-seven..._

_Fifty-eight..._

_Fifty-nine..._

_Sixty..._

_At the silence, Astra simply continued. "If you'd been under my command, I'd have you run any other errand to keep you away. It's clear you've been compromised, Rao only knows what you could be planning."_

_Now Astra would certainly not be complaining about any of those possible plans, though she knew Alex was as loyal to her agency as the General had been to her cause, if not more. No, Alex wouldn't betray her people to break her out, but if she did, well, it'd only be beneficial. Anything to get out of this cage._

_Sixty-six..._

_Sixty-seven..._

_Sixty-eight..._

_Sixty-nine..._

_"Alex?" Astra looked up after number seventy, some damp hair clinging to her face as she paused. There her mate stood frozen in front of the door that was, thankfully for Alex, programmed to close itself. Her mouth was slightly agape and she appeared to be staring at Astra, pupils visibly dilated._

_Oh._

Oh.

_Her lips curled into a smirk, resuming her exercise and making it a point to execute it more slowly and graciously than before. "I never did get to show my gratitude for that night," Astra continued, her voice trailing off as if in thought. "I could think of several ways to thank you properly."_

_When she looked back at Alex she could see her words had the desired effect, pupils blown even wider than before. Quite frankly it was a miracle the woman hadn't started drooling yet._

_Astra put her weight on her arms and pushed herself up in a well-practiced move, one that essentially had her in a semi handstand before hurling herself up in the air and landing on her feet. One that usually worked out well, and she was going to comment on it being a shame the barrier between them limited their options, but with the effects of the Kryptonite she ended up losing her balance and stumbling back._

_As if that wasn't enough, the stumbling sent her right over the edge of the bench behind her, toppling over it. She grunted as her back hit the ground with a loud smack._

_So much for seduction._

_Astra couldn't find it in herself to complain about it though, not when laughter bubbled up from the other side of the room. The sound was like music to her ears, and she decided she'd take that fall a thousand times over if it meant being able to hear this again._

 

Needless to say the conversation had strayed after that, and that Astra hadn't minded. Her back had been sore for a while because of those forsaken Kryptonite emitters, but at the very least they'd lowered the intensity by about a third since then, speeding up the recovery process.

At least it hadn't been as slow as it had with humans. Seeing how slowly Alex had recovered from the injury she'd sustained from the Hellgrammite had been somewhat aggravating, even more so because the agent refused to sit idly by during her recovery.

Not that her superior had assigned her any high-risk missions since then.

No, Alex seemed to have enough time on her hands to make her visits frequent, which often did include some complaints of boredom. With Supergirl on their team the work load had lessened significantly, and the lack of activity on Fort Rozz's side had cut that down even further.

Astra guessed they were still gathering information on where they had taken their General. Non undoubtedly knew the DEO was behind this and that her niece could be a valuable source of information, but fortunately he hadn't been reckless enough to charge in head-first.

She certainly isn't complaining; this air of relative quiet not only gave her time to spend with her soulmate and niece individually, but also together, once.

 

_"Put it back."_

_Alex looked at Kara with a frown. "How did you know?"_

_Astra shook her head at that; she'd noticed as well, but considering they were playing as a team, she'd decided against bringing it up. Alex had smuggled some extra money several times prior to this, when her niece had been too busy paying attention to Astra rather than their 'supervisor'. She wasn't certain if Kara was allowing it to happen until now, or if she should be impressed with Alex's stealthiness._

_When Kara had brought the board game along, Alex was supposedly meant to keep an eye on them during the visit, but that had quickly morphed into the agent functioning as Astra's hands on the board - considering she couldn't reach through the glass - and them actually working together. It was quite pleasant, despite the lengthiness of the game._

_Or perhaps because of it. Astra did have a lot of time to kill after all._

_"We've been sisters for how long now?" Kara snickered, "You always cheat at Monopoly, Alex."_

_Astra blinked. Sisters? She'd suspected them to be close, friends or perhaps (former) lovers, but familial bonds had never occurred to her._

_Alex made a face at Kara - who was grinning rather smugly - and returned the extra bill of a hundred to the bank. "Can't get anything past your super-senses, can I?"_

_"Nope!"_

_She could see it now, the teasing, the concern... Sisters. Not connected through blood, but they had definitely grown close enough to be classified as such. It showed Alex in a completely new light, the many things Kara had told about her sister clicking into place and linking to her soulmate._

_"Sisters."_

_The synchronized turning of heads in her direction made Astra aware she'd just said that aloud rather than process it internally._

_Kara was still smiling, now positively glowing with warmth as she nodded her affirmation with a slight hum. It was clear she loved Alex, her sister, and there was something reassuring about seeing that; knowing she'd been taken in by people who welcomed her was entirely different than watching them interact in front of her._

_Alex on the other hand looked much like a deer in headlights, her breathing much more shallow. She was waiting for a response, Astra realized. While Alex had had time to process their interfamilial connection, she hadn't even been aware._

_Astra had to admit it was strange, her mate being someone she would have called her niece in another life. She'd been aware there could have been a significant difference in age, but this certainly defied anything her imagination dared conjure._

_But she and Alex weren't related, they merely connected through Kara, without Kara they would be as far removed from each other as two creatures could get, further than any two humans on this planet. It might have been different if she'd known Alex while she'd been growing up, but they hadn't met until they were both adults._

_No, she didn't have a problem with this._

_And so she let her emotions speak for themselves, her lips curving up into a smile, soft and reassuring, and enough to cause Alex to start breathing normally again. "So you are the sister Kara speaks so highly of. Does she know?" Astra tapped her marked wrist to indicate she was referring to their bound souls._

_"She does."_

_Astra looked at Kara then, "Are you okay with this?"_

_A smile. "Of course."_

_"Good," Astra nodded. "Now where were we?"_

_"Alex was cheating."_

_Alex glared at Kara. "We were about to get a chance card," she corrected as she grabbed a card off the pile, showing it to Astra after a quick glance, already moving their piece._

_"Go directly to jail," Astra read. She stared at it for a moment, "This is where I use that 'get out of jail free' card, correct?"_

_"If you want, yes," Alex confirmed. "You could try to roll doubles instead, but I wouldn't advise it."_

_"Unless I can use it for this one instead," Astra started, tapping the glass of her cage, looking vaguely amused, "I'd like to use it."_

 

They'd had to stop the game before completion, something that was apparently a regular occurrence with Monopoly. She and Alex had been proclaimed the winners, though if Astra's calculations had been accurate, that had only been made possible through the occasional cheating on Alex's end.

Thankfully Kara didn't seem to mind, purely playing for her enjoyment, a sentiment Astra had shared for the time being. Watching the two of them had been sufficiently amusing to quell any need for competitiveness.

Perhaps next time.

Astra's eyebrows shoot up upon realizing she's already anticipating this to happen again somewhere in the future. There was no way of knowing this and with her current circumstances, she highly doubts it will be any time soon. Hope is a dangerous thing, she knows, but then what is the harm in hoping for something as seemingly simple as a board game? They'd proven she doesn't need to be free in order to participate, doesn't need to be able to touch anything while hardly feeling restricted in any way.

Now that Astra thinks about it, things with Alex had never felt restricting, not since she'd dropped the facade, not by the glass cage or Kryptonite. However there is still the matter of security cameras making things a little more complicated at times.

 

_The familiar sound of doors sliding open called Astra's attention, lazily opening her eyes to find none other than agent Danvers walk in with a stack of papers, who then unceremoniously plopped down on the floor and started writing on them. Forms, it looked like._

_It appeared bureaucracy wasn't any less of a pain in this world. If anything it seemed worse, having to use paper rather than a digital interface that allowed for dictation._

_Astra studied Alex, wondering why she would decide the floor would be a better place to fill these in than wherever she'd usually work on them. Or any other place with a table for that matter; this hunched position couldn't possibly be comfortable, nor could it be good for the human's back. Alex appeared to look rather grim, a look on her face that was all too familiar to Astra._

_She didn't have to ask to know Alex's latest mission had involved death._

_But there was something else there, something Astra couldn't place. "Are you alright, Alex? You look distraught."_

_Alex paused, seemingly conflicted about something, and that strange look intensified. There was something haunted about it. She shook her head then, before going back to the papers. "No."_

_Astra watched her hastily fill out papers for a few seconds, before she realized she hadn't simply been brushed off. This was unfamiliar territory; whereas Alex had caught her after a nightmare once that made Astra open up, Alex herself hadn't spoken of her feelings at all. "Do you wanna talk about what burdens you?"_

_With a deep sigh, Alex stopped writing and looked at her with those haunted eyes. "I can't, Astra."_

_No gesture towards the cameras was needed anymore to know why. Going from there it wasn't hard to conclude this was about the organization itself, or the people within it; Alex hadn't had issues talking about the beings they'd faced and locked away before, not after a mission was completed, at least._

_Alex shook her head and looked down at the papers for a few seconds, before looking back up. "I guess I just miss my father. Kara told you he died, right?"_

_"She did," Astra replied evenly, carefully studying Alex. She wondered where this was going, if this was related to the thing she couldn't talk about, if these were clues she was supposed to connect or not._

_"We were told he died in a plane crash."_

But he didn't. _Or at least, Alex's tone implied there was more to it, as did the look on her face. It wasn't pleading, not quite, but there was something of the sort there, a want for Astra to understand. She wondered if she was reading too much into this. "I am sorry for your loss."_

_Alex returned to her papers, writing more quickly than before. "It was a long time ago," she said, finished the page, and moved to the next sheet of paper. A blank one that she proceeded to write on, script small and upside-down, clearly meant for Astra to read._

Director might have killed him.

_Astra made sure to keep her face schooled into a neutral expression as she read it. She hadn't read too much into it, clearly, and such suspicions certainly were reason for concern. Astra licked her lips and took a breath. "Before Krypton perished, I lost someone important to me once, too."_

_She waited for Alex to look up at her - something she didn't have to wait long for - before she continued. "She was the closest thing I had to a friend, we were in the same squad upon recruitment. She was the second person I informed of Krypton's unstable core."_

_It had been after Alura, after they'd tried to convince the High Council and failed. Feona was different, wanted to take more direct action, thought it was a better idea to inform the people directly, and Astra hadn't disagreed._

_She shook her head, as if to get rid of the memories, and continued. "They told me she'd resigned and left Krypton." Astra'd known better. Not only did this go against everything Krypton stood for, Feona was one of her most valued Captains. Even without them being close, she would have informed her General._

_"You didn't believe them?"_

_"No, and I was right not to. I found files of her mission, with my signature on them." Forged, of course. It had been a warning to her as much as it had been getting rid of a threat to their society. "The High Council had sent her on a suicide mission in my name, Alex."_ Don't trust him, find out the truth.

_If the steeling of Alex's face was any indication, Astra's message had been received loud and clear. "I'm sorry to hear that."_

_"It was a long time ago." Astra copied Alex's earlier words, though there was something more pained about them. Sleep wasn't likely to happen tonight._

 

Astra hadn't been wrong and this time her mate hadn't been there to wake her and soothe her. Which was fine, it's what she's used to, but the contrast had been painfully obvious and she'd wished Alex to be there anyway.

Her thoughts were cut short when the ground starts shaking. An earthquake, Astra notes, bracing herself and staying away from the glass just in case. She hopes the Kryptonite emitters will be disabled if the place ends up collapsing under the force of the quakes; she really doesn't feel like being stuck under a pile of rubble until others save her.

If they would at all, considering she's a prisoner here.

It shakes a little longer when she's suddenly surrounded by darkness, the lights giving out, likely without their power supply. Which meant the entire base would likely be without power, the security feeds no longer capable of functioning as their eyes, the electrically-sealed doors no longer functioning.

Astra rises from her bench, slowly getting to her feet, then higher still until her feet no longer touch the floor. She speeds towards the entrance of her cage and pokes at the door, the glass panel moving aside easily without the lock properly supporting it.

The Kryptonite emitters stopped functioning, too.

_Freedom._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I add Humor as a tag yet? :D


	7. Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemm is free, Astra is free, basically a whole lot of freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes yes, it's a little on the short side, it's barely above my minimum, but surely you'll understand why I want this as a separate chapter. Enjoy!

"Initiating prisoner airlock."

It's nothing she hasn't done before, nothing but routine to make sure there are no health hazards even for the prisoners. The DEO is many things, but it is not cruel enough to let them writhe in their own filth. Jemm was dangerous with his psychic abilities, a conquerer of worlds, something he liked to brag about, which really only meant they couldn't let him go.

It should be a simple procedure, an easy one without too many risks, reliant on automated systems rather than agents who'd have to risk their lives. As far as safety went, this was the safest task within the DEO, paperwork not withstanding.

Unless, of course, the system malfunctions for one reason or another.

The ground started shaking, and Alex isn't surprised to see the lights and monitors flickering until they no longer function. "We lost power," she notes, already setting the system up for emergency procedures. It shouldn't be a problem; they were prepared for any and all situations, this is why they had back-up generators. "Switching to emergency!"

"I need eyes on the prisoner!" Hank demands.

"System is rebooting now," Alex reports, internally cursing the technology for needing this much time to restart, for wasting precious seconds. But the power is back on, there should be no reason for concern, it should be fine.

Except it isn't. The first camera to come back online shows Jemm's cell, and it is empty.

 _Shit_.

"Hostile is loose, seal the base."

It's an order, but sealing the base would mean no way out for anyone, Hank and herself included. It would mean locking all of them up with a man she no longer trusts, a man who possibly killed her father, a man who is hiding something, who has likely been lying to her about god knows how many things.

So Alex hesitates, contemplating her options.

"I said seal the base!"

It's more frantic, and Alex thinks of Astra and the story she told, of how she'd essentially told her not to trust him either. She's not sure this is good idea, she still has reservations about this, too many of them.

But then she thinks about Jemm and the threat he poses, and she knows she needs to seal the base. It's not just obeying orders, it's the best course of action to keep him from the populace. For all Alex doesn't trust Hank, she fears Jemm breaking out more.

It takes her longer than it should to put the base on lock-down, but she does seal it eventually. She'll just have to keep an eye out for Hank and be on her guard, it's all Alex can do in this situation.

She watches Hank gather a couple of men for retrieving Jemm, and Alex takes the opportunity to call Kara and check in with her, although that quickly became Kara checking up on Alex once she revealed the base was sealed. She'd hoped Kara's powers had returned, hoped she could help, but most of all she'd simply needed to talk to her sister.

Just in case things went south, Alex needed Kara to know that she loved her.

The moment she hung up Hank motioned for her to come with them to Alura's room for a debriefing. The AI wasn't as helpful as hoped, not providing any new information and essentially considering them doomed without Kara's help, without a _Kryptonian's_ help. Hank cut it off before it could insult the human race any further, and Alex presented them with the neural disruptors, the one thing the intelligence had failed to acknowledge.

They weren't helpless. They could handle the Red Saturnian.

"We only have three disruptors left so, Tsung and Reynolds, gear up." Hank handed the two agents a neural disruptor, after taking the first one for himself. "Let's go, come on!"

Alex frowned at this; she couldn't help but feel slightly offended. "Sir, I have more field experience than Reynolds and Tsung combined."

"Which is why I need you to remain behind to protect the others. I have to know I'm leaving these people with someone I can trust," Hank tells her, much to her exasperation. "Unless you're implying you and I have a problem."

They do, but Alex can't let him know that, the hesitation at sealing the base was too much of an indication already. She has to concede, and so she does, reluctantly. "No, sir."

"Good, glad to hear it."

She can't be sure, but Hank sounds grumpier than usual. Alex is an expert in analyzing speech patterns and body language, yet she still has trouble analyzing his. There's always something off, something she can't put a finger on, but it makes him seem permanently tense and frustrated.

Hank opens the door to leave with the other two agents, stopped short when they see Astra standing there, unconscious reptilian in her hand, held by the scruff of his neck. "I believe you've lost this," she comments casually, as if it's the most natural thing in the world for her to be there, as if she's not supposed to be contained in a cell.

As if she couldn't be halfway across the world right now, or worse, back at her army.

No, she wouldn't go back.

Hank lets out something between a sigh and a groan, a hand coming up to cover his face and rub at his temples for a second or two. He grumbles something to himself - Alex can only guess it's about Astra being loose on top of everything - before looking at her. "Why are you here, with him?"

"I heard him scuttle down the hall, figured you'd be more receptive to my presence if I had some sort of peace offering." Astra steps forward then, pushing the creature towards Reynolds who - to his credit - caught it with only a slight stumbling. "I can help with the Saturnian, you need not risk your human agents."

Hank closes the door once Astra is in the room, turning towards her. "My agents can handle themselves just fine."

"You underestimate him."

"And you underestimate my agents. We have captured him before, we can do it again."

Astra huffs, "Don't be obtuse, he could remove the disruptors with ease, leaving your agents vulnerable. If you wanna minimize the risk of casualties, you will leave the humans and take me with you instead."

The Director eyes Astra warily, but doesn't argue any further, a tense silence stretching between them as they stare each other down.

Alex's pride is inclined to agree with Hank; they can handle themselves, they don't need the help of a Kryptonian for this. However Astra makes a good point, and while she is confident she herself could handle Jemm - doesn't doubt Hank could either - she is not certain about the two less experienced agents he planned to bring with him.

Hank nods once then and turns to his agents. "Change of plans. Danvers, you will accompany Astra to capture Jemm." He takes off his neural disruptor and hands it to Alex. "Reynolds, Tsung, take the Gordanian back to his cell and make sure he is unable to escape this time. The rest of us will stay here until further notice."

Blinking away her surprise, Alex puts on the inhibitor and throws a glance at Astra, who appears satisfied with this new arrangement. She's looking at Alex, and while she appears softer than before, her posture is still very much that of a General. Alex takes a breath and readies her weapon. "Let's do this."

Astra nods and with that they are off, Hank opening and closing the automated door for them. As soon as it closed, Astra tilts her head slightly, almost exactly like Kara does when she's listening beyond human range. "Follow me."

She does.

They walk in silence for a while, because Alex doesn't know what to say, where to start. This is the first time they're actually alone, and while there are visual cams, they can speak freely if she just turns off the sound. Which Alex has done, something Hank might reprimand her for later, but it's worth it with the increased privacy.

However they also have a mission now, and Astra seems to rely on her hearing to locate Jemm.

It's Astra that breaks the silence eventually. "Can they hear us?"

"No."

"Good." Alex would smile if Astra didn't sound so serious. When she continues, Alex understands why. "He knows."

Alex frowns. "What?"

"Your Director, he knows of our bond."

That shouldn't be possible. Alex knows neither of them have told Hank, knows she hasn't been caught, knows she'd be in for a world of trouble if she had been. "How?"

Astra is frowning now too. "I cannot be certain, but I suspect he might not be human."

Not human.

There are so many questions that come to mind at that suggestion; why would the DEO be led by someone who isn't human, how is he appearing human in every way, what reason does Astra have to suspect this, what signs have they missed? She is part of the DEO, she is supposed to be able to recognize extraterrestrials, how could they possibly have missed their Director being one?

Alex eventually settles on one. "What do you think he might be?"

A light shake of her head. "I do not know, Alex, but I suspect he has psychic abilities like our Saturnian."

"You think he's read our minds?"

"Yours, not mine, I'm impervious to such things on this planet," Astra corrects. "But yes, he might have read your mind, or sensed any feelings you might harbor."

Alex could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks and her first instinct is to object. They're soulmates, yes, and on Earth it's customary to marry them, but it's barely been a month, no, feelings play no part, not yet, she absolutely does not feel anything for Astra.

Though she is beautiful, and that is something Alex can't deny, nor does she want to deny it. No, she's not just beautiful, Astra is absolutely stunning, completely breathtaking.

Those stormy eyes that only ever seem to soften around Kara and, more recently, her.

Those sharp lines of her face that make her cheekbones and jawline stand out, things that Alex has found herself wanting to trace.

That wild hair that somehow reminds her of a lion's manes, thick and hinting at the immense power she holds, with that white strand of hair Alex has wanted to wrap around her fingers.

Those lips that she definitely has not thought about kissing.

Okay, so maybe there were some feelings there.

Alex wonders how much Hank would know exactly, how specific being an empath would be, if he'd just know she's attracted to Astra or if he'd know exactly what kind of things she's wanted to do to her. She's sincerely hoping he's not a telepath, because then he'd certainly know the extent of it.

She almost shudders at the thought and really hopes those suspicions are inaccurate, but she knows Astra has encountered a myriad of species on both her travels as military woman and time spent with the Fort Rozz convicts, knows at least one of them is a telepath, and knows she trusts Astra's judgment on this. If anyone would be able to tell, it would be Astra.

Another silence stretches, until Astra stops in her tracks and gestures for Alex to do the same. "He's here," she announces.

There's barely enough time for Alex to ready her gun before the assault begins, Astra gone in a flash, only to reappear with Jemm pinned against the wall opposite her, something that doesn't last long before she's tossed aside, down the hall where Alex can no longer see her.

"General Astra," he growls, walking in the direction he threw her almost lazily. "Why side with these humans when you can side with me? They would not stand a chance against us."

Alex doesn't think twice about starting her barrage of bullets, aiming for the crystal on his head, backing away when he turns to approach her. She manages to hit her mark, but it doesn't seem to do much, if anything at all.

"It will take more than that to kill me, human."

Her ammunition runs out and she shucks the gun, reaching for another one when Jemm super-speeds her into the wall by her neck. Alex's first instinct is to grab at his hands, try to pry them apart long enough to get some air, but with his strength she knows it's no use, she knows, she has to stay calm.

"You are powerless," he taunts. "Killing you is pitifully easy, so fragi-"

A needle jammed in his neck cuts him off, his muscles going slack and Alex coughs when the air hits her lungs again, doubling over as his body drops to the floor. "Not powerless," she rasps, pulling out the syringe and putting it back into her belt. The bullets may not have worked, but this concoction could knock him out until next week, something they'd discovered after capturing him the first time.

Suddenly Astra is back by her side, ready to fight and a little disoriented and too late to do anything, something she seems to realize when she gathers her bearings. She frowns, squatting to get a better look at Alex. "Are you alright?"

"Just peachy," Alex responds in between coughs, still trying to catch her breath. "Are you?"

Astra scoffs. "I'm practically indestructible, Alex."

"Then what took you so long?"

"I..." Astra looks away and takes a deep breath. "Recovering from that blow might have taken longer than I'd hoped."

Alex has to strain her ears to hear the words properly, Astra almost muttering, seemingly embarrassed about having been hurt. Clearing her throat, Alex readjusts to kneeling rather than being doubled over and cups her cheek, gently guiding Astra to look at her again.

Forcing her head would be useless, Alex has learned that much spending the later part of her childhood with Kara. It'd be like trying to move a block of steel that was welted to the ground.

Much to her relief Astra allows herself be guided, and Alex meets those vulnerable eyes. She can see the insecurity written in them, doesn't need any psychic powers to read her in this moment. "There is no shame in getting hurt, alright? I don't fault you for it," Alex starts, and her voice softens. "I was merely worried."

Astra's eyes move side to side slightly, searching, for anything, and then they flicker down to her lips briefly, back up to her eyes, back to her lips, and Alex becomes aware of just how close they are in this moment. Astra still looks vulnerable, but in a different way, a good way, and it makes Alex want to kiss her.

So she does.

She moves forward the last few inches, slow enough to give Astra time, time Astra doesn't need with her super-senses, but time nonetheless, and Alex presses her lips against Astra's softly, their eyes fluttering close.

And oh, Astra's lips are so soft, softer than she expected, and so starkly different from the rest of her body, which is all hard muscles and sharp lines. Something flutters in her stomach at the contact, and there's a soft stroking sensation on her right side, something she blames her tattoo for until she notices it's the shape of a hand and realizes it's Astra, ever so gentle.

She loses all train of thought then, nothing existing beyond just the two of them in this dimly-lit hallway, beyond the soft humming in the background of the monitors, beyond the pressure against her shin of Jemm's unconscious body...

And just like that reality comes crashing back down on Alex, her mind racing a thousand thoughts a minute as she pulls away, feeling guilty when Astra chases her a little before properly noticing what is happening. "God, Astra, I... We can't, not right now."

There's too much to take care of first, and that's not even exclusive to the complications that come from being enemies - former enemies, she knows, but it's not official yet, Astra is officially still a hostile - but also includes still having to talk about this in general. About what Astra wants out of this connection, hell, what Alex herself wants out of this, though she thinks, hopes, that this kiss has pretty much brought that out into the open.

But she can see the vulnerability in Astra's eyes change, harden, until it's as hard as steel. No, harder still, more like that unbreakable metal they found, Nth metal. "I understand," Astra says, but her voice doesn't, cold and steady, and she gets up, detaches not only emotionally but also physically.

Alex shakes her head, grabs her hands to stay close, follows her to her feet. "I want this," she starts in what she hopes is somewhat of a reassuring tone, hopes there is confidence in her following words, a confidence that is faked to cover her nerves. She really hopes she hasn't read this wrong. "There is so much to take care of first, to talk about, but god, I want this. I want you, Astra."

Astra swallows, and Alex is relieved to see some of that hardness in her eyes fade.

She expects Astra to say something, something to brush it off perhaps and though she hopes for a verbal confirmation that it's not a one-sided feeling, anything will do, anything better than this silence following her admission.

What she doesn't expect is a tug on her hands, one that pulls her closer to Astra, and Astra is the one who kisses Alex this time. It's brief, more confident, but no less soft and infinitely reassuring.

It's long enough for her to miss the contact when Astra pulls back.

"Later?" Astra questions, her voice quiet and surprisingly insecure.

"Later," Alex confirms, before releasing her hands and crouching down to hoist the unconscious Saturnian up. "Now let's return this fish to its tank."

Astra crouches down beside her, reaching for Jemm, but not touching him. "Allow me?"

The response is a well-practiced swoop to get the Saturnian up on her shoulders, a soft grunt, and a stubborn shake of her head. "I've got this," Alex huffs, not looking at the Kryptonian when she turns around and starts her way back to her team. She's well aware Astra could do this with much more ease than her, hell, she could probably carry the both of them and speed them back, but she doesn't need the help and doesn't want to see Astra's response to her stubborn impracticality.

Had she looked, she might have seen Astra had been mildly impressed.


	8. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking. So much talking to smooth things over. Alex talks with J'onn and Astra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't look at it anymore, this is the third day in a row that I'm like, I'm gonna finish and post it, the third. I was planning on a cliffhanger, but these two just... Well, you'll see what they do, they never listen to me and you should probably be glad for it lol
> 
> Enjoy!

Alex drops Jemm the moment she's back inside the room, and she's almost wishing she'd let Astra carry him instead, because Red Saturnians are _heavy_ and her back and shoulders are a lot more sore than she'd expected them to be.

"Donovan, Mitchell, see to it that Jemm is returned to his cell."

Hank's orders come immediately, and Alex braves a glance at the screen that is supposed to show her body-cam and vitals, finding herself relieved when she notices they are both turned off. Maybe they didn't see everything; she'll have to ask Hank about it.

There's a lot she has to ask Hank, like how he always conveniently seems to know everything, whether or not he is human, what really happened to her father and whether or not he had anything to do with it, if she can still trust him.

She's planning on asking all of those questions and is about to approach him, when Hank calls out instead. "Agent Danvers, a word?"

It's too convenient a timing, as always, but it's the first time it really draws her attention now that she has something to look for.

Alex looks at Astra first, who is standing at the entrance still, exuding confidence, or trying to. Her observing of the other agents is a tad too frantic, and her eyes land on Alex too much, as if trying to draw comfort from her presence. So, naturally, Astra notices her and gives her a nod, "I'll return to my cell then."

It sounds more like a question than a statement, and Alex wishes she had the authority to say she didn't have to, at least not immediately, not after helping them just now. Instead she returns a nod, a confirmation that she hopes is somewhat reassuring. "I'll be there soon."

She hopes she will be.

Alex turns back to Hank then and follows him to a different room, a more private one, and she realizes that if they are wrong about this, if Hank is as human as the rest of them and isn't a psychic, that this could very well be the end of her career. How much had they seen? Had the monitors been shut off before or after they'd kissed?

Why shut the monitors down before her return at all? That went against protocol and very much indicates Hank does know more.

Taking a steadying breath, Alex tries to calm herself. She knows something is up, and thanks to Astra has a clue on what it could be. There's no use fretting over losing her job right now, not when Hank has just opened the door to the room with an empty cell and she'll find out in a moment. She has to appear certain of her case.

When the doors close, Alex waits for him to speak. He called her out here, and he is still her Director, much as she doesn't trust him.

Hank sits down on the edge surrounding the tank before looking at her. "What were you thinking?" It sounds less angry than it probably should, exasperated if anything; less like an accusation and more like an actual question.

She's not sure what to make of it, and it throws her off slightly. Alex had expected a reprimanding at best, anger at worst - something she's not certain she's ever actually seen on him - not this... whatever this is.

Alex is also uncertain of what he's referring to, if this is about her muting her side of the communication channel, or if it's about Astra. She'd have to assume it's about the former, that would probably be best, feigning ignorance until called out, until Hank would reveal he had more knowledge than he was supposed to have.

Her silence takes too long, evidently, because Hank decides to continue. "You disabled your earpiece, do you have any idea how stupid that was?"

He sounds more like a disappointed parent than a superior, and Alex thinks it's uncanny how much he reminds her of Eliza in this moment. At least it clarifies things, the option of being human still on the table.

"Jemm is dangerous, Alex, you know this," Hank continues. "We would have had no way of knowing whether or not he got into your head if we'd lost visuals. There is a reason we took these precautions, and I know you know this. So why take such unnecessary risk?"

Ignoring his question, Alex asks one of her own. "Is that why the monitors were disabled? Because you _lost_ visuals?"

Hank's face contorts, accompanied by a deep breath, his hands coming up in frustration. He shakes his head when he lowers his hands back to his lap. "Why don't you ask me what you really want to know? I know you don't trust me, Alex."

There are too many things to ask, too many questions of importance, but there is only one that has been on her mind since the beginning, how they got here in the first place. Alex crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at him. "What really happened to my father? Did you kill him?"

"I did not kill Jeremiah Danvers," he starts seriously, and Alex wants to believe him, doesn't see any signs of lying, but she's always had trouble reading him. "Are you certain you want to know what did happen to him? There is only one other living person who does, and you cannot tell anyone about this, not even Kara."

Truth is, she's not certain she wants to know. She wants to go back to believing it was just an accident, to it being a tragic but simple incident, but knows it's too late for that now. It's no longer a matter of wanting though, Alex needs to know the truth, even if that means hiding more from Kara. "You're the one who taught me to keep secrets from her."

With a nod, Hank begins his explanation, about how he isn't actually Hank Henshaw, how that man died the same night as her father, saving the off-worlder they were supposed to hunt down when he realized it was a refugee and not a threat. How he died a hero, sacrificed himself for the fugitive, and it wasn't hard to put two and two together from there.

"That alien... That was you, wasn't it?"

A nod.

"How are you him?" She really hopes the answer to this isn't the possession of a corpse, or any other parasitic ways, because _gross_. Also unethical.

"I am a shapeshifter. When Hank Henshaw died, I assumed his identity to reform the DEO," not-Hank explains, and she can imagine why. If the DEO used to hunt even innocent extraterrestrials, a reform had been desperately needed. "But I also made your father a promise, that I would take care of his daughter. I recruited you so that I would honor that promise and protect you as if you were my own child."

Alex blinks. That's not something she expected, and frankly a little strange to think about, but it does explain a lot of things. She can't help but feel a little bummed by the reason of her recruitment, that it hadn't been her skills but a promise he'd made, but this wasn't the time to think about that. There were plenty of other things she needed to know first. "If you're not Hank Henshaw, who are you?"

"I am the sole survivor of my planet, the last son of Mars," he answers and gets to his feet, approaching Alex while a red glow encompasses him, like veins, but crawling over his body, and his posture changes.

She gapes, she can't help herself. This is his shapeshifting ability in action, and for some reason she hadn't anticipated his height to be any different, but instead of a 6-foot-something man, there was now a 7-foot-something Martian in front of her, suited up in black, with green skin. The stories of green men living on Mars hadn't been incorrect it appears, but they'd sure underestimated the size of them, because _holy_ _shit_ he is tall.

"My name is J'onn J'onzz," the Martian says, and his voice is different too, like two voices are speaking at once, demanding attention by default.

Alex wishes she could take a moment to process all of this, but she'll save that for later, because they are not finished yet. Astra's suspicions about his lack of humanity had been correct, but that still left the question of his abilities. "So, J'onn J'onzz, you can shapeshift. Do you have any other abilities? Psychic powers, perhaps?"

"Several, yes, including telepathy."

Astra had hit the mark completely, it would seem. But that still left the question of whether he knew about her and-

"Yes, I know about you and Astra," J'onn remarks, and Alex startles slightly. It is mildly unsettling that he could tell what was on her mind, answer questions she'd barely been thinking of.

The thought of him having seen any fantasies she'd had while around him is even more cringe-worthy, and for his part, J'onn seems uncomfortable too now that her thoughts remind him of it. She thinks. She's not going to ask. Alex does plan to ask how much he knows and how he can be okay with this, though.

Something that gets answered immediately. "You have as much influence over your bond as I do. I refuse to condemn my best agent for something she has no control over. I do expect you to behave while on duty, however."

Alex groans, reminded of her body cam while she'd kissed Astra. "How much did they see?"

"Nothing," J'onn says, and there's a load that falls off her shoulders with those words. "I suspected something would happen, so I turned the monitor off the moment Jemm was rendered unconscious."

"No one questioned you?"

"They did, but they didn't dare question further when I told them I trust you had everything under control," he explains, before turning deadly serious. "See to it that this doesn't happen again, it won't work a second time."

Alex nods. "Of course. Thanks for covering me." She was well aware of the risk he'd taken, how much trouble he could be in if they'd started to get suspicious, how much trouble they could both be in had it gone wrong. Worst case scenario, they could have forced him to uncover his true identity, which he's trying so hard to hide.

Which brings up another question.

"You said I couldn't tell anyone, but what about Astra? She's the one that suspected this to begin with." Alex can't imagine she could hide this from her, not if Astra wanted to know the truth. She realizes she doesn't know Astra well enough yet to know if she'd let it go or not.

With Kara she knows, Kara knows how to keep a secret - so long as you don't let her near Cat Grant on the record, evidently - and knows some secrets are not hers to reveal, something Alex knows Kara respects when push comes to shove. She won't like it, will probably be grouchy about it for a while, but she lets it go eventually.

But Astra, Astra is still such an enigma, even after all their talks. They'd bonded, certainly, and they'd gotten to know each other better, but there's so much left to learn. It had only been a few weeks, after all.

"If you think she can be trusted, you can tell her." J'onn's voice breaks her out of her thoughts, and she only notices now he's shifted back into Hank Henshaw. "Though I'd prefer it if you wouldn't."

\-----

"You were right."

Astra raises her eyebrows, situated on the bench in her cell. The door is still open and Alex opts to join her, taking a seat right next to her, and there's surprise in Astra's eyes now too. Briefly. "About?"

"About the Director," Alex clarifies, glad they hadn't been able to restore all security feeds yet, able to speak freely for now. "He's a telepath and he knows about us."

There's a single nod of understanding, and a beat of silence. "Are you in trouble?"

She shakes her head, "So long as I 'behave', he's okay with it."

The answer seems to appease Astra, until she appears to remember something else. "What about your father?"

"It wasn't him." Her father had died a hero and there's a strange sense of pride that accompanies this new fact, though his absence is no less painful. There's also a raging anger now that she knows the truth, a desire to avenge him, but that is no longer a possibility; the ones responsible were already dead. "He sacrificed himself for the Director, saved his life."

"An honorable death," Astra notes.

Alex hums half-heartedly; frankly she's done talking about him. Much as the truth had mattered, much as she's glad to know it, it doesn't change anything. Jeremiah is still as dead as he had been, and she's dealt with it before. Or, well, she's been coping with it by avoiding dealing with it; this situation making her think about it again is not appreciated and only serves to make her crave a drink.

Besides, there are other things she'd much rather focus on right now, like her beautiful soulmate now that the camera feeds are not keeping an eye on them.

She moves a hand to cover's Astra's, fully turning towards her.

Alex frowns when she both feels and sees Astra stiffen. "Is something wrong?"

Astra sighs and looks at her, "You were right earlier, we do need to talk about this first."

Alex retracts her hand and clenches it into a fist, putting it beside her. "You're having second thoughts," she concludes, and she really should have seen this coming. So far everything had been kept casual, but now the first move had been made, and Astra'd had some time to think while she'd been talking to J'onn.

Astra, to her credit, doesn't look pleased about this either. "A romantic relationship would be... complicated," she starts. "I am not an easy woman to love, Alex, and you deserve so much better than me. We could be confidantes, or friends-"

There is so much self-loathing evident in her voice and posture, Alex can't bear to look at it any longer, so she unclenches her fist and instead moves it back to Astra, this time to cup her cheek rather than cover her hand, much like before they'd kissed the first time.

It had the desired effect; Astra's breath hitched mid-sentence, and she's back in the present, searching Alex's face for answers.

"Hit me," Alex says seriously.

"What?" Astra looks so confused, Alex briefly wonders if Astra thought she'd meant it in a literal way.

"Your reservations," she clarifies, and withdraws her hand. "Tell me."

Astra does that thing where she worries her lip and licks it, something Alex has come to know as one of her habits whenever she's conflicted about something. There's a clenching of her jaw that follows, as well as a deep breath, before she looks Alex dead in the eye. "For starters, I'm a criminal. I'm responsible for many horrible deeds that I cannot atone for, and had more horrible deeds planned, Myriad included."

Alex nods, "True, but the things you've done had been out of necessity. I can't say I condone Myriad, even as a last resort, but that is a thing of the past. You're helping to prevent it now and you understand why it shouldn't be used, that's what matters."

"How can you be okay with this?" She demands, frustrated. "I _created_ Myriad. I planned to use it here on Earth, to enslave part of your population, while it wasn't necessary."

"Because you were desperate, Astra. Desperate and traumatized, with nothing left to lose. I don't think I'd fare much better under those circumstances." It's not the first time she's thought about this. Before telling Kara she'd made sure she was prepared for any and all questions, to put it into actual words that she could use not only to justify it to others, but also to herself.

Astra looks like she's about to argue, but the words die on her lips and she drops her head slightly instead.

Whether it's a surrender or defeat, Alex isn't sure, but she knows it's not enough to reassure the woman, so she continues. "Do you remember your first words to me?"

Astra cringes ever so slightly, but she returns her gaze to Alex, her face set in a frown. "Vaguely, something about having waited to get my hands on one of your agents."

Alex nods, and remembers that she hasn't actually had the chance to show Astra her mark yet. So she lifts the right side of her shirt, revealing the bold, angular, black letters. "I've been waiting quite some time to get one of you alive," Alex says without looking. She's had those words stuck in her head for a very long time, imagining so many possible situations, even dreaming about them at times.

Astra is studying the tattoo carefully, a hand lingering in the air like she wants to touch it, but is afraid she'll cross boundaries if she does. While amusing, it won't do, so Alex gently guides her hand to her side.

She knows it was the right move when she feels Astra trace it gently.

She wonders what Astra is thinking.

Alex doesn't speak until Astra draws back, letting her shirt drop back down, not bothering to straighten it when a piece of her mark is still visible. "I've known since I was eight years old that you would likely break the law, and I've imagined worse people in that time. For eighteen years I didn't know if my soulmate would want me or would want to hurt me. You haven't tried to kill me and you abandoned your cause, at least partially for me," Alex explains. "Honestly? You're better than anything I imagined."

Astra smiles softly. It's still reserved, tinged with some sort of sadness, but it's an improvement. "You must have had horrible imaginations."

"I've also had good ones." They didn't measure up to Astra; they'd been mere fantasies, not nearly as intriguing. "What else?"

Her smile drops, and there is barely a pause before Astra brings up her next reservation. "Though me being Kara's aunt and you being her sister does not make us family, I have lived over 50 _ahmzeht_. I have spent almost as much time in Fort Rozz as you have on this planet, does this truly not bother you?"

Over 50 _ahmzeht_ , and Alex quickly calculates the amount of years that is in her head: over 70 years. That would make Astra almost thrice her age; old enough to be her grandmother, if you include her time spent frozen in time. Roughly 45 years spent outside of the Phantom Zone, of which a dozen had reduced aging still if Clark's aging is anything to go by.

Physically speaking there'd only be about a decade difference between them, which is socially acceptable even for humans.

Not that Alex cares about age. In this case it truly is just a matter of numbers; they are both adults and Astra does not look anywhere near her seventies. She's stunning.

Stunning, and nearly immortal.

"It doesn't bother me, but does it bother you?" Alex returns the question at her, knowing Astra's supposed to outlive her by decades, perhaps even centuries if she doesn't get herself killed. "Humans only live about 80 years, if they're lucky."

The Kryptonian's head tilts slightly, confused. "Why would it bother me? I'm aware of a human's lifespan."

"And you're aware yours is a lot longer?"

"On Earth, yes." Astra frowns slightly. "What is your point?"

Alex gapes at her. "My point is that you'll live the majority of your life without me, that you're going to have to watch me die and _bury_ _me_." She knows Kryptonians mourn their dead differently, but they do mourn them. Alex wonders why Astra seems to take this so lightly.

Astra's eyes widen slightly. "Is that what you think?" She shakes her head and moves to grab Alex's hands, muttering something about the ignorance of humanity under her breath. "Our lifespans are intertwined because of our bond. It's hard to estimate how long we have exactly, but our aging should be synchronized to an average of our typical rates."

"Wait, really?" And oh, the amount of questions that new information spawns, the bioengineer in Alex making her itch to find out more and already trying to make an estimate. It's then that she realizes she still doesn't actually know enough about Astra's age to determine that. "How old are you exactly?"

"Seventy-three in your years, I believe."

Her brain is making rapid calculations now, giving multiple outcomes based on different theories on how that would work at all. Alex knows Kryptonians could live about eight centuries under a yellow sun, provided they aren't bonded to a human and they've been there since infancy, much unlike Astra who hadn't gotten here until about a decade ago.

But even with that in mind, her best estimate is that they'll live another two centuries or so, which is mildly intimidating.

It's even more intimidating to think Kara will live about four centuries with Lucy.

At least her sister won't be alone for the second half of her life.

"Two centuries..." Alex breathes, still struggling to wrap her head around that. It's hard enough to imagine being old, to imagine turning seventy, but thrice that age? That's enough to make her head hurt.

A hand squeezing her own gently brings Alex back to the present, and she's reminded that she won't be alone, that Astra will be there in one way or another, and that the manner of which remains to be seen due to Astra's reservations.

"Okay, so age isn't a problem," Alex says, getting the conversation back on track. "Anything else?"

Frowning for a second, she replies, "I have a husband."

She hadn't forgotten about him: Non, both Astra's husband and lieutenant. She hadn't gone into much detail about him, but she'd mentioned him in stories, that he'd lost his own soulmate before they had the chance of marrying. That he'd helped with figuring out the state of Krypton, had stood by her side while trying to save it by ruling it. That they'd found solace in each other's unbound existence.

They'd been married longer than Alex herself has been alive.

"Would you rather stay with him?" Alex asks genuinely, hoping her voice is devoid of judgment.

Astra shakes her head with a sigh, "Alex, you've got to understand, on Krypton it was impossible to get a divorce. Once you have a spouse, you're expected to remain faithful to them until you rejoin them in Rao's light."

"But this is not Krypton," Alex argues. "Legally speaking: you aren't married, not anymore. If you want to stay with Non I'll respect that, but you've got to understand you have a choice here." She'd respect it, but Alex can't say she wouldn't be disappointed. She doesn't want to be with her soulmate just because they're bonded though, doesn't want to be with someone who wants to be with someone else.

Astra drops her head, silent for a moment, and she's doing her lip thing again. "He might not stand for it."

"That's his problem, not yours. We'll deal with it if we have to."

She looks back at Alex, and Astra's voice is surprisingly soft when she speaks. "We?"

Alex nods. "Together."

A smile, and Astra strokes Alex's cheek gently. "You really are too good for me," she whispers as she brings her face closer to her soulmate's, "but who am I to deny such a gift."

Astra closes the remaining distance then, and it's both similar and completely different from their first kiss. Astra is still soft, as soft as there in the dimly lit hallway, but there is confidence behind it now, confidence and a wanting that is entirely mutual.

The hand that was stroking Alex's cheek has moved towards the back of her head now, tangled in her hair, and the kiss deepens. They both seem to have the same thought as they part their lips, and Alex would laugh if she wasn't getting consumed by desire to explore every bit of Astra. Her hands had moved to Astra's sides somewhere along the line and it's taking everything not to let them wander higher.

This really isn't the place to let things escalate, lack of surveillance or not.

When they break apart Alex is breathless, and she chuckles. "Does that mean you ran out of excuses?"

Astra laughs lightly. "Yes," she answers, before leaning in for another kiss. A kiss that may have escalated a _little_ into a full-on make-out session. Alex couldn't find it in herself to complain and she counted her lucky stars that no one had come to check in on them.


	9. Non Quid Sed Quis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ready, set, action! One way or another, Astra is getting out of the DEO, today.   
> (Title is Latin for "Not what, but who.")

Ever since Jemm's outbreak, the DEO has left Astra to her own devices. No more Kryptonite emitters, no more supervision, not even a lock on the door. Astra is free to roam the headquarters as she pleases now, and though Director Henshaw - or whoever he might really be - had warned her not to make a move to escape, she knows they do not think she will.

The agents at their base are now armed with Kryptonite tranquilizers, and somewhere Astra is glad they do. They're not naive enough to trust her completely, but the fact that their precautions aren't meant to kill her is a major step forward.

While Astra is allowed to wander however, she finds herself in her cell most of the time. It's something she's familiar with, unlike the rest of the DEO where she feels rather out of place.

There's nothing for her to do.

The only real change in the past week - aside from hugging Kara at every presented opportunity; she'd almost forgotten how much she'd missed that - has been the sparring sessions. One of these had been with Kara, which had been more of a teaching moment for her niece than actual sparring as she had so much left to learn, but the majority had been with Alex. Alex, who never ceases to surprise her.

Literally; while Astra has much more experience than her, Alex had managed to defeat her with an unpredictable twist or turn more than once. It pleases Astra to know her soulmate can handle herself.

A reassurance that is much appreciated when the power goes out.

Again.

Astra stands in the opening of her tank and listens closely to the base, hearing the commotion of trying to get everything back online, frantic cursing because the emergency generators appear to be inaccessible and would need a manual rebooting as much as their main generator does. More cursing because what little technology doesn't rely on their generators is rendered as useless as the rest.

She doesn't have to guess what's happening, for a crash is audible and she can hear a familiar Kryptonian heartbeat.

"Non," she gasps, and the man in question bursts through the doors of her room barely a second later, undoubtedly having sped through the masses.

The masses that sound like they're busy fighting other soldiers, and she can feel the faint discomfort of Kryptonite in the distance. Good thing the tranquilizers had been standard-issue, for all their sakes.

"Astra." He sounds relieved, and he moves forward to embrace her, a sentiment she gladly reciprocates.

It's good to see him again.

She relishes the contact, the familiarity of his warmth and strong grip, until Non pulls away. "We have to move now, General, while their systems are still offline."

Astra sighs. She'd really wished this moment to last longer, even if it was only a second. "As much as I appreciate this... I can't leave, Non." The use of his name is a conscious decision, to appeal to him and not to her lieutenant. This is a personal matter.

There's a twitch in his jaw and he grasps her upper arms, looking into her eyes. "Listen, we've prepared everything we need for Myriad, you can execute it the moment we get back to Fort Rozz. I don't know what business you have with the humans, but it won't matter once Myriad has them under its influence. They will not be able to come for you again."

"I will not return to Fort Rozz," Astra reiterates with a shake of her head. "I found her, Non."

That statement gives him pause. The burning determination in his eyes makes place for momentary confusion and his grip on Astra loosens. Once the words really seem to settle Non softens, and it's a sight she hasn't seen in a long time. Decades, perhaps. "You found her?"

Astra nods.

Non sighs and smiles. There's something melancholic about it, an old hurt that will never quite heal: the loss of his own soul bond. But there's also something of relief there, a relief that Astra doesn't have to go through this particular brand of suffering any longer. "I'm glad you found her," he speaks honestly, "and I understand the need to be with her, but what of this world? It shall burn like Krypton without our interference, and we cannot execute Myriad without you. We were going to save and rule this planet. I urge you to reconsider."

She's reminded that Non knows how she works as much as Astra knows what makes him tick, and Astra aims her gaze downwards with a swallow. He knows she was never in this for ruling despite her many claims, like she knows neither he or her men were here for saving it simply because it's the right thing to do, that they required a compensation for their efforts in the form of power. It's why she picked them in the first place; power-hungry soldiers are easily manipulated.

But that also means they aren't likely to stop just because their General had a change of heart. There's really no use in trying to convince him Myriad isn't the way.

With a shake of her head, Astra looks back up at him. "My decision is final. I am staying here, and I intend to find a different way to save this planet."

Non clenches his jaw, his eyes searching hers, and he appears conflicted. It only lasts a second or so before he rights himself and his grip on Astra tightens. "Then you leave me no choice," Non hisses, "but to take you by force."

Astra doesn't hesitate to swing her lower arms out to get out from under his grip, speeding sideways to get away from the tank as to not accidentally back herself into a corner; she's far too experienced to make that rookie mistake.

She makes no other move to attack him, however. Despite their differences, she does not want to see him harmed or captured, much less in this moment when Non has come to break her out. Astra doesn't think it would be honorable to use this opportunity to take him down entirely.

"Leave," she growls out. "Now."

But Non shakes his head and sneers. "No. One way or another, this ends now."

He always was too stubborn and impulsive; no patience for proper strategy.

And so Non charges at her and Astra braces herself. He throws a punch at her head, one she ducks away from with ease before striking his solar plexus. The blow is hard enough to push him back a few feet, giving her enough time to right herself.

It's been a while since they've had a fight, let alone a serious one where harming the other is not a concern in the back of their minds.

As if that concern isn't still there, as if their shared history isn't weighing heavily on her shoulders, as if the decades they've spent together would suddenly fade from existence, or at least her memory.

However the fact is, he has made an enemy out of himself and does not give Astra much choice in her actions; the only thing she can choose is whether to stall, to apprehend him, or to kill him.

She hasn't made her decision yet, but Non isn't about to give her time to think about it as he kicks towards her side. Her inner conflict has slowed Astra down, and the move to deflect is too slow. She'd normally have ended this easily, would have caught his leg and brought him down, but now it's barely enough to keep the brunt of it from her torso.

There's no room for hesitation, there never is in battle.

It was a much needed wake-up call to focus on the situation fully, and when Non continues his series of attacks Astra is able to deflect and counter properly.

The punches and kicks hardly do anything for them despite the speed and strength behind it, and it makes Astra wonder if Non is as reluctant to fight her as she is.

No, as she _was_ ; she's made up her mind now. Non needs to be stopped, but she will not kill him.

Her eyes start boiling with heat while they are close to each other, grappling, and at point-blank range there isn't much time for Non to react. She holds on tight so he can't move away, and his attempt at countering with his own heat vision came too late.

Non howls in pain when the beams hit him in his eyes, and it's easy to take advantage of his imbalance to take him down now. Astra pushes him to the ground onto his stomach and settles on top of him, huffing out a breath when he makes a weak attempt to throw her off.

It's only now that she realizes she has nothing to restrain him with, beyond her own body.

Astra looks down at her (ex-?)husband, really looks at him, and finds he's hardly enraged anymore. He looks pained, for more reasons than his scorched eyes, and looks as defeated as she feels. "You should have left when you had the chance," she sighs, before applying a pressure to a spot at the side of his neck that renders him unconscious.

\-----

"Hello, humans."

The voice comes unexpectedly, and belongs to the blonde who just appeared on their screens. _All_ their screens - may they be part of the main frame or one of their phones - that were supposed to be without power. Alex studies the woman closely, her eyes narrowed as she observes her. It's not someone she's seen before, human or alien alike.

"You have something that belongs to us," the woman continues, seemingly disinterested until she looks at them, like she is looking from the screen rather than either a camera that could be angled at them or a lens. It's a little unsettling. "We've come to retrieve it."

Alex wants to ask what this woman wants, who 'we' is, but doesn't get the chance to when the building rumbles. There's about two dozen people that just crashed through the ceiling, all humanoid but none of them injured after the drop, which limits the pool of species they could be to a rather short list. Add how organized they are to the equation, and the only remaining result would be the Kryptonians from Fort Rozz.

She can see the woman is still on their screens, and there's a malicious smirk on her face. "Enjoy the fight," she purrs, before she _materializes_ from one of the screens and embodies a blue-skinned woman with red hair and some kind of glowing insignia on her forehead.

That seems to have been the cue for the rest of the soldiers to start attacking. "Use the Kryptonite!" J'onn calls out before engaging in a fight with one of the Kryptonians, reaching for a knife he's been carrying around with him.

There is no time to watch anywhere but in front of her however, and so Alex grabs the tranquilizer gun meant for Astra and starts shooting.

It's much easier said than done, what with their enhanced speed and reflexes, but she manages to knock two of them out before a woman has Alex in her grip, her eyes starting to glow.

She's braced herself for the inevitable hit, but before the Kryptonian's heat vision can ignite, she's knocked out cold.

Alex looks at the source of the dart and makes eye contact with Susan, giving her a grateful nod of acknowledgment, before getting back to shoot more of them.

The Kryptonians aren't holding back. Bodies of agents are being tossed about where others fail to cover them. Beams of heat are being fired left and right, ravaging the base, equipment on fire where they've missed their mark. Tranquilizer darts whizzing through the air as well as bullets from the ones who carry those, hitting the walls more than the soldiers, the radiation too little to affect their enemies in any noticeable ways.

J'onn, in the meantime, has gotten to the non-Kryptonian woman and has her in a chokehold, something she only seems to delight at. "You're a lot stronger than you look," she marvels.

He ignores her comment in favor of demanding knowledge. "How did you find us?" In a remote area, isolated from the rest of the internet, it was supposed to be impossible to locate them.

The woman lifts a hand, trailing a finger down his arm, and smiles as she looks at an agent behind him. "It only took one idiot playing _Candy Crush_." She sounds disgusted when naming the app.

J'onn risks a glance behind him, following her gaze to agent Reynolds. Suppressing a groan, he turns back to the woman.

Only a few Kryptonians are still standing, outnumbered by the agents, and she purses her lips. "Looks like the fun is over already. Time for me to go."

J'onn tightens his grip on her, but it doesn't prevent her from dematerializing back into the screen, and his hands close around thin air. He looks at the screen for a moment, narrowing his eyes, before handing the rest of the situation.

Alex and the other agents have just taken care of the last Fort Rozz escapees, and this is the first chance she's gotten to take note of the ones who'd been present. She looks around the room, seeing countless bodies lying on the floor either limply or writhing in pain.

She tries not to think about the men they've lost in this fight, focusing instead on the fallen Kryptonians. None of them fit Astra's description of Non, and her eyes widen as she remembers the woman's words. They hadn't come here to retrieve some _thing_ , but rather some _one_ , and if Non isn't here, that means this chaos was likely a distraction.

Alex doesn't hesitate when she sprints towards Astra's room, distantly registering that the Director has started to order to get the injured agents to the med bay and the unconscious Kryptonians in containment, but not caring enough to think about anything but Astra.

Astra, who has the codes to Myriad.

Astra, who wouldn't come willingly, not anymore.

Astra, her soulmate, who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, who is alone in her room as no one was there to guard her anymore, who possibly could have been taken by surprise or been outnumbered by god knows how many.

Astra.

Alex skids to a halt when she reaches the doors of the room, anxiety pooling low in her belly when she notices the damage. They'd definitely been here for Astra, and the crumpled up remains of the door were not a good sign whatsoever.

Bracing herself for the worst, she steps through the opening of the door.

The sight of Astra sitting on a bench on the side of the room, one leg swung casually over the other, with an unconscious - she hopes, he could be dead - Kryptonian man in front of her, one she can only assume to be Non, is not what she expected to find, but it's a major relief.

A relief she finds mirrored in Astra's posture, before the expression on the woman's face shifts to something more amused. "Took you long enough," she remarks as she gets to her feet, standing right behind the body on the floor. "You don't happen to have any cuffs on you, do you?"

Alex shakes her head as she studies the man - not dead, you don't need restraints for dead men - noticing the scorch marks around his eyes, which are the only visible injuries she can make out. She looks back up at Astra. "What happened here?"

"Non refused to leave without me," Astra explains, and she looks down at the man in question with a sigh. There's a hint of sadness or regret in her eyes, and Alex is reminded that this has been her husband for decades, a man who she clearly cared for and shared an extensive history with.

Soul-bound or not, Alex can't help but feel like she's intruding.

But then Astra looks back at her, continuing after those few beats of silence of looking at Non, "and I refused to leave you." There's a slight smile, and it's both a little sad and filled with adoration.

It makes Alex's heart surge, and while that feeling of being an intruder hasn't left, it's overshadowed by the fact that Astra chose _her_ despite all that history, despite that devotion they'd had to each other. Even if they've talked about it before, seeing it in action is kind of overwhelming, and she's not sure how to respond.

So instead she focuses on the task at hand. "I- We should get him into a containment unit."

Astra's face straightens as she crouches to hoist him up in the blink of an eye, nodding when she's back to her feet. "Of course. Lead the way."

\-----

With Non and the other hostiles stored away in containment, J'onn had called Alex and Astra over to his office for further details on what the Fort Rozz escapees could be planning next now that both their General and Lieutenant were gone.

"I don't believe there is anyone left that could seize control of the entirety of the troops," Astra informs him. "I give it a week before they resort to chaos and start turning on each other, another for them to give up and scatter."

"You don't think they will band together?"

Astra shakes her head. "Not at all, they do not have respect or patience for one another. The only thing they understand is power, and without the Kryptonians there is no such authority. At most there will be one or two squads that stick together, but even that is a stretch."

Her face contorted ever so slightly as she remembered what a pain it had been to get them together in the first place, to put non-military convicts into ranks as if they were soldiers rather than intergalactic criminals, to convince them their best chance was working together. Stronger together, she'd told them, and there was a certain irony to using the motto of the House of El, to preach what Alura had preached, to keep the convicts together through their jailor's beliefs.

At the time it had been a move of manipulation, twisting her sister's legacy to suit Astra's needs, but she's found more truth in those words than she was willing to admit.

J'onn nods his understanding and shifts slightly. "What about the blue woman?"

"The Coluan," she supplies, resisting the urge to worry her lip. "Indigo doesn't care for anyone but herself and whatever entertains her at that time. I doubt she'll return to Fort Rozz, but out of everyone she might be the biggest threat in how unpredictable she is."

Non used to be part of Indigo's entertainment, and she despised Astra for marrying him and taking that away. Astra doesn't doubt she got on Indigo's nerves once again, what with Non in the DEO's custody because of her. She wonders if Indigo will come after her for it, or if she'll go back to avoiding her and living in the shadows as she's done before.

"And Myriad?"

"Myriad should no longer pose a threat," she states, then closes her eyes briefly with a sigh. "I could help locate the remains, should you wish to destroy them."

Astra's spent so much time on that project, it's hard to let go even when she knows it isn't the way to go. There's quite a difference between choosing not to use it and getting rid of it entirely, but she knows it's not safe for the technology to simply linger. She herself has learned a lot from dismantling and deciphering existing technology, so someone else could just as easily do the same with hers, and she really does not trust anyone else with the ability to control the minds of an innumerable amount of people.

"Good," J'onn notes before opening a drawer below his desk. "Once things settle down, I will assemble a team to do so, but until then..." After some minor rummaging, the Director pulls out a file and presents a small stack of papers to Astra.

She furrows her brows as she looks them over, and she can feel more so than see Alex close in to read them too.

Alex raises her head to look back at J'onn when she seems to realize what they are, while Astra continues reading. "Release forms?"

"Do you object?"

"Not at all, its just sooner than I expected."

"She's given us no reason to believe she is a threat. Not only did she come willingly, she had the chance to escape twice and chose to stay and help us instead," J'onn explains. "We have no reason to keep her now that Myriad is off the table."

Astra wanted to argue that she could still implement the program, theoretically speaking. All necessary components were ready and waiting for her back at Fort Rozz, and she doubts the other escapees will argue with her even if Indigo has told them of her betrayal, but the argument dies in her throat as she reads the conditions of her release.

They're only mildly intrusive, all things considered, although they sound more like assimilation to her than parole. Sure, she's not allowed to get into any trouble for the coming months, and these terms seem to imply some method of monitoring her every move, but the clause of not using her powers whatsoever and therefore having to utilize human means to get by is a bit excessive for simple parole.

It's fair, but she can't say she's very fond of the idea. Instead of flying, she might have to learn how to drive one of those metal contraptions the humans are so inclined to use for transportation. No using windows for entering buildings either; she'll have to use the door. Worse still, she will have to climb staircases without using her speed, or wait for elevators to get to the door in the first place.

The inconvenience of it all is already starting to grate.

Astra sighs when she's finished looking it over to her satisfaction, meaning the entire thing is committed to memory. "And just how will you be checking all of this?"

"With this." He pulls out a pair of black sturdy bracelets from the file, smirking as he presents them. No Kryptonite, she notices. "You'll be required to wear it at all times. It will keep track of your vitals and location, among other things," J'onn explains as he holds up the first one, one that noticeably lacks a display, before raising the other one that does have a display and continuing, "and relays that information to this one. It will send out a distress signal upon noticing any suspicious behavior, unless agent Danvers dismisses it."

Astra glances at Alex upon that mention, noticing her mate barely reacts to this new information. "So that's why I'm really here, you need me for human feedback," Alex says.

"Yes. We can't come running every time Ms. In-Ze has a good work-out, after all. Dismissing the distress signal gives you 30 minutes, so keep that in mind should the two of you engage in any... stimulating activities."

Alex's face contorts into something of disgust at that, and Astra would laugh if it wasn't quite so horrific to think about the DEO barging in - J'onn ahead of the group as he had when she'd first encountered him - while they were having sex.

Putting that thought out of her mind, Astra sighs and gives the papers one last look-over. "This all appears agreeable to me. It mentions finding housing may take some time, how long would that be?"

"A few weeks, most likely."

Astra's face falls at that, nodding her head once and letting it drop, worrying her lip. She was hoping she could get out of this place sooner rather than later, and that's longer than she'd hoped.

There's a hand on her shoulder that draws her attention then, and she raises her head to look at Alex, who seems to avoid her eyes despite initiating the contact. "You could stay with me?" Alex suggests meekly, only then meeting her eyes. "Until you find a place of your own, I mean. That should be possible, right?" Her voice sounds increasingly frantic, gaze shifting between J'onn and Astra.

A quick glance at J'onn tells her he has no objections, and so it's Astra's turn to reach out for Alex this time. Her hand cups her cheek, and the gentleness of it is enough to startle Alex and give her pause. Astra smiles softly then, "I'd love to stay with you, Alex."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Apologies for the longer wait than usual, I was struggling with the last third of the chapter, the rest has been written and lying around for a few weeks (burnt myself out a little, creatively speaking, but hey a month isn't too bad, right?)
> 
> I wanted to post another chapter before GDW starts, so I can inform y'all that I'll be taking a brief break from this fic in favor of gathering myself for participating. I'm aiming for participating all days, so look forward to that \o/ Are you guys excited for GDW? I know I am :P


	10. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking for fluff? You found it. Astra moves in with Alex, and game night makes an appearance.

Alex unlocks the door of her apartment steadily and pushes it open, stepping inside and making an immediate right turn. “Make yourself at home,” she says with an offhanded gesture towards the open space when Astra follows her in, letting her take it in.

The first thing Astra notes is that the apartment isn’t all that big for a place to live. The Kryptonian apartments had much more space even in their smallest residences, with at least three separated rooms. It hadn’t occurred to her that humans live much more compressed in their layered buildings, functionality clearly prioritized over any comfort.

That said, she can’t deny it has its own appeal despite the size of it. It’s one big open space, furnished to the brim, but not to the point of it being too crowded, instead making it feel significantly more cozy. There’s a sitting area near a fireplace, a dining area that is separated by the couch, a cooking area that appears to double as a bar of sorts, and an elevated sleeping area in the back, separated by a few steps. There is only one enclosed space, and Astra thinks she can safely assume that to be the bathroom.

It’s small for a home, but it occurs to Astra that it’s a lot bigger than the tight space she’s resided in the last few decades. It was never meant to be a home, Fort Rozz, and it never felt like one, but fact of the matter is that during the 37 years spent in there, only 25 of those were against her own volition.

Not a home, but the stability it provided was a mild comfort nonetheless. The stability of a place to go, one that she was in control of. The stability of her cell, the harsh bed and the small enclosed space. The stability of always having to be on high alert even when resting.

A stability that is now gone.

She is no longer welcome in Fort Rozz even if she wanted to return there, and she’s no longer confined to a glass cage in the DEO either, a substitute similar enough to be familiar. Instead she’s here in an apartment, free to roam as she pleases with so many places to sit or even lie down, with so much space to walk around, with so much comfort.

It’s also a lot less quiet here; rather than the uninhabited place where Fort Rozz settled, or the desert the DEO was located, this was in the heart of the city. There was a constant buzz of driving cars, a chirping of birds, and a cacophony of various other noises coming from the environment.

Alex’s apartment is everything Fort Rozz wasn’t, and Astra isn’t sure how to make herself at home in such a place anymore.

Alex.

Astra turns to find her sitting at the counter, leaning back and watching her. Alex is the one thing - or rather, person - that has some sort of stability left. One or two months isn’t a lot of time, and these new circumstances will undoubtedly shift their dynamic, but it’s the only familiarity she can hold onto.

It’s this she has in mind when she approaches Alex. In a sea of change she is not only a raft of familiarity, the changes that are to come in regards to her are exciting ones, ones that Astra welcomes with open arms. Gone are whatever restrictions that remained in place, gone are all the prying eyes that regarded their every move.

It’s just the two of them, at last.

Alex seems to have a similar realization because as Astra closes in Alex does too, getting up from her stool with eyes that are growing hungrier by the second, meeting each other halfway.

There is nothing gentle about the way their lips crash into each other, not like the previous times. There’s no desperation, nor is it admiration; it’s solace, and a sating to their mutual hunger. Lips separate and meet again, frantically seeking each other out, and Astra gasps when Alex sucks on her lower lip to bite down on it.

Astra’s hands clutch the sides of Alex’s shirt, clinging to her mate for dear life; she’s never felt this unstable on her feet before, and Astra feels like they’ll give out from under her if Alex doesn’t support her, if Alex’s body doesn’t stay pressed against hers, if Alex stops kissing her.

Alex turns them around to press Astra against the nearest wall - the one next to the entrance - and she meets no resistance. It’s like Astra’s forgotten she possesses a strength equal to none, like it doesn’t exist in this moment, and if she thought she felt weak in her knees before, that feeling increases when Alex moves down to her neck and sucks and bites on the skin there.

She can’t bruise, they both know it, but that doesn’t change the sensations Astra feels, or the vigor Alex uses in the assault on her pulse point.

Rao, Astra wants to tear her clothes off right now, but not like this.

She allows herself to linger for a little longer, letting her head fall back against the wall for a moment, before she detaches Alex from herself. Alex practically lunges for her lips, hungry and eager, and Astra laughs softly against her lips. “Alex,” she murmurs in between kisses, voice husky from her own desire, “we should slow down.”

Another few kisses follow before Alex pulls back, resting her forehead against Astra’s. “You’re right,” Alex says, catching her breath for a second or two, then separating and dragging her along by one of her wrists. “Come on.”

Astra lets herself be led, and perhaps she shouldn’t have been surprised to see Alex lead them up the steps. She’s pulled into another searing kiss by the time they’re next to the bed, and Alex pushes her onto it with a surprising amount of force.

It’s the beginning of a long night - which includes several dismissals of Astra’s security alert - one that ends with the two of them falling asleep, naked and sated.

\-----

“Just black, right?”

Astra nods from her slouched position on the couch, leaning on the right armrest heavily as she studies the crossword puzzle she is currently working on.

Alex had introduced her to various puzzles during her time in the DEO, and by far these were the most interesting to Astra. Krypton hadn’t had the same focus on entertainment, and therefore didn’t have anything similar to these very visually oriented puzzles. She’d admired the work that had gone into creating just one, all the while brushing up on her English vocabulary, and so these crosswords held her preference.

She is currently stuck on this particular puzzle, unable to think of the remaining words based on the letters she’s already got in place. Her gaze wanders as her focus does, and it falls upon the pictures atop Alex’s fireplace.

Astra’d noticed them before, but during the ten days she’s been here she hasn’t actually really looked at them yet, too concerned with other matters. There are five of them, and three of them contain a teenaged Kara, but there is one that stands out to Astra.

It’s what she can only assume to be a family picture. Young, sweet Kara, so reminiscent of the child she remembers, standing among two adults - Alex’s parents she assumes, as they appear in the other pictures as well - and a brunette of similar age, who is bound to be young Alexandra and only appears in that one picture.

“Kal-El took that picture right before he left her with us.”

Alex’s voice startles her out of her focus and Astra spares a glance at her, noticing she’s just placed her coffee in front of her and is casually sipping her own next to Astra. Astra looks at her expectantly, and isn’t disappointed when Alex continues.

“I wasn’t sure what to do with her at first,” Alex admits, her expression rather grim. “Suddenly there was this strange and lonely girl I was supposed to look out for and treat like a sister, and we didn’t even speak the same language. She became the priority.”

Astra looks back at the picture, and her brows furrow. It was painful to think about how Kara had been all alone when she came to this world; Astra’d at least had her husband and the other convicts, and while that was hardly a comfort, she hadn’t been alone in her loss. She can’t imagine what it must have been like for Kara, but trying to imagine it had made her heart pang in her chest every time.

Hearing it confirmed only made that worse.

While she is grateful to the Danvers for taking her in, and so happy Kara has been welcome in a family here on this planet, Alex’d had no control over this and clearly hadn’t appreciated it at the time. The remaining bitterness is palpable, and while you wouldn’t be able to guess it now, while she and Kara looked thick as thieves, it shouldn’t have had to be this way.

“I should have been there for her,” Astra sighs mournfully.

“You should have.” Alex doesn’t attempt to sugarcoat it, which Astra is grateful for. “But you weren’t, just like Kal-El wasn’t, and just like I wasn’t.”

“You were a child, Alex,” _but I wasn’t_. Astra bites her tongue on that one, unwilling to make this about herself when she wishes to reassure Alex. Kara may have appeared to forgive her, but Astra has not forgiven herself for this, and does not think she deserves any form of mercy for it, compassion included. “That responsibility should not have fallen on you.”

When Astra looks back at her she can see Alex has closed off completely, and so she looks back at the pictures, looking at the one that has a young Kara sitting on a bench instead. A change of subject could do them both good, Astra thinks. “What about that one?”

She knows it’s the right choice when Alex’s expression clears up and she starts to tell the story of Kara’s first trip to a park. Astra still aches for having missed all of this, but she’s happy to hear this lighthearted story. There’s still time for her and her niece to make good memories, and Astra is determined to do so now.

\-----

It’s another week later when they’re lounging on the couch together, Alex settled against Astra, her head resting on her chest. The sound of the TV show they are currently watching - Scorpion - fills the apartment, and it’s the only thing Alex hears aside from Astra’s relaxed breaths.

Alex decides she quite likes this position they’re in, not only having the cushioning of her couch but also the warmth and comfort of Astra, this time not pressing against her like a heavy blanket. Not that she minds it when the roles are reversed, not in the slightest, most of the time Alex actually prefers to be the one holding Astra, but she has to admit that this is nicer than she expected it to be.

The show is mere background noise at this point; Alex can’t help that her focus drifts in the comfort of Astra’s arms. The gentle rise and fall of her chest is very soothing, as is the soft thud of her heartbeat beneath her ear. Alex could stay here for a long time without any complaints whatsoever.

In between all the softness and gentleness of this moment, it’s hard to remember that Astra is actually a battle-hardened General, that this is a side only those Astra cares about get to see, which Alex is fortunate enough to be included in.

But that’s not to say she doesn’t remember Astra’s fierceness, that she doesn’t enjoy the many sparring matches they’ve had that ranged from playful to serious matches where they’re going all-out, because she does. Remembering the sheer power this woman holds makes something stir pleasantly inside of Alex.

Once again Alex considers how lucky she’s gotten with her soulmate, and how their blooming relationship seems to be working out great so far.

A sappy train of thought that is interrupted when her phone rings, and Alex groans at the discovery that Kara has changed her ringtone again, this time to ‘I’ll Never Stop’ from NSYNC. She can feel more so than hear Astra huff out her amusement before she is able to stop the tune by answering the thing. “How the hell did you get a hold of my phone again, Kara?”

“ _Hello to you too, Alex_ ,” comes Kara’s amused reply, and Alex can feel Astra shift to mute the TV, something her human ears appreciate. “ _I was wondering if you were up for game night? It’s been too long_.”

That doesn’t answer her question, and this time Alex is genuinely wondering how Kara managed to grab her phone. She’s practically had the device glued to her side since she last threatened Kara not to change it to an NSYNC song again, and she can’t think of any opportunities Kara could have had.

It’s irrelevant though, so she puts that aside and makes a mental note to change it back to something more appropriate. Instead, she chooses to focus on something that does matter. “Is Lucy going to be there?”

There’s a brief silence, and Alex thinks Kara must be blushing furiously. It’s almost embarrassing how in love Kara is with her soulmate, but when Astra wraps her arms around her again and Alex sinks into her hold she realizes she isn’t that much better.

“ _She is_ ,” Kara answers after a few beats. “ _You could bring Astra, I bet she’s been dying to meet her_.”

Alex hums and pulls the phone from her ear, turning her head in an attempt to look at Astra, but finding it impossible to do so. “Hey Astra, would you-“

“I would love to.”

She didn’t even have to finish her sentence. Taking a deep breath, Alex closes her eyes briefly. Of course the Kryptonian’d heard everything, how could she possibly forget after having gone through similar things during the years of living with Kara? This might as well be a three-way phone call.

At the very least Astra, like Kara, had the decency to wait until prompted.

Opening her eyes again, Alex continues. “I take it you heard that?”

“ _Yep, see you two tonight! Love you_.”

“Love you too, Kara.” Having said that, Alex returns the phone to her pocket and curls back into Astra, who promptly adjusts to make it more comfortable for the both of them. “Now, where were we?”

“I was hoping you could tell me. Should we start over?”

“Don’t care,” Alex murmurs, “so long as we stay like this.”

That prompts a barely audible chuckle, “I can agree to that.”

\-----

“-And that makes ten points,” Astra concludes, grinning triumphantly as she sits back down after placing her last settlement, the other five gaping at her. “I told you I had a strategy.”

Kara’d proposed playing Settlers of Catan with the six of them - Alex and Astra, Kara and Lucy, James, and Winn - despite not having the expansion available and therefore limiting them to four players. Lucy’d teamed up with Kara, Winn with James, and Alex and Astra played on their own.

Alex had, of course, offered to play with Astra as she’d never played before, but once the rules were explained to her she was adamant about trying it out alone.

Allowing that to happen had been their first mistake.

Their second mistake had been underestimating her when she only sided with four of the five resources upon set-up, and when the dice seemed to favor everyone but her.

The last had been antagonizing her by blocking off one of her resources. She’d been playing for fun initially, they all had, but it had been Alex to turn it competitive, something she’d quickly learned to regret.

Astra’d absolutely annihilated them after that, her supplies of grain and ore appearing to be never ending at that point, serving her well in both upgrading the settlements to cities and trade, especially once she got a hold of that generic port as she hadn’t been big on trading with other players.

Her start-up might have been slow, but once that ball had gotten rolling there’d been no stopping it. She’d earned her last two points in one turn, when she’d been tied for first place with Kara.

“I saw it happen, yet I still don’t understand how she did that,” James says, sounding utterly confused, and Alex can’t blame him for she’s still trying to wrap her head around it herself.

Lucy scrunches up her nose as she speaks, brushing it off, “it’s just beginner’s luck.”

“I don’t know about that, Luce, she got pretty unlucky,” Kara intercepts, still staring at the board in thought. Rather than look at Lucy she turns to Astra, grinning. “I think we went too easy on her, had we taken her seriously sooner we would have won.”

Astra mirrors her grin. “Is that a challenge, Little One?”

Something sparks in Kara’s eyes, and Alex is glad that these two are just engaging in something playful, because she knows that look on Kara. That look means trouble; not so much for them as for their surroundings.

Alex doesn’t think she needs to warn Astra, though, for it appears Kara takes after her aunt in that regard.

“You bet it is,” Kara says, before looking away and looking between the rest of them instead as she continues. “Everyone else up for another round?”

Alex knows they’re going to gang up on Astra when Lucy, Winn, and James agree immediately. There’s no conceivable way she’ll win this round, simply because she’s become the focus. Part of her wants to take advantage of this and claim the win for herself, but the larger part of her wants to see Astra crush them a second time, just to spite them.

Well, to spite Kara, mainly; she’s usually the one to beat them mercilessly.

“Alright,” Alex agrees, smirking at Astra. “One more game to see if the General can live up to her rank.”

Astra glares at her, but it lacks the intimidating heat she has when she’s serious, rather giving off a more playful vibe. “Oh, I will.”

And she did. With Alex’s subtle allegiance - choosing to sabotage Kara rather than go for Astra like the others, as well as making the occasional mutually-beneficial trade - she won with approximately the same margin she’d won the first round with.

They hadn’t dared question her victory again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back in business, baby! And for once I didn't let y'all wait an extra month. Did you all enjoy General Danvers Week? I know I did, there's so much new content, it's amazing ^_^
> 
> I have not managed to finish the fic (I did not, in fact, write 4 chapters as I joked, just the one actually), but I did get the time to fully work out how the rest of the story is going to go, so I've officially added a chapter count. I'm about 85% sure that's going to be it, so there's that now
> 
> Either way I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!


	11. Trouble in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They may be soulmates, but that does not mean everything is smooth sailing all the time, featuring Kara.  
> Also never go on a double date with a family member, featuring Kara and Lucy.

Astra has never been one to move during her sleep, not one to writhe and stir restlessly even as her worst nightmares play out in her mind’s eye, and tonight is no different. Her body lies still, though completely stiff, something you wouldn’t notice unless you actually bothered to pay attention.

What you would notice however, were the expressions on her face. Depending on the moment they could range from merely being disturbed to being in great pain. What you would also definitely notice, were the sounds that accompanied those expressions, especially of the latter. Starting out as soft distressed whimpers these sounds increased the longer it went on, to frantic whispers, to spoken ‘no’s, until eventually she’s crying out. The screaming can go on for quite a while, but tonight is not one of those nights.

Tonight there are flashes of finding out Krypton is dying, of the horrific feelings that had accompanied that, of how incredibly overwhelming all of that had been. Of the horror she’d felt when their leaders valued their greed more than the planet’s state of being. Of the rage she’d felt when her own sister condemned her to Fort Rozz and kept her from saving Krypton, of the utter despair and terrifying helplessness she’d felt when she was forced to watch the planet explode from a distance.

Astra jerks awake mid-cry, something she stifles with great effort, morphing it into something more akin to a gasp. That concoction of feelings does not let up, coursing through her body and making it hard to think, to breathe, to focus on anything beyond those flashes.

The darkness of the room registers, matching the darkness of the Phantom Zone, and it’s hard to remember she’s not actually there. Astra tries to remind herself that she woke up, actually woke up rather than drift between the states of dream and reality without much difference, but it barely calms her down enough to realize Alex has woken up as well, rising to sit upright by her side and give her gentle reassurances of her present circumstances.

A realization that makes place for some mild feelings of humiliation. It’s not the first time Alex has seen her this way - far from it - and she’s never made Astra feel less for it, which is greatly appreciated, but it’s a weakness Astra despises for lingering, despite the many years that passed. She feels like this is some sort of punishment for failing Krypton when she could have saved it, if only she’d prepared a little more, if only she’d worked slightly faster, if only, if only, if only…

There’s a gentle touch on her left upper arm that distracts her from those thoughts long enough to look at Alex. There is no pity there, there never is, but her expression makes Astra aware of what’s going to happen before it does; Alex pulls her into her arms and lays them back down, starting to rub soothing circles on her back. Astra doesn’t resist, burying her face in the crook of Alex’s neck, like she can hide from her memories there. It doesn’t work that way, Astra knows that, but it’s a comfort nonetheless.

Alex’s skin is soft, a kind of soft that she has no extraterrestrial comparison for, the only equals being Earthly. Everything on Krypton was harder, compressed by their gravity, and Fort Rozz was no different, emulating the same force to keep them grounded. They had pillows and blankets of course, and it’s not like there wasn’t anything soft, but it was different, and not as warm to the touch.

That, and there wasn’t any blood pumping in those inanimate things. The subtle movement of blood pumping through Alex’s veins was something she could only perceive here on Earth, a constant reminder of where she was. The pace is soothing, and Astra can feel her own heart calm down as Alex’s is still slowing down too; the screaming must have startled her mate, and she feels slightly guilty for that.

“I’m sorry for waking you, Alex,” she murmurs against her skin.

She can feel Alex shake her head slightly, the soothing circles on Astra’s back slowing as Alex speaks. “It’s fine, it’s not like you have much control over this.”

Astra gives a non-committal hum, nuzzling further into her neck. She does want to have control over it, if only to keep from waking Alex at least once a week, but she doesn’t feel deserving of being cut some slack in that regard. Those nightmares are a just consequence of her failings, she thinks.

Not that she wants to tell Alex about that.

So instead Astra remains silent, shifting her focus back to Alex’s heartbeat and breathing to soothe her mind and body. The patterns lull her back into a sense of calm, and she can feel her consciousness slipping away slowly. Her earlier panic and despair, while not completely dissipated, has been overtaken by a sense of safety from Alex’s presence and continued physical contact, a tether to reality. Surely a few peaceful cycles of sleep could be within reach like this.

But it wasn’t meant to be, and Astra can feel Alex’s muscles tense slightly a few seconds before she speaks, like Alex was bracing herself for the response to her words. “Have you ever considered treatment for these nightmares?”

Astra sighs against her skin, keeping her eyes closed. She already misses the quiet calm that came before, and takes one more moment to linger in it - a long moment, though somehow still not long enough - before pulling away enough to look at Alex. She’s careful to keep her features schooled. “Have you?” Astra fires back, sounding slightly aggravated, but also curious. When she continues it’s softer, only the curiosity left. “For the grief regarding your father?”

She can feel Alex tense completely, and even in the darkness Astra can see her walls go up. It’s so fast that not even a beat passes before her next words come out, impulsive and thoughtless. “How’s your grief with Krypton going?”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, Alex looks regretful, but it’s too late.

Astra’s eyes darken, narrowing at Alex, and there’s a growl bubbling in her throat. Her jaw clenches harshly, as do her fists, and she snarls. The need to lash out is burning beneath her skin, the feelings of helplessness and despair returning full force, only serving to feed her frustration and anger.

“Astra, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

She raises a hand to silence Alex, and huffs. Astra doesn’t want to fight Alex, not at - she glances at the clock, not actually having a clue what time it is - 4.27 at night. Extracting herself from Alex’s hold, and the bed as a whole, she gets to her feet and walks down the steps of the bedroom area, instead settling on the couch in a way that she won’t be able to see Alex and pretend she doesn’t exist.

Alex can still see her, of course, and Astra curses the lack of doors in these living quarters. If she could she’d go elsewhere to throw some punches right now, or fly a few laps around the planet, but she’s not allowed to use any of her powers, which makes this rather difficult. So instead she relies on the one thing that never failed her; freezing everything and everyone out.

Sleep was not something that came to her for the rest of the night, and if the incessant shifting behind her was any indication, Alex didn’t have much luck either. Had things gone differently, both of them would be sleeping peacefully in each other’s arms by now.

Part of Astra ached to go back and have that happen anyway, to simply forgive the thoughtless mistake she’d know it to be if she gave it any thought, and curl back into that soothing warmth. Another more stubborn part overruled that however and kept her on the couch, staring ahead of her furiously.

Seething in anger was easy, rationality was not.

\-----

She’d been ignored.

From the moment Astra got up until the moment Alex left for work, all her attempts at trying to talk to Astra had been futile. Apologies passed without acknowledgment, offers of coffee were heard but ignored, only resulting in Astra making a cup of her own, and proffered food remained untouched.

Until Alex looked away, that is.

Stubborn Kryptonian.

Alex’d given up in the end; if Astra felt so inclined to ignore her, there was nothing she could do but give her space and let Astra come back to her. Which included not worrying about what Astra was doing the moment she noticed her GPS tracker moving away from her apartment, without any supervision, considering Kara was here at the DEO with her.

She herself is sitting at the table in her lab, attempting to go over the calculations and formulas that were written in her notes, needing to check and double-check them. The emphasis is on attempting, for she finds herself unable to focus on anything she is supposed to be doing, instead staring at the notes like they will imprint themselves into her mind that way. Into her very distracted mind, which keeps going back to the way Astra’s eyes had darkened at the mention of Krypton, and the fury behind them in the morning.

She’d really fucked up. Astra’s question had merely come from a place of interest, but her father was a very sore topic of conversation, so she’d just… reacted and lashed out. Alex really should know better than to let her emotions get the best of her, her mother had taught her better than that. Or rather, her mother’d demanded she be better at it, and so Alex taught herself to get more control over it.

A control that’d slipped somewhere around college, along with everything else in her life at the time, and clearly hadn’t returned last night.

“Are you okay?”

Alex jumps. In between trying to focus on her notes and getting distracted by thoughts of Astra, she hadn’t heard Kara come in, or at the very least hadn’t registered the sounds. Abandoning her notes, Alex pushes her chair back a little and turns towards her, putting her arm on top of the backrest. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“You’re moping,” Kara points out.

Frowning, Alex scrunches up her nose in distaste. “Am not.”

“Are too,” she shoots back with a teasing grin, clearly waiting for Alex to dismiss it and engage in a good old pointless quarrel.

Instead Alex sighs. “Fine, maybe I’m moping.”

“Did something happen with Astra?”

A nod, before she leans her head on the elevated arm. “I fucked up, sis. She brought up my father and I… Well, you know how I can get when I’m defensive.”

Kara actually cringes, likely remembering more than just one occasion, many of which would probably involve Eliza. Fighting seemed to be somewhat of a default for Alex and her mother, and Kara’s presence had never been a deterrent. “Have you tried apologizing?”

“Of course,” Alex huffs. “She’s ignoring me.”

“That bad?”

“Worse, probably.”

Kara smiles sympathetically. “She’ll come around eventually.” A moment passes, and she suddenly grows serious. “When she does, you better fix this, Alex. I won’t be picking sides between the two of you.”

Before Alex can answer, Vasquez pops her head in. “Ma’ams, Director Henshaw calls for you, there’s an alien hostile on the loose.”

Alex rises from her chair and nods at Susan, before putting a hand on Kara’s shoulder and looking back at her. “It won’t come to that,” she reassures. “Now let’s go kick some alien ass.”

\-----

The smell of nature had been a calming one from the moment she arrived. It wasn’t anything she’d smelled before, this scent that was filled with life, alongside the vivid greens her eyes fell upon, as unfamiliar as the smell. The constant chatter of birds helped complete the scene, making it the perfect place to find serenity.

As unfamiliar as it was back then, it’s how familiar it is now to Astra, except a different kind of familiar. It’s typical to Earth and only Earth - or well, Earth and a few other planets that she hasn’t spent enough time on to grow familiar with.

The general lack of humans is appealing too, away from the racket of the city, which is reduced to a distant background noise in here.

Sitting on a bench, surrounded by all of this, Astra is trying to clear her mind, or at the very least keep it from straying towards unwanted thoughts. Unwanted thoughts that currently included anything relating to Alex, as that would undoubtedly stray to even less wanted thoughts of a certain planet that is no longer present in the universe, or the people that used to inhabit it.

It’s been a long time since she tried to meditate, never quite finding the patience for it, but with the current conditions of her freedom there aren’t many options. She can’t fly away, roaming the planet and go wherever she pleased. She also can’t do anything strenuous without supervision, which she currently did not have, nor desired, making it impossible to work out.

Needless to say she is impossibly restless, and this meditating business is not going well whatsoever.

Sighing, Astra lets her head fall back, eyes falling upon a pair of birds. Crows, she believes, though her knowledge on Earth’s avian species is still somewhat lacking. Too many species to count and remember, though she’d made a good effort to remember the most common and most exceptional. Crows were the intelligent ones that valued shiny objects, she thinks. Or was that the raven? Perhaps both?

_‘If you can reach for the phone, you don’t have to be alone.’_

Astra startles slightly as the foreign song starts playing, the noise evidently coming from the device in her pocket. Pulling it out quickly, she gives it a strange look when it displays Kara’s name. Astra could swear she had a different ringtone for her niece, and the phone hasn’t left her sight.

She’s starting to understand Alex’s frustrated confusion every time Kara pulls that stunt.

It takes her a second to snap out of it and actually answer the call. Confused or not, there’s a warmth in Astra’s chest that always accompanies her niece’s presence, and it’s one of the very few people she does not mind talking to today. “Hello, Little One. I see you found a way to access my phone, too.”

There’s a stifled chuckle on the other end, so very reminiscent of the mischievous little girl she used to know. It brings a smile to Astra’s face, one she isn’t even aware of. _“Four zeros isn’t exactly a secure pin code, aunt Astra.”_

“I had thought it being owned by a Kryptonian General would be secure enough,” she shoots back, subconsciously puffing up her chest in pride when she mentions the title she’d worked so hard to achieve. “I could implement several layers of security, but all that would do is irritate me every time I’d have to unlock the device.”

That, and Astra has no doubt Kara would eventually find a way to bypass that security anyway - what’s a little primitive technology to a prodigy of their people? - rendering it completely useless, and therefore only a hindrance to Astra herself.

Another, slightly less-concealed chuckle. _“Your choice.”_

Shaking her head, Astra lets herself relax on the bench, leaning against the boards meant to support one’s back. A beat passes where she revels in the lightheartedness of the conversation, but Astra doubts this call was exclusively meant for pleasantries. “Was there something you needed, Kara?”

_“Just wanted to check in with you, are you doing okay?”_

Definitely not simply meant for pleasantries. “I am,” Astra answers stiffly, “why wouldn’t I be?”

A sigh. _“I talked to Alex, she told me you’re freezing her out.”_

Alex confided in Kara, of course she did, they’re sisters, it makes sense. Yet it makes a part of her ache, an old hurt as the memories of Alura confiding in her surface, and those of Astra confiding in her in turn. The only person she’d been comfortable sharing everything with, without reservations.

She stops her train of thought with a shake of her head, knowing it will spiral downward quickly from there on, to the memories she’s so desperately trying to keep at bay.

“No need to worry about it, Little One,” Astra says, shifting to her former terse position. She tried to sound convincing, but failed utterly; even to herself it sounded fabricated.

_“Too late,”_ Kara sighs. _“Look, just give her another chance, okay? You know she didn’t mean to hurt you.”_

Astra grits her teeth. She knows Kara means well, but this is exactly the opposite of what she was trying to do, which was not thinking about what happened. The urge to snap at her is present, to hiss that all she needs some space, that Alex should have known better, or to retaliate with some scathing comment that would hurt Kara, but she bites that back. Astra doesn’t want to deal any more damage to their already fragile relationship, and on top of that she simply isn’t deserving of such treatment.

A warning blip from her bracelet distracts her momentarily and she looks at it with a frown, wondering what the little thing could be complaining about. It’s only then that she notices the wood beneath her hand has splintered from the force she’d subconsciously been exerting.

With a harsh clenching of her jaw, she forces herself to calm down and take deep breaths, releasing her grip. It wouldn’t do to summon the DEO here, or alert the handler she’s been trying to avoid. Four seconds in, hold for seven, then eight seconds out.

And again.

Kara’s been distracted on the other end of the line, and Astra can make out a cacophony of voices in the background now that she’s capable of paying attention again. She can just make out the words ‘Fort Rozz’ and ‘alien hostile’ before Kara speaks. _“I’m sorry, aunt Astra, I’ve got to go. Call me if you need anything, okay?”_

“I will,” Astra assures quickly, more out of time pressure and not wanting to argue than anything. The chances of it actually happening are approximately zero percent, one if you’re being generous. “I love you, Kara.”

_“Love you too.” Click._

Sighing heavily, Astra returns her phone to its designated pocket. Despite its promising start, that phone call hadn’t made her feel any better, worse if anything. Kara had a point of course; Alex had been trying to be helpful prior to, and after that comment, but for now she isn’t ready to face her. And so Astra went back to distracting herself, giving up on the idea of meditation.

Perhaps some of those yoga poses would prove to be more effective.

\-----

Silence is the only thing that greets Alex when she returns home after a long day of chasing down their first Fort Rozz escapee in a while. It should be a sign that things are breaking down at the Fort, that they are starting to scatter and become relatively harmless individual threats. Emphasis on relatively, she has a blooming bruise on her shoulder to show for it.

Astra is already home, settled on the couch with her crosswords. Alex is pleased to see she’s wearing some of her civilian clothing - a grey shirt and some light jeans, both plastered onto her figure like a second skin, because apparently loose clothing makes her uncomfortable - that she presumably hasn’t changed out of since her little trip earlier today.

She makes no acknowledgment of noticing Alex’s presence, only moving to fill in something on her puzzle.

So Alex opts to stay quiet, resolving not to speak until Astra does so first, and steps towards the counter to make herself some coffee instead of futilely trying to ask what her soulmate has been up to.

When she takes a look at the machine she’s surprised to find there’s a brew still sitting in the pot. Alex reaches out to check the temperature from the outside and notices it’s still warm, almost hot even; it couldn’t have been finished more than five minutes ago.

With a slightly confused frown Alex looks over her shoulder to Astra, who still hasn’t moved from her spot. There’s a cup of coffee standing next to her on the table that she hadn’t noticed before, and it makes Alex wonder; Astra would’ve heard her enter the city at least 15 minutes ago, so had she timed this purposefully? Or had she just been craving coffee and has the ignoring gotten to a point where she tunes Alex out completely?

Shaking her head at that thought Alex pours herself a cup, adding the necessary creamer and sugar. How Astra prefers hers to be black will forever remain a mystery to her, the taste much too potent to be pleasant. Alex _can_ bear with it, but that doesn’t mean she wants to when there’s a choice.

Alex settles on the chair in the living area, pulling her right knee up to her chest and holding her coffee on top of it with both hands, the warmth seeping through soothingly. She hopes her presence there will prompt Astra to speak eventually, because if the silence bugged her before, it’s only worse now that she’s actually in her near vicinity.

Alex is watching her as she takes a sip of the beverage, and oh, Astra is really starting to get the hang of brewing coffee, because this is a good cup. She’d wonder if Astra’d cheated by using her heat vision, but she would have gotten an alert from that, so it had to be authentic. Astra, for her part, is still sitting silent and unmoving, save for the occasional glancing up when she’s trying to search her memory for whatever word she’s looking for.

A few minutes pass like that, with Alex staring and Astra seemingly ignoring it, until she looks straight at her puzzle for a good while and Alex sees her eyes twitch during it.

She knows that move, and Alex almost laughs at how similar Astra and Kara are sometimes. Kara used to do that when they were younger, using her super-speed to take a quick glance at her and expecting Alex to not notice her looking.

So Astra is definitely aware of her.

Alex waits a little longer, watching her over her cup of coffee, to see if Astra decides to do anything else, but the silence between them only seems to stretch on. With it, Alex’s resolve to remain quiet is slipping away, until eventually it’s all gone.

With a sigh Alex places her mug on the table. “Are we going to need couple’s therapy too?”

The response is instantaneous: Astra curls up her lip in disgust. For a moment there, Alex thinks that’s the only response she’s going to be getting out of her, but much to her surprise Astra actually speaks. “You mean visiting someone who’s going to make us talk?” She shakes her head. “We don’t need a third party for that.”

“Are you sure about that?” Astra finally looks at her then, an eyebrow raised, but before she can say anything, Alex adds, “Kara’s kind of been our third party, hasn’t she?”

That brings a soft smile to her face, one they share as they remember their respective moments.

“She has been,” Astra says fondly.

They linger in their mutual love for Kara a few moments, before Alex sighs and starts her long apology for snapping and bringing up Krypton in such a way. They address Alex’s anger issues and touch on the grief regarding her father - which she won’t talk about, not now, but she will, she promises.

They also talk about Astra’s nightmares, and Astra tells her in very general non-descriptive terms what she’s dreamt last night. Finding out Krypton was dying, how no one would listen - or at least no one that had any influence - and how Alura had to sentence her to Fort Rozz in the end, where she watched Krypton burn. She refuses to talk about it any further, just like Alex refuses to talk about her father any further, but it’s a start for the both of them.

\-----

It’s a few days later that they are out with Kara and Lucy on a double date, in a place much fancier than Noonan’s. This restaurant actually has a star rating, four to be exact, and the prices show for it; their government salary really won’t be able to cover this more than once a year, even when the four of them pitch in together.

The conversation has been flowing easily, and it isn’t surprising that gushing over Kara has become a frequently passing topic, what with her sister, aunt, and soulmate seated at the same table. Kara seemed embarrassed over that, but they know Kara would have much preferred those moments over the conversation that is currently happening.

“Kara was so scared of the popcorn maker when she first got here, she’d dive under the table and refused to come out until I’d shown her exactly what it did,” Alex tells them, chuckling.

“Oh yes, she was a very scared child,” Astra agrees, grinning at Lucy. “Her ‘ _ie Astra_ ’ had to protect her from many things that made a noise during the night.”

Kara makes a soft distressed noise.

Alex nearly chokes on her wine as she’d just been taking a sip during that sentence. “She used to call you sister?” Alex manages to choke out, making Kara sink just that little further into her chair, her ears tipped red.

Lucy places a hand on Kara’s shoulder, and they share a quick look that seems to reassure Kara if even a little bit.

“In my defense, ‘ _iekhrah_ ’ wasn’t very easy to say.”

As confirmation to that statement Lucy tries to sound it out, and stumbles over the ‘khr’ sound. It sounds butchered at best, unrecognizable at worst. “It’s not very child-friendly,” she agrees.

Kara looks at her gratefully. “See?” She turns towards the other couple, “now can we please move on from my embarrassing childhood stories?”

Before either of them can respond, Lucy is grinning a cheshire grin. “Oh, we can. How about embarrassing adulthood stories! Just last week-“ the rest of her sentence comes out as an incoherent mumble, Kara’s hand in front of her mouth with a mortified look.

“We agreed to never mention that again,” she hisses. “By Rao, Lucy, I swear if you tell them-“ Kara’s voice hitches with a squeak, and she glares at Lucy.

Astra, for her part, looks away immediately, leaving Alex to wonder what just happened.

“That’s not going to make me retract my hand,” Kara states, her voice surprisingly stead as she’s starting to look a little flushed. “Promise me you won’t share that story.”

Lucy seems to continue whatever she is doing, and Alex decides she really doesn’t want to know what is happening if this is the effect it’s having on her sister. She, too, looks away now, instead looking at Astra.

That look turns quizzical when Astra is looking at her with some red-tipped ears and a slight flush as well. ‘Later,’ Astra mouths.

It takes a few moments - really long moments, is this why double dates aren’t advisable? - before Lucy hums her agreement and Kara retracts her hand. “Maybe I’ll tell you guys some other time,” she grins, making Kara throw her head back in exasperation.

Once they get the conversation back on track and they are all able to pretend that whatever just happened didn’t actually happen, things go smoothly again. They actually manage to make it to the end without anyone excusing themselves, and exit the building together before parting ways.

Astra informs Alex later that Kara’s hand wasn’t the hand that prompted those responses, but rather a hand below the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters' view on therapy do not reflect my own, these two are just too damned stubborn for their own good. If you think therapy could benefit you, there's no shame and by all means go into therapy, _I've_ been in therapy, just wanted to get that out of the way.
> 
> Oh yes, also the song from the ringtone is N'Sync - You Don't Have To Be Alone. I know, it's a Christmas song, but come on, those lines were too good. 
> 
> And _also_ iekhrah is not the actual word for aunt, I could not find a word for aunt, there might not _be_ a word for aunt, so I had creative freedom and based it on what I did know of Kryptonian/Kryptonese. Just, you know, so you know what you're in for if, for some reason, you want to use this as reference. The word ie does mean sister, though.
> 
> Now all of that aside, I hope you enjoyed this! I barely just finished this chapter, I'm still screaming from that last scene, I have no idea where that came from, but I do know I'm going to have a hard time facing my parents at dinner after that. Which is literally right now. Let me know what you think! Just two more chapters to go.


	12. Fighting Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra and Alex have a go at sparring each other, and Alex remembers there is something Astra might be interested in seeing...

With the training room available to them on Alex’s day off, they hadn’t hesitated to use it for a sparring session. To Astra it felt like it had been too long since their last time, while in reality it had barely been a week ago. Still, needing supervision when doing anything that increased her heartrate was starting to wear on her.

On the other hand, it did make sparring with Alex all the sweeter.

Astra sidesteps a particularly harsh blow coming her way and uses Alex’s momentum against her, moving to sweep her legs out from under her. She sees it coming - of course - and keeps her front leg strong, unmoving. She tries to grab at Astra, find purchase on her shirt or arm, but gets pushed back instead, separating the two.

The Kryptonian watches Alex closely, keeping her guard up as they move around each other, slow and looking for an opening, waiting to see if the other will move first.

It’s Astra that lunges back into combat first and Alex matches her, parrying and dodging, ducking under her leg and trying to get behind her, but failing when Astra keeps moving, turning away and striking with her elbow, keeping up the offensive pressure.

Finally, when Astra throws a good roundhouse kick that Alex blocks, she sees an obvious opening. Alex doesn’t see it coming, and the punch to her shoulder makes her stagger.

Even with the Kryptonite emitters at 19% - Astra’s own request, so she wouldn’t have to hold back anything without worrying about Alex’s fragile human body - Alex appears to be struggling against Astra.

Then again, she may just be slightly unfocused today.

It’s of no matter when Alex charges in again, taking the initiative and forcing Astra on the defense, restarting their dance all over again. They meet blow for blow until a beeping at both their wrists draws their attention; they’ve been at this for a full hour now, and Alex dismisses the alert for the third time.

Astra doesn’t give her much time to brace for another round, aiming a strike at her chest, and they continue their fighting session.

Alex is beautiful like this, she thinks. The movements are swift and effective, straight to the point. The thin sheen of sweat looks flattering on her, emphasizing the muscles that are exposed below the short sleeves of her polo and highlighting her face in an almost ethereal glow. She looks every bit the honorable and brave warrior she is, and usually this is accompanied by the thrill of the battle, Alex looking like she’s enjoying herself. Astra could look at her like that all day long.

Now, while no less attractive, that enjoyment appears to be lacking, and so Astra isn’t surprised when she floors Alex during their grappling with a simple sweep that she’d so easily resisted earlier.

“You’re distracted,” Astra concludes, offering up her hand to help Alex back up, which is taken with a grunt. “What’s on your mind?”

Alex gets to her feet first and looks at her intently, searching. She takes a breath before she speaks. “The message Alura left Kara.”

She nods, remembering the first time she and Alex met and how that’s the reason she got wrongly recognized. It’s not a moment she’ll forget easily.

“Would you like to see it?”

Astra tenses slightly, her first instinct to reject the offer on principle, unwilling to face her sister again, even as a pre-programmed message. Thinking about it for a second gives the same result, so she shakes her head. “That’s not my place. It was meant only for Kara to see.” It’s an excuse and she knows it, but it saves her from making the decision herself.

But it’s Alex that shakes her head now. “It’s more than just a message,” she says, and that’s all she has to say.

Astra’s eyes widen as it dawns on her. “Living memory… Of course,” she breathes. Leave it to Alura to think of everything, even when the planet is about to go up in flames. Ever composed, no matter how dire the situation. “So Kara figured out how to assemble the hologram.”

“Actually, I did,” Alex intercepts. “Well, with a little help, but it was a surprise for Kara.”

If Alex hadn’t impressed her before, she certainly had now. “Brave _and_ intelligent,” she says, marveling. Alex really is much more than she deserves, how did she ever get this lucky? Rao truly was too merciful.

“So?”

Astra’s swooning is cut short, and she frowns. Part of her thinks this is a terrible idea, that this will only serve to fuel her anger. Alura’d betrayed her, what excuse could she possibly have? The confirmation and reminder could only make things worse, make her have more nightmares and intensify them with a renewed vigor.

But a bigger part of her ached to see Alura again, a part that wanted to recover, to continue living life. Astra knows she should face her demons, she’s not that oblivious to the workings of psychology. Maybe, just maybe, talking to her sister again will help, even if it is just her hologram.

At least it will speak the truth.

So she nods wordlessly, and follows Alex’s lead.

\-----

Seeing her sister again after all those years, even if it was merely a hologram of her, affected Astra more than she'd like to admit. She’s rendered breathless for a moment. "Sister," she barely manages to bring out, swallowing roughly.

"Hello, Astra."

Her voice isn't the same. While she has to admit they've done a good job at making sure the voice doesn't sound electronic, it still lacks the genuine emotion Alura always had, even when she tried to hide it.

Even so, it is enough to make her feel weak in her knees, overwhelmed by too many emotions tearing at her at once.

She thought she'd be angrier, that she'd rage and want to ravage the whole place, that she'd wanted to destroy it, destroy Alura.

Instead she finds herself wishing she could hug her sister again, make amends and forget about all the complications.

But that's why she’s here, isn't she? To deal with those complications, to sort through her feelings, to get her sister's aid in whatever way she could. Astra doesn't want to stay angry for the rest of her life, not now that she found a chance of starting a new life, a happy life. Not when Alura's name is branded on her wrist, her memory intertwined with her soulmate, the anger tainting her connection with Alex.

She needs to do this, she just doesn't know how.

"You haven't been programmed to notify the cops of my location, have you?" Astra starts, half of her joking lamely, the other half of her not putting such a trick above Alura and actually needing to know.

"No, I am exclusively connected to Alura's memory."

Astra puffs out a relieved breath, ignoring the pang she feels at the stark reminder of her sister's absence. She knows it's not her sister, she knows it's not the same, but maybe if she can just pretend it is this'll be easier. With a last steeling breath she looks the hologram- Alura dead in the eyes.

Despite the blue glow, it's not hard to pretend it's really her. They'd used holographic communication before, in the first few years Astra had to go for longer off-planet missions. It was a way for Alura to ease her mind, to see that her sister was doing fine, and a way for Astra to draw strength from her, her beacon of comfort from home.

Except it’s not a beacon of comfort, not this time, this time it is the source of her anger.

There are many things she both does and doesn’t wish to know at the same time, like how she caught all of her men on the same day, on the very day before Myriad went live, if she’d planned it all meticulously to sentence them and doom their planet on the day it was supposed to be saved. How she possibly could have chosen duty over family, especially when the world was about to end. What value does duty have when the instance you answer to is about to perish?

But there is one question that has been at the forefront of her mind at all times, and it’s the most incomprehensible and unforgivable thing to Astra. “Why involve Kara?”

There is a brief silence, presumably to process what is asked of her. “I do not understand the context of the question.”

Astra huffs; it’s harder to pretend this is Alura when the construct can’t read between the lines flawlessly. “Why involve Kara in my arrest?”

She understands that Alura’s duty dictated she arrest Astra; Myriad was a powerful tool, and while it would have been a necessity in saving the planet, having that much power over a large part of the population would have to be dealt with.

While she doesn’t understand it, she can even think of a few possible reasons Alura could have had for picking duty over her family. The pressure of having to be perfect had been huge for the two of them - especially Alura - driving their ambition, but at great cost.

But the one thing she can’t grasp, no matter how much she thinks about it, is using her niece - _Alura’s_ _own_ _daughter_ \- to do it. Betraying her was one thing, but using Kara had just been needlessly cruel.

Perhaps that’s why Alura never told her where Astra had gone.

Selfish.

When the silence stretches on, longer than before, when she knows Alura understood her question but still doesn’t answer, Astra growls. “Answer me!”

And of course now she replies, but it’s not the reponse she’d been looking for. “I am not programmed to give you that information.”

Astra thought this construct would have to be honest, but even here it seems Alura has found ways for her deceit. It says it wasn’t programmed to answer the question, but it could have been programmed to _avoid_ the question. “Your control panel,” she demands, “where is it?”

“I can’t answer that.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

When Alura speaks, she speaks with raised eyebrows and a semi-nod to drive the point home, in a way that makes her seem so alive; this thing has no right to emulate her this well. “Can’t.”

Kryptonese curses fall from Astra’s lips. <“Then I’ll find it myself,”> she mutters as she scans the room for possible places it could be hidden.

<“That is ill-advised,”> Alura warns, and hologram or not, emotionless or not, hearing that language with her voice sends a chill down Astra’s spine.

But even then it barely gives her pause, because she is a woman on a mission, and her mission getting some damned answers from a poorly-programmed hologram. <“When did I ever listen to your advice,”> Astra grumbles as she trudges on.

The walls don’t seem like they could be housing it, and there doesn’t seem to be a hidden compartment in the floor, so the most obvious place below the platform is just about the only option.

<“You listened to my advice when you told me Krypton’s core was unstable,”> Alura’s voice states plainly.

Astra’s eyes flash as she turns back around to face the holographic Alura. It appears this construct is just as ready to argue with her as her sister once was, and despite it being a mere piece of technology, that living memory attached is really starting to show. <“Look how that turned out for us,”> she snarls, but Alura seems to ignore it as she continues.

<“You listened to my advice during your missions.”>

Her curled up lip drops back down, and there’s only a slight frown left on her face. She’d thought of their holographic communications moments before, but now there’s actual memories surfacing at the reminder, of consulting Alura for a second opinion when she needed it, especially when it came to moral calls, trusting her judgment.

Alura isn’t done, and she continues listing instances where Astra heeded her advice, and that is the one thing that is unlike the living version of her: that mechanical persistence. Astra doesn’t doubt it is going to cite every single moment in Alura’s memory, and she feels compelled to tell it to stop, that this isn’t necessary, but the more things it tells her in her sister’s voice, in a language almost faded from this universe, the more that urge fades. And so she lets the intelligence ramble on, which seems to be listing things in reverse-chronological order.

At some point Astra sits down against the wall, her knees drawn up to her chest, simply listening and letting the good memories fill her being. She’s not sure when she started crying, but she can feel the wetness on her cheeks and in her eyes and finds she doesn’t care, not when Alura keeps talking.

<“You listened to my advice when I told you it’d be okay to go near that yagrum.”>

Astra laughs at the memory of approaching that creature when they were young, having found it in a cave. Against all warnings the two of them went in there and ran into the predator, who appeared to be quite docile despite its nature. It’s an honest miracle they both survived that encounter considering it can swallow an adult Kryptonian whole, let alone two children who are foolish enough to believe it wants to be petted.

One growl had been enough to send the both of them running for the hills.

And still Alura continues with a few more instances, and Astra couldn’t have kept track if she’d wanted to. She must have been sitting there for hours, and she’s grateful that Alex is giving her all the time she wants and, frankly, needs. It’s almost like she’s recounting memories with her actual sister, almost as nice as it would have been with the real person.

Almost.

When the intelligence is finished and Astra’s laughter dies down, all she is left with is an ache. She hadn’t realized just how often she came to Alura for advice, how much she misses being able to do so now that she actually wants to. Astra listened so much, and yet, yet Alura didn’t do the same, or at least not when it mattered.

Astra sighs, and fresh tears pool in her eyes. <“Then why didn’t you listen to my advice, about Krypton?”>

<“I did listen,”> Alura says and this time Astra doesn’t feel the need to argue immediately, too emotionally drained to do anything but hear her out. <“I’d readied four escape pods, even one for you if you decided to come home with me. The High Council had been made aware of this, and they threatened to lay waste to them if I didn’t bring you to the Citadel, by any means necessary. I resisted at first, but they took the pods one by one, and in the end I was forced to comply. I could not allow them to take Kara’s pod as well.”>

There’s a pause, and while this construct is not capable of showing emotion, Astra can practically see her sister in her mind’s eye, can see the sadness and regret that would accompany those words. Less about duty, and more about being blackmailed then.

She never did like the High Council.

<“I tried to fight for your cause,”> she continues. <“You weren’t wrong about the people, en masse they would not listen, blinded by their greed and mistrust for one another. Lara and Jor-El listened, and they tried to help, but I’m afraid we did not get much farther than you did.”>

Astra’s stomach drops low in her gut, and she slumps. Knowing Alura had done what she could, in a way she believed to be right, that she’d tried and failed much like herself… While it’s a relief, it’s painful to hear, and she almost misses the familiarity of her anger now, for the anger at Alura has dissipated.

Even when thinking that she could have pulled it off with Myriad, that Alura’d stopped her, that she could have let Astra go one more day and let her save them, it’s not anger that she feels. There’s sadness, and perhaps some frustration, but not anger, not towards Alura. She does not blame her sister for prioritizing Kara; she would have done the same.

Towards the High Council is a different matter entirely, of course, but there is no mark on her body that reminds her of them. Unless her dreams dictate it, she won’t have to spare them another thought or feeling.

Right now is an exception however, when the realization settles in that if it weren’t for them, Alura would still be with her.

She hopes those pen-pushers never reached Rao’s light; they don’t deserve it.

Allowing herself a few more moments on the floor, simply looking at her sister’s hologram, she gathers her strength to get back to her feet and wipe the tears from her face (and neck). She doesn’t mind Alex seeing it, but she has no interest in showing off just how much of a wreck she currently is to the rest of the DEO, or anyone else they’ll run into on the way back home.

Home. Just when did she start referring to Alex’s apartment as home?

It’s an apt description, though.

When she steps out of the hologram room Alex is already waiting for her. She’s pulled out a chair and was clearly fiddling with her phone before the doors unsealed. She takes Astra in swiftly. “You okay?”

“I will be,” Astra nods. Her nose scrunches up when she catches a whiff of her own shirt, reminded that she came here straight after their sparring session, and she adds, “after a good shower.”

“I bet. Let’s go home then.”

There’s a small smile that sneaks upon Astra’s face. “Yes… Home.”

\-----

While the rest of the day had gone by smoothly, Astra had no such luck during the night. The conversation with Alura’s A.I. had been a stark reminder of what had come to pass, of how Alura’s actions ultimately saved Kara with her sacrifice, whereas she herself had been less than welcoming upon learning of her survival.

_“Find her and kill her.”_

Her own words resound in her dreams harshly, and while she can no longer feel the anger she had back then, the dream version of herself was still affected by it, still acted out. Astra was a helpless bystander in her own body- no, her own mind, she knows this is a memory, knows how this story goes.

But the nightmare doesn’t stick to just a memory, instead taking it one step further when it skips ahead - she somehow knows it’s been three days since the kill order - and enters her Captain.

_“General, Kara Zor-El is dead.”_

Astra can feel her mouth curl up into a cruel grin, and she rewards him, because what else can she do? She wants to scream, wants to tear his head off, wants to curl in on herself and cry, but she can do none of those things.

Well, in her dreams she can do none of those things. In reality she does scream, she does cry, and it brings her back to consciousness.

It wasn’t real, it was simply a dream, but it could have been. Rao, it could have been, and Astra’d wanted it to at the time, had wanted Kara dead, however irrational that desire.

She can feel Alex stir next to her - of course she’s woken her up - and place a gentle hand on her arm. “What happened?”

Alex sounds so sleepy when she asks, which does nothing to alleviate the guilt that pools in the pit of her stomach; Astra always feels bad interrupting her sleep, but even more so now that she’s expected to talk about this.

It’s one thing to speak of Krypton, of things that do not relate to Alex in any capacity, but this, this is personal, this is about Kara, and it’s recent, much too recent, mere days before meeting Alex.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Alex pushes at her prolonged silence; she won’t force Astra to talk, but they discussed this, and she said she would try.

She wants to, doesn’t want to disappoint Alex - or herself, for that matter - by keeping her silence, but what is the alternative? She says Astra can tell her anything, anything at all, except everyone has their limits.

Would Alex hate her if she knew?

It’s not a risk she is willing to take; disappointment they can deal with, but Astra isn’t sure she could deal with Alex hating her.

There’s a sigh beside her as Alex lies back down, giving her the space to remain silent, to suffer through this alone, like she feels she deserves.

But she shouldn’t.

They talked about this.

Upon further reflection, this is too big to keep from Alex without it putting a strain on their relationship. Even if Alex doesn’t know, it will keep weighing on Astra like it is weighing on her now, and the longer she waits, the harder this will be.

Swallowing in an attempt to rid her throat of that dryness, Astra braces herself. She just needs to get it out there. “I ordered my men to kill Kara.”

Her voice is much steadier than she feels; right now she fears the worst, doesn’t dare to look at Alex, instead keeps staring at the ceiling in the darkness. By Rao, she doesn’t even dare picture the expressions on her face right now as her words settle in.

Instinctively, her right hand moves to rub at her left wrist, over the tattoo. That habit had started as something to soothe herself, to remind her that there was someone out there waiting for her, even if they were expecting the wrong twin. It’s still soothing now, in the face of this cutting silence.

“What?!”

Finally, finally that silence is broken, and it’s not as bad as she’d feared, not yet. Alex hasn’t bolted, isn’t yelling yet, hasn’t made a move to strangle her either, so she dares to take a look at her.

Shock: expected. Disturbance: also expected. Her mouth moving to bring out new words, but failing to compose any: unexpected, but favorable to hostility.

Alex does eventually settle on a word. “When?”

And so Astra tells her, starting with when, and then getting to elaborate on why, what could possibly have driven her to _want_ to kill her beloved niece. She’s surprised by Alex’s patience - she held off judgment until she got the whole story, only because of how distraught Astra looked - and it does feel like a relief to get it all off her chest.

By the time it’s all said and done, when Astra has spoken of the awful twist her dreams conjured, they are cuddling, the warmth of each other a comfort for both.

“I won’t say it’s okay,” Alex starts after a short silence, and Astra clings to her a little harder, gratefully, because she would never want it to be viewed as such, “but I know you would never hurt Kara now.”

There is a pause before Alex leans in and whispers - or hisses, perhaps more accurately - into Astra’s ear. “If you do hurt her, there isn’t a place in this universe you could hide.”

It’s a clear threat and Astra has no doubt she would follow through on it, yet all she feels is a warmth blossoming in her chest. That fierce protectiveness and bravery is sure to keep Kara safe, even from Astra herself if need be. “Good,” she says, “but I won’t let it come to that. Not again.”

“You better not,” she hums. “I’d hate to have to kill you.” Alex’s voice is soft and, despite the heavy topic of conversation, it almost sounds like ‘ _I_ _love_ _you_ ’.

“I wouldn’t wish to kill you either.” _I love you too._

Perhaps on day they’ll have the courage to actually say the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, are y'all still with me? Are y'all ready for the last chapter? Well, and perhaps more importantly rn, did y'all enjoy _this_ chapter?
> 
> But man, I can hardly believe there's only one more chapter left, I'm getting emotional before the last chapter is even posted, I'm gonna be a mess in the next author note, lol


	13. Game Over

Astra wakes to the silent murmur of the morning, the sun peeping through the gap of the still-closed curtains, the chatter of birds and the ever-present sound of traffic, both from vehicles and humans. Her hearing is one of her few enhanced abilities that she cannot shut off and is therefore allowed to use, which is as much a blessing as it is a curse.

Mostly a blessing now that she’s learned how to cope with the lack of silence.

Sleepily, she seeks out Alex on the other side of the bed, turning over and reaching out an arm to wrap it around her mate’s waist. Instead of meeting the warm skin she is looking for though, her arm falls through thin air onto the mattress, cold and void of any trace of human warmth, indicating Alex hasn’t been lying there for a while.

Knitting her brows together, Astra opens her eyes and glances at the clock. Eight o’clock in the morning. How early did Alex get up?

Squinting, she scans her surroundings, not finding Alex anywhere in the open apartment. Her x-ray vision tells her the bathroom is empty, too. Maybe she’s out getting coffee at that Noonan’s place, she could be back any minute then.

Astra hums at the thought of a good cup of coffee; she’s putting her hopes on that now, she could use it right about now.

Shucking the blankets, Astra sets out for her morning routine, which includes a decently long shower and an equal amount of time spent drying her hair with an aptly named blowdryer, one of Earth’s many inconveniently underdeveloped tools. Still, it’s better than letting it dry naturally.

Enough time passes that Alex should have made it back by now, but when Astra returns to the open space of the apartment, she is still nowhere to be seen.

Not a coffee run then. Disappointing, but no reason for concern. Perhaps she went out for groceries, or got called in for an emergency at the DEO, those things happen. A note will inevitably be waiting for Astra on the counter in that case, and so she checks.

Nothing.

It’s strange enough to put Astra on edge; Alex is disciplined, she wouldn’t simply _forget_.

But again it’s not enough reason to worry, not yet, perhaps there was more haste this time - despite there being no signs of it, no traces of Alex having left at all, no plate in the sink, no laundry tossed about - and maybe she left a message on Astra’s phone instead.

Again, nothing.

Now Astra is beginning to worry. They left each other notes for a reason, what with Alex’s line of work and Astra’s former status of being a Fort Rozz convict. She opens her contacts and taps on the first of three saved numbers, calling Alex’s phone.

It goes straight to voicemail.

She huffs. Something is definitely off.

Or perhaps Alex has opted to ignore her, last night’s conversation finally caught up with her. Perhaps it’d finally sunk in and she truly realizes Astra’d wanted her niece _dead_ , her own blood, and made Alex want to get away from her as quickly as possible.

Astra grits her teeth; she thought they’d worked that out, but how can she expect anyone to accept and forgive that when she can’t even forgive herself for it?

Only one way to find out, which is finding Alex herself, wherever she may be right now. Astra decides that if anyone knows it’d be Kara, so she’s the next to be called.

_“Aunt Astra?”_

“Little One, have you heard from Alex today?” Her voice is calm, as steady as she can make it; she doesn’t want to worry Kara without any preemptive.

_“No, why? Is something wrong?”_

Astra bites back a string of curses; that left only the DEO and if she isn’t there something is most definitely wrong, if only between the two of them.

Still, if something were truly wrong, Astra is certain the DEO would alert Kara and call for her aid, there is no need for her to concern herself with this yet. “Nothing for you to worry about, Kara. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

Before Kara gets the chance to tell her it wasn’t a bother Astra hangs up, fully intending to call the third and final person in her contacts, Director Henshaw. She doesn’t have the patience for pleasantries right now, worry and insecurity tearing at her; she needs to know what is going on. If Alex is there and ignoring her - much as that would pain her - she’ll know where they’re standing, at least she’ll know that Alex is safe. If she’s not, at least they could help locate her.

She doesn’t get the chance to, however.

The screen of her phone lights up and shows the face of a blonde white woman. While Astra has never seen her like this before, she could never forget that face, regardless of skin color: Brainiac-8, or Indigo, whatever she went by these days. It’s not rocket science to figure out she has something to do with Alex’s disappearance, she must have.

“You,” Astra snarls, her voice dangerously low. “What have you done?”

_“Nothing yet.”_ Indigo sounds amused, looks like it too with that smug grin on her face. _“Well, nothing serious,”_ she admonishes, _“that human of yours doesn’t like to sit still, so I had to make her.”_

Astra’s eyes flash at the confirmation that she does have Alex, of the implication of her being hurt. “What do you want, _Brainiac_?” She sneers the name like an insult.

“ _So antagonizing_ ,” she tuts. “ _I want you on your knees, begging for your own death_.” The Coluan looks positively gleeful at the prospect, her eyes gleaming, before her face straightens into something more bored. “ _Or I could kill your precious human, the choice is yours_.”

It’s hardly a surprise that Indigo wants her dead. Astra’s expression’d turned blank somewhere during the threat, and she’s keeping herself in check. Aggression isn’t going to help her now, not with her soulmate’s life on the line. “Alex’s life for mine, that is the trade you want to make?”

_“With all my heart.”_

“Where do we meet?”

Indigo’s expression turns thoughtful, like she hasn’t thought of all of this before to make it her own brand of perfect. Always playing games. Then a cruel smile graces her lips. _“How about the warehouse you two first met? Come alone, do not alert anyone, and come unarmed, or she dies. Oh, and Astra?”_

She nearly growls. “What now?”

That previous smile had nothing on the maliciousness of this one, the glint in her eyes one of pure evil. Pain for the sake of pain. _“I’d hurry if I were you.”_

Astra is spared any further taunting when the screen returns to her contact list, though it hardly matters with that threat hanging in the air. Alex can handle herself, sure, but she is still human, and Indigo is not afraid of causing permanent damage. In fact, she’d only relish it the longer Astra waits.

And so Astra wastes no time, moving towards one of the nearest drawers.

Traveling by human means would take much too long, and she cannot risk taking the tracker with her, Indigo would see right through that. Taking it off will also alert the DEO, of course, but without it around her wrist there is no way for them to know where she is exactly.

She pulls out a piece of paper and writes a quick note, places her phone on top of it when she’s done. Astra also swiftly removes the wristband to put next to the note, before flying off to the warehouse. Items J’onn will find about 5 minutes later, growling out a few curses when he reads the note.

 

_Director Henshaw,_

_Indigo took Alex in a rather pathetic attempt at poetic retribution. I must go alone for I cannot risk her life, as you surely understand. I will put the tracker back on upon my return, provided I survive this encounter._

_Signed,  
General Astra In-Ze._

 

\-----

Alex huffs her frustration, wrestling with the ropes around her wrists that are tied behind her back. “Come on, come on!” Her voice is quiet enough for Indigo not to hear, or so she hopes. She has no idea where the woman went, just that she went to go contact Astra.

Her best guess is that the Coluan transferred herself into the security camera just outside the warehouse, which would mean she’s in an entirely different plane of existence and probably, hopefully, can’t hear anything inside the warehouse.

She’d woken up this morning not in her bed, but to a condescending grin in Indigo’s arms as she was flown to the warehouse she’s currently residing at. Alex remembered from the last time they faced her back at the DEO that the woman could change herself into a string of data and enter screens, so her first instinct had been to remove the watch that monitored Astra, simply because it had a display.

Perhaps not her brightest move, considering the DEO could use it to find her had she kept it, but what’s done is done.

Once in the warehouse, wrists and ankles tied, and tucked away near a few boxes, Indigo’d left to contact Astra, and Alex had ample chance to find something to help free herself with. Unfortunately for her, the best thing in reach had been a rusty nail. Not the most useful, but it would have to do.

She’s still struggling against her bonds when Indigo returns, glee radiating off the woman. “Astra should be here any minute,” she says as she approaches Alex, pulling out a knife from some hidden pocket in that blue suit of hers, the shade near indistinguishable from her skin. Her eyes gleam wickedly when she crouches down in front of Alex, waving the weapon in front of her face. “And then the fun can begin.”

Alex’s eyes remain glued to the knife, the eerie green glow of it especially: Kryptonite. She’s seen this knife before, it’s the same knife J’onn had used during the fight with the Kryptonian criminals and then Indigo, who had evidently managed to seize it prior to her departure.

Five minutes pass before Indigo evidently grows bored of waiting, impatience leading her back to Alex. “I calculated an 88% chance of Astra coming for you as fast as her Kryptonian powers could carry her. It appears I overestimated her care for you.” Her head cocks to the side a little, a malicious grin forming on her lips. “Perhaps we both did.”

Alex grits her teeth. “Go to hell.”

“In due time, but for now I have you to entertain me.” Indigo brings the knife to the human’s arm, digging the point into her skin, staining it with her blood, and Alex hisses against the stinging pain. She doesn’t have to endure it for long as the blade withdraws when a crashing noise draws both their attention away, along with a growling voice that both soothes and worries her.

“Get away from her,” Astra demands, dust from the new hole in the ceiling still raining down on her, her entrance and posture a clear threat; she has her powers, and she’s not afraid to use them. She’s here to fight, not to surrender.

Except right now Indigo has leverage, and Alex hates that she’s only a liability at the moment; being the damsel in distress _sucks_.

“Always in time to spoil the fun,” Indigo drawls as she moves away from her, facing towards Astra, but still keeping the blade close to Alex, keeping it ready to tear open her throat. “You know the deal.”

Astra makes eye contact with Alex, and she can see some concern there - Indigo was wrong, they hadn’t overestimated her care, if anything even Alex had _underestimated_ how much Astra cares - but it’s overshadowed by the vicious fire of a burning anger and determination, and Alex knows Indigo won’t make it out of this alive. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” _Fight, even with my life at stake_. “Are you?” _Don’t surrender your own_. Alex hopes Astra will understand, that she’ll help in whatever way a human can in between two super-powered beings, that she knows the risk, but isn’t going to let Astra sacrifice herself for her. That they’re in this together, and either they both die, or both survive.

Astra nods and they hold each other’s gaze for only about a second before she looks at Indigo instead, who beckons her, “well?” Astra squares her jaw and starts moving towards her, her posture rigid and that fire in her eyes never diminishing.

Indigo’s full attention in on her soulmate now, and Alex carefully takes the opportunity to continue working on getting rid of those damned ropes around her wrists. The rope is frail at best, but it’s bulky and the rope work is solid; it’s a struggle, but she’s managed worse.

“One wrong move and she bleeds,” Indigo reminds her when she’s getting close, close enough to use her super-speed and just be done with it, if it weren’t for that damned Kryptonite.

When she’s about two feet away from Indigo the woman tells her to stop, and Astra’s jaw twitches. Alex can’t see it, but when Astra stands unmoving for a couple of seconds too long Indigo must have given her some sort of look, because she gets to her knees stiffly and slowly.

That’s when Indigo decides to move towards Astra instead, the knife away from Alex at last, now instead in the Kryptonian’s near vicinity, which is bound to make her at least queasy. Not that the general would ever show such a thing.

Her eyes rise to meet Indigo, defiance still in them and seemingly as focused on her as she is on Astra, but Alex can see that telltale twitching of her eyes occasionally, undoubtedly flickering to her to check in. “You’ll let Alex go when this is done?”

“I suppose. I have no interest in killing _one_ puny human.”

Another twitch of her eyes, and Alex is still avidly wrestling with those stupid ropes. If only this nail was a little rustier, or just a little longer, or just a little sharper, that’d make it easier to wear it down, but this is all she has, unless she can somehow get her hands on that knife.

“Then get on with it,” Astra hisses.

“Oh I will, but not until you beg for it.”

“I don’t beg.”

Her eyes flicker once again, and Alex catches on that this is all an act to stall, to give her the time to cut her bonds loose, to help out, because with that Kryptonite knife there is nothing super Astra can do to save them both, and right now she’s the vulnerable one, not Alex.

“Then maybe I need to give you a reason to beg.”

Correction, Alex is still a vulnerable one, and they both realize it when Indigo starts to turn towards her.

“Wait!” Astra says quickly, before Indigo has taken her eyes off her and instead goes back to fully facing Astra again, cocking her head expectantly.

A taunt is all it had been, and it’s sickening how all of this is simply a game to Indigo, while it’s anything but that to them. Astra grits her teeth, a lip curling up in disgust, before she spits out a “please.”

Alex can feel the ropes weaken, can feel they have more give now, that they’re about to break, if Astra can stall just a little longer…

“You’ll have to do better than that, put some feeling into it.”

Astra looks like she’s about to object, but then appears to think better of it when her eyes shift to Alex at a human speed. The fire in her eyes dims, and Alex’s eyes widen in panic, at seeing the fight leave Astra, the struggling against her bonds increasing. “No,” she breathes, but Astra turned her attention back to Indigo. “Astra, please!”

A shake of Astra’s head is all the acknowledgment she gets; once that stubborn Kryptonian makes up her mind, there really is no talking her out of it.

This isn’t happening. This cannot be happening. Astra is not going to lay down her life because she deems this too risky, this doesn’t have to happen if those damned ropes would just break already, if she could jump Indigo right now and reach for that knife they’ll have a chance.

_Come on, come on, come on!_

“Please,” Astra starts, and it sounds so sincere that Alex’s stomach churns.

This is bad, this is very bad, Astra is actually going to go through with this, and she’ll have to watch as Indigo kills Astra right in front of her, as she kills her soulmate, the person she is meant to spend the rest of her life with, the woman she _loves_.

“Please, what?”

With a final harsh tug Alex finally manages to free her wrists and she doesn’t hesitate to lunge for Indigo even when her ankles are still bound, to get as close to the knife as possible, to get it away from Astra. Colliding with a Coluan turns out to be just as pleasant as colliding with a Kryptonian or a brick wall - which is to say not at all pleasant - but Alex grew up around Kara and she’s been trained for situations like these.

She jams the rusty nail into the junction of her neck and the shoulder of the arm that’s holding the knife, and it startles Indigo enough to slacken her hold on the knife. Alex scrambles to grab it and toss it as far as she can, but she doesn’t get the chance to. One moment she’s picking up the knife, and the next she collides with an actual wall, thrown off by Indigo.

She doesn’t have the knife.

“You _stupid_ human,” she hisses, her arms transforming into long blades; at least it appears Indigo doesn’t have the knife either. “I was going to spare you, but now you leave me no choice.”

_Crack!_

The muscles in her blue body go slack, falling to the ground like a marionette without its puppeteer. Or in this case, Alex notices when her head hits the concrete, a body without its brain. Alex looks up at Astra, who burns the appendage with heat vision for good measure.

Alex blinks; for some reason she’d expected this to be a lot more complicated and epic.

While the fight wasn’t all that she’d thought it would be, she realizes that the resulting pain certainly is up to par with her expectations when she attempts to reach for the bindings around her ankles.

Astra is at her side the moment a pained groan leaves her throat, crouched down at her level, gently guiding her back to the concrete floor and clearly assessing her for injuries. If the squinting is anything to go by, she’s using x-ray vision to do so.

Alex pushes back the urge to insist she’s fine, instead asking, “anything broken?”

After a few seconds Astra shakes her head. “You got lucky,” she says before working to undo the bindings.

“Sure doesn’t feel that way,” she grumbles. Alex may not have broken anything, but when she touches her right side - right where her soulmark is located, of all places - she can’t help but hiss at how sensitive it is. That’s going to be some very nasty bruising.

When Astra’s freed her ankles Alex immediately moves to get up, her jaw clenched against the sting. She stumbles only slightly before she feels Astra’s hand on her shoulder. Alex is ready to tell her off, that she doesn’t need to be steadied, that she can stand perfectly fine on her own and that’s she’s had much worse; it evaporates when the touch turns to Astra pulling her in and holding her close.

She’s gentle, and Alex could swear Astra’s hands are barely touching her at all. The clear effort not to hurt her is noted, but as much as the consideration warms her heart she tires of it quickly and wraps her arms around Astra, clinging to her as tightly as she can. In turn Astra dares to tighten her hold, and Alex ignores her stinging side; she doesn’t care right now, the relief setting in as the adrenaline starts to fade.

They survived, both of them, despite their adversary’s plans.

They’re alive, except they won’t be for long, because J’onn is going to kill them. First he’s going to kill her for ditching the monitoring watch, then kill Astra for breaking the terms of her release, and then kill Alex again for losing his knife just when she’d found it again.

She cringes and Astra releases her immediately as if being burned, backing up a few steps as she regards Alex with some frantic combination of concern and regret, but Alex is quick to explain, “Hank is going to kill us.”

Astra close her eyes with a sigh, after which she straightens. “Then we better head back,” she says, meeting her eyes with a small mischievous grin that makes Alex wonder if she should be concerned. “Do you trust me?”

Alex doesn’t have to think about it, just looks at her quizzically. “Yes?”

That grin widens, and the next moment she’s scooped up with a slightly startled “wow”, now settled surprisingly comfortably in Astra’s arms. Her stomach flips when they take off barely a second later, having next to no time to adjust, but it hardly matters because they are _flying_.

It’s one thing to go flying with Kara, how they used to sneak out and enjoy the thrill of both soaring through the air - with flips and corkscrews, close above the ocean water or high above the clouds - and disobeying her parents. It’s quite another to be here with Astra when there is no mischief, and the hammering of her heart in her chest is due to a completely different reason.

She smiles up at her soulmate. Astra looks like she’s enjoying herself as much as she is, an unbridled joy in her eyes when she looks at Alex, and the attached warmth makes her heart melt.

They fly longer than is necessary; even this high above the ground Alex can tell they’re making a detour, but she doesn’t comment on it, instead presses against Astra even more.

When they finally do get to Alex’s apartment J’onn is waiting for them and calls off his search parties the moment they come in. Surprisingly, he doesn’t look angry, just somewhat exasperated. Astra looks like a kicked puppy when he gives her a proper scolding, but he then leaves them alone to deal with the situation tomorrow and let them have some much needed time to themselves.

\-----

“I love you.”

They’re in bed, all bundled and cuddled up to each other in silence, until Alex says this out of the blue. Astra’s eyes shoot open to look at her, and Alex looks more vulnerable than she’s ever looked. She also looks a little shellshocked, like she hadn’t meant to say it, like it just slipped out, but when Astra opens her mouth to respond, Alex stops her.

“Wait, you don’t have to, I just… I need to say this.” She gives Alex an encouraging nod, and she takes a breath before she continues, her gaze no longer meeting Astra’s. “When I saw you in front of Indigo, when she was about to… kill you. I thought I was going to lose you.”

Astra hadn’t thought any differently, she’d thought this was the end of the line for her too. She’d known Alex was up to something, had seen the nail in her hands (through x-ray vision, of course) and the damage to the ropes, but when she couldn’t stall any further and she still hadn’t been free, Astra hadn’t much faith to make it out alive.

“You were just _sitting there_ because you didn’t want _me_ to die and I realized then that I couldn’t… That I don’t _want_ to imagine my life without you, because I love you.” Alex dares look up as she says the last part, to see Astra smiling softly.

Her heart soars at hearing the words again, this time without being caught off guard.

“I wasn’t sure before. I knew there was _something_ , but love? I didn’t think- didn’t dare to hope that would happen.”

Astra could certainly relate, she’d given up on a soulmate as a whole, and even when her mark appeared she couldn’t imagine being loved, or have the chance to love in return.

Alex continues, and it’s starting to sound more like rambling, gaze turned away again. “I mean, this is good, right? We’re soulmates, and girlfriends, and living together, even though you’re probably going to move out soon, I’m sure the DEO will find a place for you to live within the week. It just feels like it’s so early, you know? And-“ Her voice dies in her throat when Astra cups her cheek.

“Brave One,” she murmurs, prompting Alex to look at her. When she does Astra’s smile grows. “I do love you as well.”

Oh, how Alex lights up at that, she can almost see the woman’s heart leap out of her chest, much like how she lunges to kiss Astra. Their lips positively crash together, but the kiss softens gradually, movements slowing as well.

It’s Astra who pulls away first, settling her forehead against Alex’s as they catch their breaths.

“I don’t have to move out,” she says after a moment. “I could stay, if you’d like me to.”

Yes, of course Alex would like Astra to stay with her, in her apartment, in her bed- in _their_ bed, and she kisses Astra again. Astra, who this time responds more eagerly and enthusiastically, who rolls them over and makes sure Alex knows just how much she loves her and just how much she’d like to stay, specifically in this very bed.

There is no irksome alarm to dismiss every half hour this time around, and later, when they face J’onn in the morning, he doesn’t bother reequipping them with the gadgets either. So long as Astra will help them get rid of the remaining pieces of Myriad, which she will.

Later she even joins the DEO, seeing as they never did her any harm, and being out in the field with Alex had been too appealing to pass up on. At least for a while, until Astra figures out a proper way to make the humans consider their planet and take care of it.

Later, much later, they get married, Kara escorting Astra to the altar, and J’onn escorting Alex. They’ll make their vows to love and protect each other for as long as their bond lasts in front of their family and friends, which includes about half the DEO. They’ll seal their vows with a kiss, and make each other more promises during the night that follows whenever their mouths aren’t busy with the other.

Later they talk about starting a family, but settle on a dog first, a big mixed breed from the shelter that listens to the name Bruno. There is time for kids at a later date, for they’ll have many decades to share.

But right now, when Alex has fallen asleep beside her, Astra gazes at the mark on her wrist, at the graceful lines that show her late sister’s name, and she smiles at the absence of the anger and despair that she used to feel when looking at it. Instead all she feels is love: for her soulmate, but also for her sister and niece, knowing she has Alex to thank for it.

It may have take over seven decades, but Alexandra Danvers had been well worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't even know what to say right now, that was the end. Can you believe this? 
> 
> I can't, I've spent the past six months on this, with this on my mind constantly. I have walked around with 'Alura' written on my wrist for about a third of this time, that's how attached I was to this story, okay? My heart and soul went into this, especially my soul (cause... cause it's a soulmate AU? no?), and now it's done. I'm both relieved it's done and out there, and dreading letting go, this has been a _ride_ , I'm probably going to miss it.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos: holy crap, almost 400 by the time I'm posting this. An even bigger thank you to everyone who left a comment: you were all the highlight of my day, and again, holy crap, the counter is above 200, and ofc half of those are mine, but that is still about 100 comments, I cannot, you all have been so generous. A special shout out to those who commented regularly especially, or contacted me personally with a response, that counts too.
> 
> And with that... I leave you for this story (though I'll still be lurking in the comments ;P). Thank you so much for sticking with me on this journey (50k, _holy crap_ ), I sincerely hope you enjoyed it, and perhaps I'll catch you guys on a different story!

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr as Kendrickhier, feel free to yell at me


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